Will the shadow of childhood really accompany you all your life?

Lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives.

Freud, a famous psychologist and founder of psychoanalysis, believes that personality is stereotyped at the age of five, and the unhappy and irrational state we show in adulthood has a reason to follow in childhood.

When I was a child, I was chased by dogs, bitten by snakes and scolded by my parents. When we grow up, our behavior and personality defects show the shadow of childhood.

There is a hot question in Zhihu: Will the shadow of childhood really accompany you all your life?

I selected several cases, hoping to inspire parents.

If you wait, you will be scolded immediately.

Once I had hot pot rice with my classmates and accidentally knocked over a plate of beef venetian blinds. She suddenly turned blue with fear, stood there and dared not move, losing all her reaction ability in an instant. The students were shocked by her reaction and asked her what was wrong and whether she was uncomfortable.

When she suddenly realized that she had grown up, it didn't matter if she knocked over something, and no one would scold her severely at all. At that moment, she just sat there crying.

Because she finally knew why she stood there motionless, it turned out that she was waiting, waiting for her physical conditioning to tell her: you wait, you will be scolded soon.

A child who is threatened to grow up by this sentence is like a frightened bird, shaking at the slightest sign of trouble. The parents who said this never thought that this sentence would accompany her all her life.

Look, just count the ugliest photos she took.

It was probably a summer vacation, when my parents took us to the zoo.

Before I went, my mother bought me new clothes, which were much better than those brought by my hometown. Besides, my pants are a little big, and my mother bought me a belt. After my mother helped me fasten my belt, my parents and my grandmother praised my clothes for looking good. I felt embarrassed at the time. Maybe I owe my beauty to the belt, so I moved the button sample of the belt a little bit to keep the button in front. Later, my mother called me stupid ... Of course, that's not the point.

The point is that when we were in the zoo, we took a lot of photos. When we came home and exposed them, we gathered together and looked at them. My mother suddenly pointed to my photo and said, look, just count the photos she took as the ugliest.

Maybe you don't think it's a problem to talk casually. I just happen to be serious. That sentence is engraved on my mind.

The consequence of that sentence is that from then on, I don't like taking pictures, even afraid of taking pictures, and I feel inferior. Even I often dislike my face and my looks. Until now. So occasionally I feel sad, sad and uncomfortable because of this inexplicable heart.

I really don't wonder why children take what adults say casually to heart, because they care enough about your evaluation of him.

Never eat apples again

I remember when I was a child, my mother paid welfare in the factory. It's two apples. That was more than nine years ago. I like apples very much. I was at home during the summer vacation, so I took one to eat.

One didn't eat two. My mother didn't count enough when she came home, so she yelled at me hysterically, said something ugly, and hit me with a hanger.

At that time, I was about 10 years old and never ate apples again. Because as soon as I picked up the apple, I remembered the previous scene.

I can't figure out why children can't eat apples when they have them. Even if it is expensive, give it as long as the child wants to eat; If the apple is for someone, then tell me clearly in advance, not beat and scold. Is there only one way for children to do wrong? In fact, it is parents who should reflect. There are not enough apples. Just buy two more.

She may never treat her daughter like her mother again, but her mother's influence on her is as deep as a thorn in her heart.

Thinking of "A Wonderful Story"-Bai Bangni sighed: "How much sweetness does a person with a lot of bitterness need to fill it?" Xu said, "You are wrong. There are many bitter people in your heart. Just a little sweetness can fill them. "

The purpose of writing this article is not to say how hateful parents are, nor to say how "stingy" children are, or even that parents care about a sentence they didn't mean to say for so long.

It's just that people are strange, and you don't necessarily remember all their goodness; Remember all the things against him.

In fact, my family also has it, and my parents' education is rude. I just want to remind other parents that their words and deeds should consider their children's feelings.

Never thought the child was young, how could he remember? Because it is often not the society, the workplace or others who can easily crush people, but what we call a safe haven.

Children are often the most helpless people, that is, the closest person, that is, you.