[Help] Please help me collect some English jokes, idioms, and short stories, thank you!

Wow...are you from our school?!! We are also 4. This homework is wrong~!

I found 5 jokes~:

< p>I'm Trying to Stop It

"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"

"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to stop it."

"Boy, why did you plug your ear with cotton? Is it infected?"

" p>

"No, teacher. But you said yesterday that the knowledge you told me goes in one ear and comes out the other, so I have to block it in."

"I 'm sorry, Madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth."

"Twenty d ollars! Why, I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work !"

"Yes, but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office."

"I'm sorry, madam, I have to charge 20 to extract your child's teeth. "$20! Why? It's only $4 as promised."

"Yes, but your child scared the other four patients." Ran away. ”

TWO: Teacher: We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cause it to contract. Now, can anyone give me a good example?

John : Well, in the summer the days are long, and in the winter the days are short.

Teacher: We all know the principle of thermal expansion and contraction. Now, who can give me an example?

John: Well, the days are longer in summer and shorter in winter.

Teacher: Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go slow".

Teacher: Why are you late every morning?

Tom: Whenever I pass the corner of the school, I see a sign that says "School----Slow Down".

Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that I have ever seen."

" Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ." the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

For my use

One elephant to one A little mouse said: "You are undoubtedly the smallest and most useless thing I have ever seen."

"Please say it again and let me write it down." said the mouse. "I'm going to tell it to a flea I know.

Idiom: A good winter brings a good summer. Auspicious snow heralds a good harvest. A good tongue is a good weapon. A sharp tongue is a sharp A good tale is none the worse for being twice told. A good name keeps lustre in the dark. A good name is sooner lost than won. .A good name is easier to lose than won. A good name is better than riches. A good medicine tastes bitter. A friend is best found in adversity. A friend in need is a second self. A friend in need is a friend indeed.

No wisdom like silenceNecessity knows no lawMany hands make light workDon?t play the goatThey're a barrel of laughsThis movie was just a hype Hype the shortest straw The news came as a bombshell Feeling low These are more than old wives? tales That'll save your skin Every bad has some good Some things rub them the wrong way Stay put to fly off the handle He is really on the ball Got savoir faire He has never rested on his laurels Jump down someone's throat put a roof over one's head faced the music blinded with science Off one's rocker lack Reasonable old goat old-fashioned (usually refers to the elderly) Welcome! It’s lovely to see you welcome! So happy to meet you! What’s gotten into you? What’s wrong with you? Coffee kept them on the go; Shine on aside; Monkey (around) with I think I get the drift; get the drift The meeting will start at 10 o? clock sharp The meeting starts at ten o'clock on time; like taking candy from a baby to describe something as easy as a piece of cake Home is where the heart is Home is where the heart is From the word go From beginning to end; They help make it less of a dog?s life They help Improve life; Half-baked Immature bend the rules at times Spill one's guts Tell the truth For heaven?s sake! God! An exclamation expressing surprise or anger Fly-by-night Unreliable, untrustworthy Nervous wreck Nervous, excited Pull through to escape from danger Thumb through Hasty reading Lose one's shirt worthless Mess around with messing around with; moving around Touch and go, the situation is critical. Handwriting on the wall. Obvious danger. Spread oneself too thin. Mentally exhausted. Run-down. Exhausted.

We look forward to the dawn of better days. Variety is charming. Two of a trade never agree. The sudden news frightened me. He threatened to fire me He threatened to fire me You young devil's spawn! You little devil! It doesn’t listen right It doesn’t sound right; What snacks do you like best? What is your favorite snack? I like raisins and kebabs, pistachio, beef jerky, sunflower seeds, fish jerky fillet. American English "Oh my God" - Oh! boy or Oh! man; "It hurts". The standard American colloquial word is Ouch; If there are people around you who are chattering, you can say "Buzz off". That makes sense, that is understandable; You said it, you are right; I really need to blow off some steam !I have to relieve my stress; take a pissPride feels no cold. If you want to be pretty, you will freeze to death. / An arrogant person does not feel cold, and a pretty person does not wear cotton. Virtue never grows old. Virtue never grows old. Pride feels no cold. If a person wants to be pretty, he will freeze to death. / An arrogant person does not feel cold, and a pretty person does not wear cotton. I am always punctual Don't be so modest I am flattered I am on your side Well, it depends It is up in the That is the latest fashion. He always talks big. He always brags. So far so good So far, so good; Let’s get to the point Let’s get to the point! For the old time sake. Let’s forgive and forget. Let’s forgive and forget.

Knock it off. A close call. Too dangerous/a close call. Neck and neck. It is cool. It is neat. It is righteous. Righteous is less. Use That will be the day. I am having a swell time. If I were in your shoes... If I were you... It is out of the question. Possibly He passed out. He had passed out! ; Not a sound was heard No sound; Don’t panic. Don’t panic! It is a lot of junks. Over my dead body! Don't even think about it! I decline! I got a big kick out of it. Don't try to brainwash me. Don't chicken out, Be a man. You can count on us. You can count on us. His words carry a lot of weight My mouth is watering. Don't dream away your time Cheer up You are a chicken It is nothing to be surprised about What a good deal! In a word, I am tired of everything You asked for it God helps those who he1p themselves God helps those who he1p themselves Help your own people; You set me up! The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself Misfortune might be a blessing in disguise A blessing in disguise

Short story :

"I'm sorry, Madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth."

"Twenty d ollars! Why, I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!"

"Yes, but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office."

"Sorry, Madam, I charge $20 for your child’s tooth extraction.”

“Why? It’s only $4 as promised.”

“Yes, but your child is older. He yelled, scaring the other four patients away.

”

TWO: Teacher: We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cause it to contract. Now, can anyone give me a good example?

John: Well, in the summer the days are long, and in the winter the days are short.

Teacher: We all know the principle of thermal expansion and contraction. Now, can anyone give me an example?

< p>John: Well, the days are longer in summer and shorter in winter.