A selection of interesting English jokes?

Folk jokes are a popular folk narrative type, which is rich in materials and has a wide practical basis. I carefully collected interesting English jokes for everyone to enjoy and learn!

About funny English jokes 1

Gates of Heaven

A man came to the gate of heaven, waiting to be accepted. St Peter is reading through this big book to see if this guy's name is written in it. A few minutes later, St. Peter closed the book, frowned and said, "Sorry, I didn't see your name written on the book."

"How new is your copy?" He asked.

"I download it every ten minutes," replied St. Peter. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I've always been that stubborn person. I didn't shout to God until my death was internal, so my name may not have reached your copy. "

"I'm glad to hear that," Peter said, "but while we are waiting for the update, can you tell me a really good thing you did in your life?"

The two guys thought for a moment and said, "Well, once, I was driving on the road and saw a large group of cyclists harassing the poor girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, they were there, and about 20 people were torturing the poor woman. I was furious, got out of the car, grabbed a tire pry bar from the trunk and walked up to the leader of the gang. He is a big man; 6 feet 4 inches tall, 260 pounds, wearing a leather jacket with rivets and a chain running from nose to ear. When I walked to the leader, the cyclists formed a circle around me and told me to get out of here, or I was next.

"So I tore off the chain on the leader's face and hit him on the head with a tire crowbar. Then I turned around and shouted to the others, "Let go of this poor innocent girl! You are all a group of sick and crazy animals! Go home before I really teach you a painful lesson! "

St. Peter was deeply moved. He said, "Wow! When did this happen? "

"About three minutes ago."

About funny English jokes II

Happy sinner

As soon as she entered the confessional, a young woman let slip and admitted, "My boyfriend made love to me crazily last night-seven times."

The priest thought for a long time, and then said, "Take seven lemons and squeeze them into a cup, and then drink it."

The young woman asked, "Can this wash away my sins?"

The priest said, "No, but it will wipe the smile off your face."

About funny English jokes 3

A religious bear?

In the forest, a hunter suddenly met a huge bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear failed. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.

The hunter ran, ran and ran until he came to the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes are slim. Seeing no way out of trouble, and the bear approaching quite quickly, the hunter knelt down, opened his arms and shouted, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religious beliefs! "

The sky is getting dark and there is lightning in the air. Just a few feet away from the hunter, the bear suddenly stopped and glanced around, confused.

Suddenly, the bear looked up at the sky and said, "Thank God, thank you for giving me the coming food ..."

About funny English jokes 4

You got what you asked for.

The lady approached a priest and told him, "Father, I have a question. I have two talking female parrots, but they only know one thing. " "They just said,' Hey, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun? "

"It's terrible!" The priest shouted, "but I have a solution to your problem." Bring your two talking female parrots to my house, and I will put them with the two talking male parrots I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrot will teach your parrot to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrot will learn to praise and worship God. "

"Thank you!" The woman responded.

So the next day, the lady came to the priest's house with her female parrot. The priest's two male parrots are praying in a cage with rosary beads.

The lady put her female parrot and male parrot together, and the female parrot said, "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun? "

A male parrot looked at another male parrot and said loudly, "put the beads away." Our prayers have been answered! "

About funny English jokes

Four Catholic ladies

Four Catholic ladies have coffee together. The first one told her friend, "My son is a priest. When he walked into a room, everyone called him' father'. "

The second Catholic woman chattered, "My son is a bishop. Every time he walks into a room, people will say,' Your Majesty'. "

The third Catholic woman said * * * ugly, "My son is a cardinal. Every time he walks into a room, people will say,' Your Eminence'. "

The fourth Catholic woman sipped coffee silently. The first three women gave her this subtle "hmm ..."? "

She replied, "My son is a beautiful, 6' 2" tall and strong stripper. When he walks into a room, people will say, "Oh, my God …". "