A very popular cold joke on the Internet.

1. Getting up early for work, a buddy from Lu Yu hurried by. Greet him: "Why?" Answer: "Walk the dog." After a while, the buddy hurried back from the side. Ask him, "What's the matter?" The buddy said calmly, "I forgot my dog."

2. The big girl just went to junior high school and said to her mother one night, "Mom, we have a physiology class. I am now in adolescence, with a strong rebellious attitude and a bad temper! Don't mess with me if you have nothing to do. " Her mother said crossly, "Stop it. I am in menopause and my temper is worse! " "

Grandpa went to the hospital for a physical examination. The doctor said to him after the examination, "I'm sorry. After examination, we found that you have diseases in your stomach, bones, cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases." Grandpa replied, "I have known this for a long time." I'm not here to check to know where I'm sick, but to know where I'm not sick. " The doctor said awkwardly, "There is nothing I can do. We only look at people who are sick, but we can't look at people who are sick. "

Dad sent the guests out and said politely, "take care!" " Hearing this, the son naively said, "Dad, why do you say you walk slowly when you send someone out, and mom says you walk fast every time you send that person out?"

5. When the son entered the door, he asked his father, "Dad, do I have two mothers?" Hearing this, the wife rushed out and slapped her husband seven or eight times in the face: "Tell me which fox you have outside!" " The husband looked blank. The son said, "The last time I heard my mother call her husband to another man in the bedroom, I think since I have two fathers, I must have two mothers."

6. An old man's dog died. The old man packed the dead dog and prepared to take it back to his hometown for a funeral. But the people at the airport didn't know it was dead when they checked in, and only when they got off the plane did they find it dead, which frightened them. I thought I killed the dog. So I sent someone to the nearby dog market and bought an identical one. Later, the old man opened his luggage and found that the dog was still alive. So the old man was scared to death.

7. A child asked a rich man, "Sir, why are you so rich?" The rich man said, "I had nothing like you when I was a child." My father gave me an apple, so I sold it, bought two more apples with the money I earned, and then sold it to buy four more apples. " The child said thoughtfully, "Sir, I seem to understand." Mr. millionaire said, "What do you know? Later, when my father died, I inherited all his inheritance! " "

8. English gentlemen and French women share a box. Women take off their coats and lie down, complaining about the cold. Mr. Wang gave her his quilt, but she kept saying it was cold. "How else can I help you?" Mr. Wang asked in dismay. "When I was a child, my mother always used her body to keep me warm." "Young lady, I can't help you. Where can I find your mother? "

9. I went to breakfast with my son in elementary school yesterday, only to find that I was in a hurry and didn't bring my mobile wallet. The son took out his small vault with an expression of disgust: "I saw that when you were eating with those uncles, you were very active in saving money." How can you have breakfast with me, and I have to pay? Do you think I'm the only one in this family? "

10. I take my daughter out to play, and she always asks me to buy this. I didn't buy that, which became a habit, but it was not good. I told her that you should listen to your parents, and everything they said was reasonable. She replied, then your mother asked you to buy me something to eat. Why didn't you listen?