I am a joke. Guan is my son.

1, my son invited some classmates to play at home. As an enlightened parent, I regard them as friends, chat with them about games and life.

Later, when I went out to buy food, I heard someone outside the door say, "Your father is really something, and he is finally willing to leave."

2. Just looking through my son's homework, there is a topic that requires "one side". . . "Make sentences.

He wrote: A man and a woman are fighting, and I don't know who to help, because one side is my father and the other is my mother. . .

3, see more relatives at home, eat at night, daughter crazy: you two acting really well! My father's relatives praised my mother, and my mother's relatives praised my father, just like a model couple. I just want to ask, why do you both want me to wash dishes when there are no guests at home?

Walking the dog downstairs, a little girl ran to the dog and asked me, "Aunt, can you touch the dog?"

Me: "Call Sister!"

Little girl: "Aunt, can you touch your sister?"

I # $% ~ # @

My daughter-in-law went to work today, so I took my daughter with me.

After chatting for a while, someone began to show off their wealth, and all the good guys were showing off their watches.

This is written in Rolex, more or less tens of thousands, and that is written in limited edition.

My daughter replied, your watch is not as good as my father's. My father's watch can make phone calls and take pictures.

Me. . . . .

6. Pour water for my son in the morning: Look, this cup is hot water and that cup is cold water, so you can't drink it. You should pour two glasses of water together to neutralize them and turn them into warm water to drink.

Before going to bed at night, I complained that the thick quilt was a little hot and the thin quilt was a little cold in this weather. . .

The son immediately said: I know! That night, cover both the thick quilt and the thin quilt, which neutralizes it, just right!

7. Father: "Do you really have children?"

Daughter: "Yes, the doctor told me."

"Who is the father of the child?"

"I don't know, the doctor didn't say."

. . .

8. A person has a toothache, but he is afraid that it will hurt even more if his tooth is pulled out. ...

So I have been afraid to go to the dentist. ....

But this time he really can't stand it. ...

So I got up the courage to go to the dentist. ........

But when he saw the pliers in his mouth ... he was too scared to let the doctor do it! ! ! ! ! !

So the doctor asked his assistant next to him to get whiskey and give him a glass ... and then asked him:

Do you have the courage now? He answered honestly: no! !

So I gave him a second cup ... a third cup ... and so on! ! !

The dentist asked him: how is it now ... is it full of courage! ! ! !

The patient straightened his chest and said, now I want to see who dares to move my teeth!