Funny, ambiguous, lack of WeChat, tell me.

1, Dear User: As most of your short messages are sent to the opposite sex, which has caused a very bad influence on society, we have suspended your short message function. Please bring a small bench to the nearby police station to learn stylistic knowledge tomorrow! 2. Confucius, the most holy teacher: after the son fell in love, he said: Love is like a husband! That's all. 3. What happened? I dialed your cell phone just now. After the bell rings, the mobile phone prompts: You are looking for a little silly pig from other places. Please dial the pigsty area first and then the number. I can't believe it! Call again and say: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is being killed! 4, the lover will eventually buckle the meat, and the pig pocket will appear in the lover's eyes. If the relationship is long-term, it is not pork and pork. We want to fly in heaven, two birds become one, and I want to be a pig. There is a saying that I have been afraid to confess. I know I'm poor, but I've always had a crush on you. Now that I finally have money, I can proudly say: boss, I bought that pig head! 6. A girl asked a boy: Who do you think is the class flower in our class? Boy: You are not a class flower, but you are also beautiful. Girl: What do you think I am? Boy: I am the monitor, and you are my girl. Just call it a zebra! 7. It's late at night, the birds are asleep and the mosquitoes are out. I miss you and look forward to you. I'm doomed to insomnia tonight. The dream is lost, and the soul is haunted by it. Why not return the stolen heart? 8. It's nice to think of you. I stuffed a leg of roast lamb in Xinjiang. I miss you very fat, but it's heavy in my heart. Being single is a mountain road, falling in love is a road, and breaking up is a fork in the road. Find a way, marriage is a dead end, divorce is a road, bigamy is a highway, no lover is a dead end, and too many lovers are also dead ends. Hey, which way are you going? 9. Do you want roses? I won't give it to you! Do you want to eat chocolate? I am greedy for you! Want me to kiss you? Beautiful! Oh, honey, don't be angry, I just miss you in Doby! 10, I know! But I can't. This marriage is the biggest arranged by God! Hey, how are you now? You must dump your husband and come with me. 1 1, I have a dream, I really want to be your cup: get up every day and kiss me, take me to work and school, miss me when you are thirsty, hold me in your hand all the time, and love me forever. 12, I miss you, just like a cowherd trying to weave a girl, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice, and I dumped you, just like a monkey breaking corn. 13, I feel that God has hurt me now! Why did God create you and me? Why should we get to know each other instead of combining? 14, how many times have I told you, go to bed early at night and don't go out, but you just won't listen. No, I dreamed again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up! 15, why do women say such a sentence after being injured: find an honest man to get married. . . We honest people provoke whoever we recruit! 16, watt: I stared at the boiling water in the teapot for a long time, and finally understood why love can make people crazy. What is its driving force? 17, send you a bunch of roses to convey your feelings; Give you a big peach blossom, and your fortune depends on it; Send you a bowl of tofu, and laugh after eating! 18, if you want to ask me, how I feel about you: I care about you! If I have to add an adjective to this feeling, it is: I only care about you! 19, if you go to the toilet, I would like to be your toilet paper; If you wake up, I would like to be the' eye droppings' in your eyes; If you are hot to death, I am willing to be the only piece of cloth left on you. Love is a kind of hope. This hope may turn into disappointment. Passion means pain and change. When hope is dashed, passion is over. 2 1, Valentine's Day is coming, whether you are in love with employment or laid off because of lovelorn, whether you change careers or are single and unemployed because of lovelorn, whether you talk about reemployment after lovelorn, I wish you sweet love. 22. Ford: You and your girlfriend went out for a ride by car. I dare ask you, are you driving a Ford? 23. My girlfriend complained that her husband said: When you were in love, you picked me up at the company gate every day, and now you are still at home. The husband replied, I knew this road well before I got married. Now, there is no need to take you away. 24, now you hurry to watch TV CCTV 1, Zhao Benshan was killed, the police blocked the whole northeast, people died, people were injured, people were missing, and people were cheated! I hear you are very clever. Do you know who I am? 25. You are a phoenix flying in the sky. I chased and chased on the ground. Give it a chance! 26.m: Every time I miss you, the star will drop a tear. That's how the ocean was formed. Woman: Every time I think about you, I fart. This is how the ozone layer is formed. 27. When my sister sold you a lovely girl and said good night, I felt that you were different from others in his heart. You deserve it. Spare tire ATM encyclopedia data filtering scanner free mail free photography free logistics free food express. 28. It is my life's fault that I didn't hold your hand. No matter at the ends of the earth or just around the corner, you are the deepest miss and pain in my heart. 29. In the vast sea of people, my heart is broken for you. You seem indifferent, but you make me feel boring. Your indifference makes me afraid to confess, but I can't extricate myself. Now I want you to know that you stepped on my foot. 30. The hot girl called a taxi. Miss, what will you wear in the future? Spice Girl: Red miniskirt! Recipient: Then where to go? Spice Girl: It's thighs! 3 1, I am afraid of getting an electric shock when I see you; I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I think I will cut off the power. Love you is my career, miss you is my career, hug you is my specialty, kiss you is my specialty! As you said, there are no words to express your feelings. It's like something is stuck in my heart. There are only two words, and that is to miss you! Marry me, I will flush your toilet with oil, bathe you with Pepsi, and take you to work with Boeing. Promise me? 34. There is an explanation about meeting called fate. There is a belief in life called samsara. For me, there is a complex called missing! If there is reincarnation, I hope to have you in every life! 35. Feelings are in arrears, love stops, promises are empty, trust is closed, care is not connected, beauty is not in the service area, everything is suspended, and life is completely frozen! 36. Prescription: Valentine's Day SMS; Ingredients: sincerity, sincerity, words; Function indications: enhance the feelings of couples and couples; Shelf life: life; Taboo: never separate; Usage and dosage: once taken, valid for life. 37. Eat tofu once and fall in love later. You can't germinate if you sow in cement. Put on a mask and kiss your head. I haven't seen anyone by texting all the time, so I'm willing to miss someone! I wish you a happy Valentine's Day. It's been a week since I saw your beautiful appearance. It really seems like seven years. In these seven days, your beautiful image appeared in my heart all the time! 39. Love means giving your heart, always paying attention to each other, keeping every smile in mind, and paying no regrets for the person you love. Funny, I miss WeChat. Tell me about 2 1. Smart people gain a lot from other people's mistakes; Fools occasionally benefit from their mistakes; The Kuomintang gained nothing from two kinds of mistakes. 2. When there is no mobile phone, the mobile phone is useless; When you have a mobile phone, it will be useful. 3. The academic performance of foreign students in China is often much better than that of American students who study together. However, ten years later, the scientific research results are much less than others, because American students have active thinking, strong hands-on ability and creative spirit. 4. Wait. May not be easy to get hurt. But it's simple. 5. With you, there will be peace in the world; With you, there will be marriage in the world; With you, life is beautiful; With you, the years are enchanting; With you, there is a girl's day and my blessing. 6, even if no one is watching, we must work hard to grow. Many eyes are hidden where you can't see them. 7, snowflakes flying, ushered in the 20 17 New Year's Day; Open the phone and send a message; Happy new year, always happy and healthy! 20 17 Happy New Year! 8. "Be a man in my next life and marry my favorite girlfriend in my life" 9. It's still that group of people. Once time passes. It becomes vicissitudes 10. There are too many authors in this book. After all, there are too few idiots Who will spend 1 1 like me to write about you who are diligent and say that loving him is just an impulsive love story? 12, don't lose your temper at will, no one owes you. You can forget the past, but you must let go. You don't have that many viewers. Don't be so tired. You will never be as important as you think. 13, the day after my grandmother left, my mother was not at home all day, and my uncle hurried back from Guangdong. 14, is there a moment when you want to turn a second into a lifetime? 15, ask them to bring my deep blessing to my father! Best wishes for a happy birthday! 16, stormy, unwilling to be lonely, life route, fierce competition, hard struggle, firm determination, bold innovation, eclecticism, seeking stability through change, forging ahead, great things can be achieved, and a new atmosphere in the New Year! 17 and ling's smile remain in my memory. 18 She is my best friend. If you don't play with your heart, forgive us for being bored, and then be quiet. She is my family, and she loves me very much. I hope we will never be apart. 99 19, people need to overcome themselves first in the face of difficulties, so that the freezing point in their hearts will melt. Only by defeating yourself can you be reborn. 20. Going back and forth, the road is long; Swim back from it, in the middle of the water 2 1, the autumn water is boundless, which makes me miss you infinitely. You are a fish, I will get drunk in the water; You are water, I will stay on the river bank; You are the river bank, I am Liu Shuyi; You are a willow tree, and I am a breeze. Anyway, I will always rely on you. 22. Make friends with a smile and hold hands happily; Walking with a smile, happiness is coming; Smile and shake hands, always happy; Smile and hug, good luck comes; On World Smile Day, I hope you live a happy life with a smile. 23. If the director lets Big Wolf eat a sheep, the ratings will definitely soar. 24. Some girls' love is doomed to be a flower that can't bloom in summer. 25. Sometimes you become my habit. Even if I don't chat, I have to see your avatar to feel at ease. Even if I don't talk, I have to see you in my chat list to feel at ease. 26. I like the bad guys who lock the door, and I don't like the bad guys who make money by locking the door. 27. The best love is probably that I worship you like a hero, and you love me like a child. I want to forget ... but I always remember from the beginning, for fear of missing a little detail that I was happy about. The world has given me thousands of joys, and I am in full bloom one by one along the way. It doesn't matter if I miss everything, as long as you dominate my mind. 30. One more snowflake will accompany you to count down the time and wait for happiness, and one more color will accompany you to silently count the time and wait for happiness. I hope my blessing can bring you more warmth.