The shortest and funniest joke

1. What if I'm hungry? Have a hot pot rinse! What if you are thirsty? Go to the seaside! What if there is no money? Find a fool to cheat! What if you have no guts? Find bin Laden to practice! What if I miss you? Look at the pigsty!

2. I ran into you, and I was at a loss. I can't avoid your affectionate eyes. I know your heart. I ran as fast as I could, but you followed me closely. I cried, "Whose dog is nobody's business?"

3. Measure the window and the bed. Jump on the bed to measure the window and lean against the wall to measure the bed. The wall is longer than the bed, the bed is longer than the window, the window is longer than the bed, and the bed is longer than the wall, so the wall is longer than the bed. If you don't read well, you will hit the wall.

4. Experts have recently invented a multi-purpose computer disk, which is called a floppy disk when it is soft, a hard disk when it is erect, and a compact disk when its coat is stripped off.

5. Send you the zodiac: I wish you smart as a mouse, strong as an ox, bold as a tiger, cute as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, gentle as a sheep, naughty as a monkey, beautiful as a chicken, loyal as a dog and long as a pig.

6. If a star falls and hits your head tonight, please don't worry. This is a gift from my fairy brother, and you will live a carefree and happy life from now on, because-you are stupid.

7. A drop of water is small in the ocean and great in the desert; The red-crowned crane is small in the crane group and great in the chicken group; You are small in the crowd and great in the pigsty!

8、i noh ss! W I, you must not understand, stupid, boy! The phone is upside down!

9. I am a lonely tree. I have stood by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting for loneliness, just because one day when you pass by me, I will fall for you. If I don't smash you, it will be in vain.

1. oh! It's snowing I really want to become a snowflake and fly into your arms. I flew into your collar, into your cuffs, into your ... Why didn't you zip it!

11. You and I are both angels with one wing. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. It is said that people came to this world to find the other half. I finally found you after all kinds of hardships. Shit! Only to find that our wings are on the same side.

12. When you are in a bad mood, you can look in the mirror and say to yourself, "I am beautiful, I am really beautiful" so that you will feel better! ! But don't do this kind of thing often, because it is not good to lie often.

13. In my eyes, you always look so carefree, you always enjoy eating, and you always sleep soundly. . . I really envy you. Sometimes I think it's good to be a pig.

14. You are the sun in my heart, but it's raining. You are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; You are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it has bloomed; You are the Chang 'e in the sky, but it's a pity that your face landed first ...

15. It's just a gust of wind, but it's so eternal, just a dream, but it's so real. You bow your head and say nothing, but I can't calm down. I finally can't help but say to you: Let me know the next time you fart!

16. I saw you that day, in the supermarket! You quietly put your hand on the barcode scanner, and the screen shows: 8 yuan the trotter. Do you think the machine is broken? Look over your face, and the screen shows 5 yuan, the pig's head!

17. Yesterday, I dreamed of you. Really, the sky was so quiet, the sun was so bright, and the sea was so boundless. You stood by the blue sea, and I stabbed you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard, his shell is quite hard!

18. Your quality is as strong as plum blossom; My personality is as subtle as a glacier; You have a convincing connotation; You have the coolness that makes people dump; So we respectfully call you "Mei Chuan Inner Cool"!

19. Don't move! Robbery! All hands up! The man stands on the left, the woman stands on the right, and the pervert stands in the middle, hey! I'm talking about you, pretending to look at your mobile phone!

2. Do you have a TV? Watch CCTV1. The White House was bombed, and the whole building collapsed. The police have blocked the whole of Washington, 19 people were killed, 32 injured and 11 missing. . . One person was deceived!

21. The first time I saw you, I said to myself: You are the goal I want to strive for in this life. I want to pursue you and hug you. I want to announce: I love you ... RMB!

22. I want to see the sea with you but I can't grasp the unpredictable future; I want to climb the mountain with you, but I am full of confusion about my ideal; I want to wander with you but I can't get to the paradise of happiness; I wanted to go shopping with you, but the police refused. He said, Don't walk the dog!

23. Urgent reminder: Look at your left, and then look at your right. Please be careful of a psychopath who just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with a mobile phone.

24. I told my mother that I like you very much and want you to accompany me day and night. Do you know? Through this period of communication, I found that I can't live without you now. But my mother refused. She said, "Pigs are not allowed at home"

25. Frankly speaking, I like you very much. I am fascinated by your eyes, walking posture, happy expression, coquetry cuteness and even the way you sleep! But what annoys me most is that you don't catch mice, and you always lose hair!

26. One day, we came to a wishing well. I bent down and made a wish and threw a coin into the well. You wanted to make a wish, but when you bent down, you accidentally fell into the well. I was shocked and muttered to myself: That's really clever!

27. When we were young, we had no guesses. I sang and you danced. I could sing 2 songs and you could dance 2 dances, so people affectionately called me 2 songs and you 2 dances.

28. Do you know why you and I are destined for each other in this life? In fact, we knew each other thousands of years ago, and it was also spring. You chased me for a long time, leaving your teeth marks on me, which made an eternal story. My name was Lv Dongbin at that time.

29. Dreaming about God, he said that he could grant me one wish. I took out my globe and said that I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult. Let's change it. I took out your photo and said I wanted this to be beautiful. He thought deeply and said, Take the globe and I'll see it again!

3. When you wake up, there is a mosquito lying beside your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you, which says: I struggled all night, but I couldn't pierce your face. Your cheek is so thick that I have no face to live in this world! Lord ~ forgive him! I committed suicide.

31. Hello, this is Information Station 168. Your friend ordered a power train "Dang" as a friendship gift for you. Please hit the washbasin with your head next. Do you hear "dang"? Ok, the song order is over!

32. Are you in love? Happy! Spend a lot of money from now on! Get married! Cool! Someone is in charge from now on! Divorced! Be free! Sex costs money! Aids! Be silly! Lie in bed and die!

33. Don't be crazy with me! Easy to die! Don't pretend with me! Easy to get hurt! Beat you up! No one! You can't be singled out! I'll beat you into Zhang Haidi! Or beat you into a mummy! Give you some face! Beat you to death.

34. People are really tired when they are alive! Standing thinking about sleeping, waiting in line when getting on the bus, unrequited love is really painful, eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, working is very tired, robbery is not < P > good, you have to pay taxes when you earn money, and even you have to pay for sending a text message to the pig!

35. You are cool, you are cool. You drink water in the reservoir, sleep in the ancient tomb, have waterfalls in your mouth, and your limbs are like sleepers. You think you are a Diao Chan Lu Bu, but you are actually an Antarctic native.

36. I admire you like a raging river, and the Yellow River is flooding out of control ...................................................................................................................................................