Duan Zi must not be an animal manager!

Dormitory sleeping party.

A: give me a woman and I can create a nation.

B: I believe it! Give you a dog, and you can create a race.

C said faintly: You must never be city zoo in the future, or you can create a world of Warcraft.

2:

Xiaoming asks for leave from his teacher, who says: What's wrong with boys?

yes, that's why I'm going to the hospital.

3:

The teacher asked Xiaoming: Did your mother hit you?

Xiao Ming: I called

Teacher: I called several times

Xiao Ming: I called three times, but I didn't get rid of it

Teacher: Get out!

4:

There is a handsome guy on the opposite balcony, who plays with his mobile phone to bask in the sun every day. Sometimes he looks up and smiles at me, which makes my heart beat, so I go out of the balcony every day to see him for the reason of pretending to hang clothes. One day, my broadband expired, and the handsome guy disappeared because I was too busy to pay the bill. I really want to see him.

5:

My sister-in-law came to see me. I was just about to speak. . . My wife is in the kitchen, sticking out her head and shouting, If you dare to take a look, I'll break your leg. . .

6:

My boyfriend always does everything with me AA. Even if he is on it for a few minutes, I have to be on it for a few minutes. Well, I always let him come first, so I don't have to be on it. . .

7

At noon, accompany my wife downstairs to eat western food. Check out 95 yuan, touch your pocket, no money. The waiter said: Your wife is here, and you can't run away. Go home and get it.

I was worried about the safety of my second-rate wife, so I ran up to the sixth floor and rushed back with 1 yuan. The waiter greeted him and said

Hello! One ***15 yuan. I looked at the big red ticket in my hand and the milk tea in the hands of my second-rate wife, and it was instantly petrified.

nima, you will die if you don't drink it! Graduation message of information administrator

Graduation message of information administrator

I said to God, let our friendship last forever. God said no, you can be friends for seven days at most, I said yes,

Monday to Sunday. God said no, only four days, I said yes, four seasons. God said no, only three days, I said yes. I said every day of my life!

I like that there is only pure hope in life, and there is only a stable and slow growth; I like the color of

after years of rinsing; Like the songs that are not sung; I prefer to be good friends with you for life!

the rainbow is always behind the storm; Autumn always comes after spring flowers; Loneliness always comes after loneliness; Cherish always after missing; Tears are always < P > after injury; Smile is always behind the rose, and may your good mood always be after dawn every day! !

Years can take away time but can't take away my thoughts about you.

Graduation can take away my thoughts but can't take away the friendship between you and my classmates.

The farther time flies, the deeper my thoughts will be, and the deeper my friendship will be.

Drink a cup of tea and a glass of wine and gently say, Take care of your friends!

You are like a leaf, floating in my palm in the autumn of my life. It's another autumn of parting, with too much < P > disappointment and sadness. Let go of my hand gently, beautiful leaves need to fly after all. System administrator graduation message

Falling down is not a failure, but failing to get up is a failure; Walking is not success, only perseverance is victory.

Ordinary work should be done with extraordinary attitude, simple problems should be decided with comprehensive thinking, today's things should be examined with future eyes, and distant ideals should be realized with realistic efforts.

if you think the work is boring, then the performance will be out of your reach; If you think life is boring, then happiness will have nothing to do with you; If you think reading is useless, then knowledge will be out of your reach; If you think friends are unnecessary, then laughter will have nothing to do with you.

The road of life is a spiral path. Only by strutting high and turning flexibly can we reach the ideal summit.

The sea is beautiful because of the waves, and life is perfect because of setbacks. Learning is deepened by inquiry. The work is wonderful because of innovation.

the glory of life lies not in never failing, but in being able to pounce and rise again and again. -Napoleon

Born as a hero, he died as a ghost. -Li Qingzhao

People's life is to try, and the more they try, the better life will be. -Emerson

Whoever wants dance academy will accomplish nothing; Who can't dominate himself is always a slave. -Goethe

Every man is responsible for the rise and fall of the world. -Gu Yanwu

Suffering is the teacher of life. -Balzac

If there is a fleeting moment between the heavens and the earth, it's just a joke (Zhuangzi): Looking back on my half life, I have been the biggest official, that is, the Q group administrator

1．. My salary is like my aunt, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so.

2. Mom and Dad are really amazing creatures. They believe all the rumors in the circle of friends, but you can tell them the lies at a glance.

3. The lovely me was long gone, and I was replaced by a more lovely me.

4. It is said that girls are made of water, gentle and won't lose their temper. I feel the same way, but all around me are sprite ingredients, so I have to hold them, don't shake them, don't break them, or they will easily explode.

5. Life is like an angry bird. When you fail, there are always several pigs laughing.

6. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, in the end, he killed all the students.

7. Looking back on my life, I have been the biggest official, that is, the QQ group administrator.

8. Today, I played mobile phone to fight the landlord for ten games. After playing the third game, the two men chatted happily. Just when the man asked the woman for QQ, I dissolved the room! Deep hidden achievements and fame.

9. Don't discharge at me. My daughter-in-law has a caller ID.

1. Senior three went to the bank to get a card, and the counter gave me a list. The type of certificate I filled in was: rectangle ...

11. I won't watch you jump into the kang, I will close my eyes.

12. In Chinese class, the teacher asked the whole class to recite the text. After three days, the teacher recited the test. When I was called, I didn't recite it. I crustily said, Teacher, I only recited the first two paragraphs. Can you be tolerant? The teacher said: ok, be tolerant! Don't recite the first two paragraphs, start from the third paragraph.

13. Books are the ladder of human progress, and e-books are the elevator of human progress.

14. Always remind yourself that life is short, and eat, drink, and sleep with those who want to sleep.

15. Ideal is like underwear. You should have it, but you can't prove it to everyone.

16. Being lazy, doing well is called enjoyment; Persistence is called persistence if it is done well; Playing the fool, if done well, is it called being foolish?

17. If you wake up at night, remember to cover your roommate with a quilt.

18. You don't really like me at all. You chat with me every day just to steal my expression pack.

19. Long time no see, I don't know how ugly you are.

2. Just now, a friend told me a touching story that he was blackmailed by a delinquent teenager for 2 yuan in junior high school. He handed over 5 yuan and the delinquent teenager gave him 3 yuan back.

21. The biggest pain in life is that I didn't see the rainbow after the storm, and I caught a cold as a result.

22. Silence is golden. Don't talk to me. I want to save money.

23. I wanted to give life a kiss, but reality slapped me twice.

24. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and all those without backstage were killed by a stick.