What jokes make you laugh out of breath?

It's very cold. Let me tell some jokes to my friends. After listening to the joke, I may laugh a few times, and my friend will suddenly feel warm.

[[Two jokes about mosquitoes]]

(1) Let mosquitoes kill you tonight.

The temperature in the south is high and the climate is humid. So every hot night, mosquitoes fly around in droves and people bite and bite. In order to prevent mosquito bites, people have to hang mosquito nets, drive mosquitoes out of the tent with a sunflower fan when sleeping, and put down the left and right mosquito net doors, so that mosquitoes can't enter the tent, and people can lie in the tent and sleep peacefully.

It is said that a couple had a big fight at home after dinner because of some trivial things. After the quarrel, my husband squatted outside the door alone, smoking pot after pot. His wife Yunu wanted to go to bed early, so she used a sunflower fan to catch mosquitoes in the tent. Suddenly, she had a bad idea and said to herself, "I'll sleep in the east tonight and let that damn fool sleep in the west." I only catch mosquitoes in the east, put them in the tent door in the east, and let all mosquitoes fly to the west to kill the damn fool. "

To dispel my hatred. I want to just put down the tent door in the east and the tent door in the west. She really didn't let go, and some gloated and went to bed.

(2) Fools mend mosquito nets

Hot nights are really annoying. As long as there is a hole as big as mung bean in the mosquito net, mosquitoes will get into the tent and bite people.

There is a fool whose mosquito net has many holes, the big ones are as big as copper coins and the small ones are as big as mung beans. Every night, he is bitten by mosquitoes and can't sleep at night. There are many red spots on his face that have been bitten by mosquitoes. When the fool's father saw it, he taught him to say, "Cut the paper into pieces, cover it with rice paste, and cover the hole in the mosquito net so that mosquitoes can't get into the account." The fool cut many pieces of paper according to his father's words and pasted the hole in the account with rice paste. But he only sticks holes, not holes as big as copper coins. Dad asked him strangely, "Why only stick small holes instead of big holes?" "The fool said," The mosquito just got into the hole, so it needs to be pasted, because there is no mosquito as big as a copper coin to drill a hole as big as a copper coin! So don't post it. "Dad listened to, in distress situation.

These jokes definitely make you laugh.