I want funny words

Copied! Hope you are happy! ! ! 1. A banana. I was walking on the street. It was very hot, so I took off my clothes and fell down...

2. The puppy said, "My mother calls me puppy." The calf said "My mother calls me Xiaoniu Niu. Xiaolu said, "My mother calls me Xiaolulu."

Chicken said: "Bye~~...I'm leaving first."

3. One day, there was a match walking on the street. As I walked, my head felt very itchy, so I scratched it hard and scratched it. Then I was sent to the hospital and it turned into a cotton swab~ !

4. Asong and Abo chatted about nothing and told each other that time is not forgiving.

Asong: “Recalling my childhood, the happiest thing I ever had was Children’s Day. ”

Abo: “It will be Youth Day in ten years. "

Asong: "Father's Day will be in ten years. ”

Abo: “In a few decades it will be Senior Citizens’ Day. "

Asong: "A few more decades."

Abo: "Qingming Festival.

”

5. When will Taiwan want to be reunified?

When buying instant noodles

6. Once upon a time there was a bird

He would pass by a cornfield every day

But unfortunately

one day there was a fire in that cornfield

All the corn turned into popcorn

After the bird flew over...

I thought it was snowing, so I was so cold...

7. There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day he was killed by a car. When he bumped into it, he yelled: "Quack!" From then on, he turned into a small cucumber!!

8. Are dumplings a boy or a girl?

The answer is boys because the dumplings have a foreskin.

9. A stone and a rice cake were fighting. The stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the sea...

Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private commitment for life, but the boy had to serve in the military. , he made a vow with the girl, gave her a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl today in three years. Then, the ring would be used as a wedding ring. Finally, three years later, the girl has been waiting. The boy could not wait for her. She was so sad that she threw the diamond ring into the sea in despair and left. However, the boy had actually been waiting for the girl. However, the girl misunderstood the date of the date, so she became forever. Regretful. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later, the boy went fishing, guess what he caught?

rice cake!!!

10. The big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!!!" Guess what happened?

As a result, the big bad wolf ate the lamb.

11. Two tomatoes were crossing the road, and a car was passing by. One of them couldn’t dodge and was crushed, and the other was crushed. A tomato pointed at the squashed tomato and laughed: Dig hahaha, tomato sauce...

12. A buck walked, faster and faster, and finally it turned into Highway (Deer)!!!!

13. There is a candy that makes your legs weak when walking, do you know why? Because it is a gummy candy

14. Which two vegetables use the same brand of mobile phone?

Green vegetables and radishes each have their own sweetness

15. Xiaohong asked: When stirring coffee, do you use your right hand or your left hand

小红 Mei said: Right hand

Xiao Hong said: Oh, you are so awesome, you are not afraid of being burned, just like me, I use a spoon

16. Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica? What?

Because it’s cold there…

17. There was a polar bear and a penguin playing together. The penguin plucked out its fur one by one. Afterwards, he said to the polar bear: "It's so cold!"

After hearing this, the polar bear also pulled out the hairs on his body one by one, turned to the penguin and said: "It's really cold!"

18. There was a fat man...

Jumped from the top of the 20th floor...

The result became...

< p>Damn Fatty!!

19. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met on the street. Why didn’t they say hello? (Assuming they can talk)

Because...

Because\

Because they are not familiar with each other

20. One person scolds another person: "I really want to be cruel I'll spit a bunch of shit in your face!"

21. I remember when a buddy in our dormitory snatched other people's steamed buns to eat. While eating, he said: This stuff is only good for stuffing in the butt.

22. I remember when I was a child, the primary school teacher scolded a student: "I'll kick you out with one slap!" We wanted to laugh but didn't dare.

23. Several of our middle school classmates once went out on bicycles. One classmate kicked the feet of another fatter classmate and wanted to scold him. He said: I stretched out a pig's trotter. A flying kick...

24. A girl in our dormitory fiddled with another girl's bangs: Look at this mess, it looks like a dog's paws have gone through it.

25. Someone in the dormitory drank someone else’s boiling water and jumped up because it was so hot. He even yelled: **, it’s so hot that even a pig can’t stand it...

26. When netizens saw the above content, they laughed wildly and said, "That's it? It can only amuse those lazy pigs who read the post but don't reply.

”

27. There was a polar bear who had to wear sunglasses to see because the snow was so harsh.

But he couldn’t find the sunglasses, so he crawled over with his eyes closed. I crawled and searched on the ground, crawling and crawling until my hands and feet were dirty.

I put on my sunglasses and looked in the mirror. Discovery: Oh, it turns out I am a panda

28. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid boy? Dad said: "Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy?" "

29. One day, Zorro went to his mistress's house for a tryst. The mistress asked Zorro: "What if my husband comes back?"

" Zorro said: "It's okay, if your husband comes back, I will jump out of the window, and my horse will pick me up below. "

The mistress said: If you hear three knocks on the door, it means that my husband is back.

Zorro said: I know.

After a while , it was raining. Suddenly there were three knocks on the door. It was too late, but it was too late.

Zorro jumped out of the bed, and in a blink of an eye, he was already out of the window. Jump out. When the mistress saw that Zorro had left, she went to open the door.

She saw a horse standing in front of the door and said to her: "Tell Zorro that it's raining outside. I'm in the corridor." Wait for him. "

30. Cucumber cried in love, and Eggplant comforted her: "Love is not only sweet, but also intoxicating, and heartbreaking. Just shed tears. well! Who made you fall in love with onions?

31. Wife: I am so blind that I will only marry you if I step on shit.

Husband: I am so blind that I will only marry you if I step on shit. Shit: I'm so unlucky! As I lay there, I was stepped on by both of you

32. There was a fish that swam and swam~~~~and then it drowned

33. The pig went to a job fair to recruit people. The reporter asked: What do you know?

Pig replied: I can do everything except two things!

The recruiter immediately beamed with joy: Then tell me what two things you can’t do?

The pig patted its chest and said: It won’t do this, it won’t do that either!

34. There was a piece of candy that walked and walked in the ice and snow, so it turned into a rock candy.

35. A: Do you want to hear me tell you a dirty joke?

B: Okay, tell me!

A: But I want to skip this yellow part?

B: Okay...

A: Skip, skip, skip. Finished.

B:....

< p>36. In a certain hospital, a doctor carelessly wrote "anal inflammation" on the patient's medical record instead of "anal speech." The director was very angry after reading it, and marked it clearly on the medical record: bullshit. Haha

37. The Japanese entered the village, captured Liu Hulan, and asked her:

Tell me! Who is a member of the Communist Party!

Liu Hulan said righteously:

My uncle is a member of the Communist Party! My uncle (is) a member of the Communist Party!

In this way, a hero is born

38. A joke told by Faye Wong:

A woman went to have her fortune told, and the fortune teller said: "Miss, your fortune is No. You have something ominous about you."

Miss: "Then can I take off my bra?"

"No! Even if you take it off, you can't escape. Two big waves in life."

39. Once my sister nestled in my arms and asked me affectionately: "Tell me, what are you thinking about now?" I teased her: "I thought the same thing as you!" I heard a "pop" sound, and her sister waved her hand and gave me a slap: "Dirty!"

40. One day, Hong Bean Cake was in a car accident. He died before The last thing he said was: "...Ah! So I'm the one making bean paste!"