Looking for humorous jokes

1. A certain person plays cards every day and doesn’t go home until midnight.

Once, his wife said to him angrily: "I'm warning you, if you do this again, I will take the man home to sleep!"

" It’s up to you! But I also warn you, don’t take my poker friend away.”

2. The wife suspected that her husband was having an affair, so she hired a private detective to follow him. The detective finally figured out the truth. He reported to her: "This afternoon, your husband went to a beauty salon, a fashion store, and a dance hall."

"He must have done something inappropriate..." She Said,

"No! He is following you." He replied.

3. One day, little Lis God saw a short man staring at a huddled hedgehog on the side of the road in a daze.

"What are you studying?" Little Lissian asked curiously.

"I'm thinking that if the hedgehog gene is transferred to me, my wife will not dare to bully me in the future." The man said helplessly.

4. There was a village. They heard that bandits were about to attack, so the villagers hid all the young women in the cellar. A young woman who was trembling and looking around suddenly found an old woman in her sixties or seventies among them.

So, she said to the old lady: "Old lady, you don't have to hide here!" The old lady replied angrily: "How do you talk? There are also old people among the bandits. "Yeah!"

5. The wife brought back a dog, and she decided to name it the same as her husband. Facing his notoriously fierce wife, the husband dared to get angry but did not dare to say anything. He could only say: "Dear, can you think about it? It is not good for you to let this little mangy dog ??have the same name as me. He will make mistakes often in the future. "..."

The fierce wife said: "No, just pay attention to my tone. When I call the dog, my voice will sound very gentle."

6. Wife: Husband, do you remember that last December, you said that you and Lao Wang went carp fishing?

Husband: Of course I remember,…. What's up?

Wife: A carp called at noon today and said that you have become a father...

7. Early in the morning on the first day of the Lunar New Year, the wife suggested to her husband: "Starting from today, we must have a new attitude in the New Year and respect each other. I will get rid of the bad habit of swearing, and you will also get rid of it." You always hit people, okay?"

The husband kept saying yes, and finally added: "From now on, if you curse anyone again, I will beat you up!"

The wife yelled: "You immortal, I think you fucking dare!"

8. At the dance, a woman kept staring at a man not far from her without even blinking. Don't blink.

The man felt a little embarrassed and decided to go over and ask for details. He asked her politely if they had met somewhere before.

"We have never met." She replied very politely, "But you look a lot like my third husband."

"You have been married three times. Married?" he asked. "No! Only married twice."

9. A man had two wives. When he was sixty years old, his hair had turned a lot white, so he asked his two wives to remove it every day. But the eldest wife hated that he had few gray hairs and was afraid that the younger wife would get stuck with the old man, so she deliberately pulled out all the black hair;

The younger wife wanted him to look younger, so she pulled out all the white hair. In less than a month, the man became bald.

10. Wang became the general manager of the company by relying on his wife’s nepotism. One day, he and his wife went to inspect a construction site. Suddenly, a worker wearing a hard hat greeted them and said jokingly to his wife: "Madam, general manager, do you still remember me? We used to date!"

After returning home, Wang teased his wife and said, "Marrying me is a blessing from your previous life! Otherwise, you would have been the wife of a construction worker, not the wife of the general manager."

The wife replied: "Husband! Don't put money on your face. If I didn't marry you, he would have become the general manager of this company."

< p>11. A man came home one day and found his wife cuddling in bed with another man. He flew into a rage, picked up a pistol from a spot and shot his wife to death. Then he ran to a nearby police station and surrendered.

During the trial, the judge asked him: "Why didn't you shoot her lover instead of your wife?"

"I killed her, but she was Just one person." The man explained: "If I don't kill her, I'm afraid I will kill many other people from time to time."