A brief stand-up comedy

Name: Five Tiger Generals of Shu State.

Characters: Liu Bei, Zhuge Liang, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Zhao Yun, Ma Chao and Huang Zhong.

Scene: Office of Hanzhong Land Unlimited Company

[Office, a sign on the wall: Hanzhong Land Co., Ltd..

[Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang are playing poker.

[Narrator: In the troubled times of the Three Kingdoms, Liu Bei finally won the treasure land of Hanzhong, so he opened a Hanzhong Land Unlimited Company.

I)

Liu Bei (to the audience): Liu Bei, the charming Hanzhong king, is me.

Zhuge Liang (to the audience): I am the innocent and lovely secretary Kong Ming!

Liu Bei: I said piggy, now our Hanzhong Land Unlimited Company has a good performance. Today, we bought N square meters of land and made great contributions!

Zhuge Liang: Mm-hmm.

Liu Bei: Who has made the greatest contribution? ...

Zhuge Liang: Not me. ...

Liu Bei: How presumptuous! You still respect the leader!

Zhuge Liang: Hey! I thought you advocated telling the truth. You didn't see that Trav?

Liu Bei: Shit! We are now in the Three Kingdoms era, where can we tell the truth! In my opinion, I am still the most powerful! Ah! How great I am! I adore myself!

Zhuge Liang: Master, is there a plastic bag?

Liu Bei: Why?

Zhuge Liang: Mom said, don't spit everywhere. ...

Liu Bei: $&; & amp% & amp% & amp$$……

Zhuge Liang: I said, it's still hard for our soldiers. My admiration for them is like a surging river. ...

Liu Bei: Oh? what do you think?

Zhuge Liang: I think five generals should be selected from the soldiers who have rendered meritorious service. As experts with outstanding contributions, they should enjoy the treatment of the Communist Party of China, special allowances, free medical care, big houses and so on. ...

Liu Bei: Save it! I haven't got this treatment yet!

Zhuge Liang: No, Princess, oh no! Master, of course, you are in power as the head of the Five Tigers!

Liu Bei: Impossible! I have all these things!

Zhuge Liang: So, what do you want?

Liu Bei (shyly): I want ... a full set of Barbie dolls ...

Zhuge Liang: (Fall)