Joke (Cantonese): It is badly needed there.

When I saw a wild animal lying on the road ahead, I thought, "Yee Yee, Li Ran passed me first. I knocked down an alcoholic. Driver a got off the bus and saw that it was a person. Driver a got off the bus and looked at it, thinking, who ran him over? I want to find the murderer. Driver A will sleep here and watch who ran over me. The man who knocked me down is a murderer! So driver A was sleeping on the road when suddenly a car passed by. Driver B saw a wild cat lying on the road in front of him and thought, "Barry knocked down driver A first. Driver B got off the bus and saw a man, thinking: Who ran over him? Driver b saw a man. Driver b got off the bus and looked at it, thinking, it must be.

The Chaoshan old man is going to return to Shantou by bus after finishing his work in Guangzhou. When he arrived at the station, he couldn't buy a ticket back to Shantou, because he couldn't speak Cantonese and Mandarin, and the conductor couldn't understand what he was saying.

The old man in Chaoshan thought that the hotel had checked out and there was no car back to Shantou. He anxiously read in Chaoshan dialect: "This is terrible! Double-headed death! Double-headed death! "

I only heard the conductor reply in Cantonese: "There is a shuttle bus in Shantou at seven o'clock tonight."

After buying the ticket, the old man suddenly felt anxious. When he wanted to go to the toilet, he found that he didn't bring toilet paper, so he quickly went to the station canteen to buy it. The salesman in the canteen doesn't know Chaoshan dialect, and he doesn't know what the old man wants to buy. He just shook his head and said in broken Mandarin, "Watch your language."

The old man angrily scolded in Chaoshan dialect: "smelly chicken!" "

At this time, the salesman seemed to understand the old man's meaning and asked him in Guangzhou dialect, "Smelly chicken?" (Toilet paper) Do you want to buy toilet paper? "

Recently, a few ghosts appeared in Du Nan, which made people laugh ~ ~ Hong Kong people told the story of Xu Guanwen's ghost horse talk show in Hong Kong. Not just the government, it is objective. In fact, I think the media have played a great role. For example, newspapers used to be newspapers. When you see your name, you will respect your ancestors. If you see your name in the newspaper at home, it means that you are dead, and you will "see the light again" at home. If you don't die, you won't see the light. If you see the light, you will die! It seems that last week, a reporter called me and said, "Michael, I want to ask you a question, but you died before you answered!" " I'm really embarrassed because I'm about to be exposed. You know I eat coffee. Hey, did you rape a Filipino maid in your house? Your best answer is that I will sell more than 100,000 pieces of paper. If your answer is yes, I will write "Xu Guanwen denies raping Filipino maids" in the headline, and I will sell more than 200,000 pieces of paper. "My words:" Sorry, I didn't respond to your question! """Hey, thanks for the sunshine. Listen to my headline "Xu Guanwen refuses to respond to rape of Filipino maids"! Well, as far as the world is concerned,' Well, there are stalks. If so, will it respond? "I said," I'm sorry, I will kill you in the morning! """No, no, no, Michael, you can sell more than half a million pieces of paper every day. If you listen to the headlines of the day, it will become "Xu Guanwen confessed to raping Fei Yong early in the morning"! Everyone said,' Early in the morning, my wife hasn't got up yet! I will sell 600,000 more newspapers. "I said," do you think I can't handle you? I have a unique skill. I will answer you by knowing Lu Xiaolan's head. Are you dead or not? I bought a chicken. I don't even know when she will lay eggs! " ""Wow, this is even more embarrassing, Michael. Listen to my headline: "Xu Guanwen admits not only raping Filipino maids, but also having sex with them". To be honest, Xu Sheng, I asked if you met you. If not, my first question will be:' Do you have any eggs with Filipino maids this week?' You talk nonsense. I heard that the headline of Japanese newspaper was "Xu Guanwen laid eggs with Filipino maids this week", and the whole world said "that was in other weeks!" "

by the way

Teacher: Weizi, you finally came to class! Do you want to go back to school?

Student: Er ... My mother fell down the stairs.

Teacher: Oh, the original department. You went back to school because your mother was injured.

Student: No, it's my dad.

Teacher: Do you understand that your mother fell down the stairs and your father married her?

Student: Because, because my dad has a woman outside.

Teacher: baa! Did you take grandma down the stairs with you?

Student: My mother fell in love with her parents because of fighting, but it was her father who hurt her.

Teacher: Well, you should take Dad to the hospital for class one day.

Student: No, my dad took a woman to the hospital.

Teacher: ... What do you mean by going back to school?

Student: I am a dragon.

Teacher: it was grandma baa who fell down the stairs!

Student: Hey, by the way.

Jiezai: Mom, can you play with mosquitoes at 100? I will buy a game machine.

Jiezai: Well, if you don't buy it, I won't talk about it. Do you know how tired you are today? ? Suddenly, my father talked to the nanny's aunt. When mother heard this, she immediately threw money to Jiezai. )

Mommy: Good boy, if Mommy knows, why don't you tell the nanny?

Someone was sent on duty, and a boy in the alley came in and said, "Uncle policeman, I haven't seen Mommy." The messenger kindly put the child on the bench and comforted him: "Your mother will pick you up soon. I'll buy you an ice cream until mom comes back. " After a while, a teacher's milk entered the room. He looked at the boy on the bench, startled the police and said to him, "I understand that every time I don't buy ice cream, you have to report it."