A joke about stealing your clothes.

The name of this cross talk is Thief Talk. It is one of the representative works of Zhang Shouchen, a senior crosstalk performer. Mr. Hou once performed the counterpart of this joke. The whole paragraph reads as follows:

Did the thief talk? The thief entered the room, and while he was asleep, he easily got lost. People have been sleeping, and he is anxious in the room: "I said, why don't you sleep?" I always steal when I sleep! "There is no such person.

There were thieves in the old society, but now there are no thieves. No thieves, but no thieves. Be careful with the doors and windows when you sleep. I'm not responsible for letting me lose things if you don't pay attention! "Zhang Shouchen said there was no thief, I lost something!" I don't care about this. In any case, we should be careful. When to pay attention! It's raining and windy, so pay special attention to sleeping. This rain, hey, Li Hua! "Well, it's raining outside. It's quite noisy. Please bear it indoors. Go to bed early and be cool! " I slept soundly, and when I woke up, I saw that everything was gone-be careful when it rains.

The wind is strong, there is movement outside, and there is a loud clap of hands. Someone is coming down. Everyone in the room thinks so: what blew it away? Do not go out. Not going out? Lost something!

"The lamplighter didn't sleep" and "Cough can lead to weakness". How do you say this? When there is movement outside, this guy in the room coughs and the thief won't leave! "Cough will make you feel weak." He knows you are timid. There is movement outside, so you cough in your room. In fact, you told the thief, "Stop joking. I am timid. I went to bed. I don't care if I'm asleep. Everything is yours! " "Wake up, it's all over! There's movement outside. He turned on the light. It's broken! You turn on the light! You are in the light and he is in the dark. He knows you like the back of his hand. How many mouths are there in the room? What precautions are there? As long as there is movement outside, I will tell you a good idea: have a good conversation in the house, stop it, Ben! The switch is off! The thief wiped his head and ran away. He knows you want to know him!

Thieves don't talk, but sometimes they do. This is called talking. Why do thieves talk? Wow, everything is special! One year there was a thief in our family-the man said, "Are there any thieves in your family?" What kind of society does he belong to? This is the year when we mixed noodles in Japan. There are thieves in our house! The man said, "How can you be a thief?" It was different then than it is now. Look at our lives. Take me away from Zhang Shouchen. Now, look at my whole body. I'm full and can go to bed! You can put it on stage in any pocket. As long as you put on this uniform, you can go on stage to meet anyone. A uniform is a kind of clothing. Wow, that's all. Not then. When you wanted to wear such clothes, you could shout under the stage! You must take it. In the old society, we artists had to make a living even if we borrowed a little money! You have to wear several coats in summer, such as silk and silk. Why? Think about it, the last game was poor, and the last game was half played. Look how poor you are! Clean, at least two. In winter, fur coats, coats and otter hats. As soon as I came out, people didn't know what was going on. In fact, I was in a hurry and borrowed another sum of money! Is that a dress? That dress is very useful. This dress has many functions. Where is the distribution? Walking into the street, this is casual wear; Where to go for entertainment, this is dressing up; On the stage, this is clothing; Sleep, this is lying; Dead, just wrapped up, all mine! That's the only one who came out and went in. I was in a hurry at home, so I slept on the kang, but I was not allowed!

This thief has a crush on me. "I'm not afraid of thieves stealing, but I'm afraid of thieves thinking"! "Zhang Shouchen must be very rich; If he is not rich, can he take out his fur coat, overcoat and otter hat? " Where did he know that? Wow, we live in a room at home. There are four empty corners in the room. If you get a kang mat, you can sleep under pressure, and you don't even have to lie down! I am my body. I'm all finished; My woman is not her body-cotton trousers, cotton-padded jacket, big cotton gown, all collapsed! I don't even have a pillow. I have a pair of boots under my pillow. I have one, and so does my woman. She must wear my woman's boots. Why? Her socks have no soles! It's too difficult.

Hey, thief! How do I know there are thieves? We live in the north room with a kang behind the mountain and sleep with our heads facing the door. I, wearing a hat and a belt, used to be very cold! In the middle of the night, I felt a cool breeze blowing on my forehead. I opened my eyes and looked. I squatted in and closed the door again. I knew it was a thief, but I didn't shout, because what didn't shout? When I shouted back, he scared the thief into cowardice and gave me a guy in his hand. What a libel! I have nothing to lose anyway. Have you touched it in the room? If you leave, it's over without me. I just looked at him, and he came to touch me. When I touched my body, I couldn't take it off, and I woke up when I pulled my hat! Actually, I woke up early! Boot head, where is the pillow! My woman is also like that. There is a kang mat on the kang. Still moved, I said to myself: aren't you going? It's over when you leave. I can't sleep well until you leave! He groped around and touched the southwest corner. You scared me! What's going on here? Southwest corner wow, that's my deposit, that's my grain counter, and there's a jar with more than 40 kilograms of rice in it. I thought you couldn't buy rice when you were in Japan. You don't gain 40 pounds if you ask others. I think so: there is nothing wrong. He can never take the jar home. Even if the jar contains 100 kilograms of rice, it will be silly. Secondly, he will commit a crime when he walks into the street. More than half of thieves are superstitious, and thieves don't leave empty. Good luck-take them and go. Grasping a handful is to boil a bowl of porridge, and you can't even eat dry rice. Why should I offend you? If you don't care about me, it's over!

I saw where he was. When I touched it, it was a jar. I put a cup of straw pot cover on the head cover and put the pot cover on the ground, feeling that there is rice in it. I said to myself, won't you catch some? He stood in front of my eyes and bent down to think of an idea. Thieves can be cruel, cruel thieves! His idea was so destructive: he took off his two cotton-padded jackets, took off his cotton-padded jacket and spread it on the ground, holding the jar again. I looked at it and said to myself, Good boy, you are going to lose! You mean to spread the cotton-padded jacket here, pour the jar back and forth there, leave me at most four and a half pounds at the bottom of the jar, and you will take it all. I'm sorry about that! As soon as he laid the cotton-padded jacket and hugged the jar, my hand came down the edge of the kang and grabbed the coat collar. When I pulled it up, it was under me. I like it. Well, I have a mattress under me, and it's up to you!

He doesn't know wow, take this jar and bump it on my head. I am happy to say, boy, you can't take it away! Drink some water when I eat! He put the empty jar there again, and he touched it-he touched the big shirt, and as soon as his sleeves were closed, he left! I didn't touch it, but I touched the ground. He wondered: is this a place where the room is half stretched? Another touch: "Huh?" He is making noise! I didn't even touch this head. "Huh?"

He gave a "well" and a "yi", which was quite loud. My woman woke up. She was timid and kicked me straight: "Get up, get up, there is a thief!" "

I lost my temper. I said, "Go to sleep, there are no thieves."

Say there is no thief, and the thief will answer the question:

"There is no thief? There is no thief, where is my cotton-padded jacket? "

Mp3 download link:/dongman/luntan _ yym/comicdialogue2/thief.mp3.