What joke is funny?

1. Once, my classmate asked me which department another classmate was in in the hospital. I couldn’t remember clearly. I thought it was both internal medicine and acupuncture, so I said she was in the hospital. : From the guilt department. 2. A boy saw his uncle and said, "Buy uncle, two dishes!" The uncle said, "This kid is talking so big, he can't even talk to others!" 3. When I was in school, the secretary of the Communist Youth League couldn't speak very well. When we were in the group, there was only one other girl and me (the kind that were too miserable to watch). When our group secretary presided over the meeting, he said without hesitation: Today is a happy day for two classmates. The rest of the students all burst into laughter -_-0 A semester has passed It was this man who presided over the joining ceremony of another classmate and said that he welcomes classmate XXX to join our mysterious organization... 4. I have a very shy male classmate who went to the cafeteria to have breakfast. The guy at the window Asked him: "What do you want?" He lowered his head and said: "I want...I want...a bun and a bun." The guy stared at him for a long time and said, "What do you want? Say it again?" "I want a steamed bun and a steamed bun... Oh no! A steamed bun and a bun!" FAINT! 5. When I was in college, a classmate and I were arguing about an issue. We were at a disadvantage for a moment. In a hurry, he slapped the table and stood up and shouted: You are talking nonsense. , I’m not stupid! 6. A buddy of mine went on a blind date. When he came back, everyone asked him how he was. The buddy said: This girl is really rough. At lunch time, two people entered a beef ramen restaurant. The girl said loudly to the chef: Hey, give me 2 bowls of ramen~~~ The chef said: Do you want to eat? I poop when I eat. My buddy quickly said: "One bowl, you can just pull one bowl." It is said that everyone in the restaurant laughed loudly~~ 7. Once my sister introduced a song to me. She said it was called "Girl's Underpants". I was surprised. I took the CD and took a look. It was "Girl's Underwear". "Prayer"... 8. The primary school teacher "soothed" our nervousness before the open class and said: "Don't be nervous, everyone. Don't look around when you get to class. Not all people sitting in the audience have two faces." A nose is like an eye!" 9. In English class, the teacher said "good morning, teacher" and the students said "good morning, student". The whole class was stunned... ^_^ 10. When I was young, I usually sold popsicles on bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: "The new ice cream is hot." (I guess my aunt used to sell fried cakes and dough sticks) 11. One of my classmates called another friend, and the other friend’s grandfather answered the phone. The classmate didn’t know what he was thinking, so he opened his mouth and said: “Grandpa, this is grandma...” Suddenly I felt No, I hung up the phone with a bang... 12. My sister and I were playing at home when we were young. She pretended to be a chivalrous girl, alertly listening to the outside world, and then said to me with a wary look on her face: "Huh? That's not right. "Big head!" 13. A colleague at work read the newspaper and said that Liu Xiaoqing gave birth to a child before she was married, and her name was Yunyun. We hurriedly took the newspaper to look for him, but he was missing. She came over and pointed it out to us, and at first glance, it was "Liu Xiaoqing made very modern remarks in that era, such as being single all your life, but you can have a child without getting married." 14. In the advanced mathematics class, the teacher was pointing at the blackboard The teacher was writing furiously, and there was a commotion below. The teacher couldn't bear it: "Kids, please lower your voices!" A friend said: "Teacher, you will get used to it gradually!" Teacher faint! 15. The whole high school must wear uniforms, and there are students who are repeating The teacher, who never cared about wearing uniforms, squatted at the door every day to check. One day, the teacher saw this student not wearing a school uniform and asked him why he didn't wear one. This classmate said angrily: My mother is not dead, why did she wear mourning clothes? The teacher sweated to death. 16. This may not be considered a rebuttal: the teacher dragged the class: "I have to say one last thing..." A strong boy said loudly, "Try it." The melons are not sweet!”, the whole place was silent…the teacher’s face turned pale: “…get out of class is over” 17. Our teacher once said during class: “The boss is the boss, the wife is the old woman, the mother. The wife is always with you... …” My deskmate asked the teacher loudly: “Teacher, is that teacher just a wet guy?” The teacher then ran away!! 18. When I was in junior high school, I liked a few boys to flutter butterflies after class (it’s really boring to think about it now), but the result was: The classmate was so excited that when the bell rang, the math teacher called him several times without answering.

After 5 minutes of class, this student ran to the door and shouted a report. The teacher said angrily: "I just call a dog, and it will wag its tail!" The student whispered: "I don't have a tail..." The whole class was furious. Laughing, even the teacher couldn't help it... 19. One of my buddies was asked by the teacher in the advanced mathematics class: "Calculus is a very useful subject. What is our goal in learning calculus?" My buddy: "No cavities!" 20. The teacher in the Chinese class said: "Actually, weasels don't eat chickens. This is what scientists found out through experiments. Once, a chicken and a weasel were locked together. Guess what happened the next day? "The classmate continued: "The chicken is pregnant." 21. The junior high school physics class talked about the use of neon tubes. A fat man in our class stood up in the last row and asked: "Teacher, what should I do if the milk in the neon tube leaks out? "The whole class was silent, and the teacher didn't say anything and kept talking until the end of class. At the beginning of class the next day, the teacher started to get angry with the classmate yesterday, and the whole class became aware of the teacher's reaction speed. 22. The physical education teacher yelled during class: "Turn right, don't look around, and use the corner of your eye to scan the classmates next to you." Someone below whispered: "Only his bladder grows in the corner of his eye." 23. Senior year in high school, The geometry teacher is an old lady who likes to brag and is very annoying. One day in class: "I am very popular in the Municipal Education Bureau. They always invite me to study problems together. Every time I am picked up and dropped off." (Note: This old lady from the south said this deliberately. There is a pause to emphasize the tone). I said, "Three rounds?" The result: I was banned from taking geometry classes. 24. The leaders of the junior high school held a meeting, and the students below were very unconscious and threw tissues all over the floor (the temperature that day was almost 50 degrees.) After the meeting, a leader continued: Students, there are sanitary napkins all over the floor today. The originally unclean floor was messed up, and all the male students stayed to clean it up. The female classmate couldn’t laugh or cry... 25. In a photography class, a classmate photographed two children playing near the fountain. The teacher asked: "What kind of scene is this?" A sentence came from below: "Mandarin ducks playing in the water." Everyone laughed wildly~ ~~~~26. In music class, the teacher does music solitaire, that is, the previous student sings "La" with one tone, and the next student has to repeat the "La" of the previous student, and then sings "La" with another tone. ". There was a boy who was bored and added a word after everyone's "pull" sound, such as "pull wind", "ramen", "poop", etc. Wait until he sang "pu" with a very beautiful tone. , the music teacher looked at him with a smile and said: "Let's see what you can do." 27. In the Chinese class <> teacher: "The above sentences show that it is very steep and straight. Are you a classmate?!" All the boys answered loudly: "Yes!!!" A girl suddenly said: "Then is it safe when taking it?!" This lesson ended with everyone laughing wildly! 28. I think, in our high school Math teachers are the most classic. A girl in my class was sitting in the back row, listening to her Walkman. Her ears were blocked so she spoke loudly. She said to her classmate: "Teacher, come here and tell me." Almost all the students heard it. The teacher was no exception. He looked at the classmate and said: I won't go. 29. At the flag-raising ceremony, the principal made an ideological report: "I am the son of the Chinese people." The students below said "I am the Chinese people"