Who can help me find some very gentle but hilarious jokes?

A novice went to collect usury. He took out the IOU and said with a smile: It was written clearly in black and white, and you owe me 1 10,000! Hard road. Do you want to break the contract? ! People really don't have that much money, he threatened: hum! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't pay back the money tomorrow, your house will be just like it-he took out his lighter and burned the loan ... A mouse was chased by a cat and went into a flower shop by mistake. The mouse found that there was no way out, so he picked up a bunch of roses as a weapon and made a tenacious resistance ... The cat was shocked and immediately bowed its head and said shyly, you damn fool, it was so sudden ... Nurse: "Doctor, it's not good! Just now, the patient took the medicine we gave her, and the child fainted as soon as she got out of the clinic! " Doctor: "Come on, turn her body over, as if she had just entered the door!" " "The police officer who executed the death penalty walked into the cell and announced the order to the prisoner while shaking his raincoat. The prisoner said in surprise, why go to the execution ground in such a heavy rain? The officer said, what do you have to complain about? I have to come back in the rain! Tang Priest: This time we need to find a shortcut to learn from the scriptures! Wukong: Flying is faster than riding! Bajie: Shenzhou VI is faster! Friar Sand pulled out his gun and said, I heard this thing will be sent to the west at once. A motorcyclist likes to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle his buttons at the back to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. When the police arrived ... Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around. Policeman A: Well, I'm not breathing ... Q: Who is the darkest cartoon character in the world? Why a robot cat? Because he can't reach out and ask: Who is the most compassionate cartoon character in the world? Answer: Why the robot cat? Because he always reaches out his round hand to people! A couple quarreled. Woman: "You can't compare with anyone!" " "Man:" Yes, especially girlfriends! " "Do you like my angel's face or the devil's figure? M: I ... I like your sense of humor. A high school boy called his girlfriend in the middle of the night to fall in love. Unfortunately, the girl's mother received it. After asking the purpose, my girlfriend's mother was very unhappy and asked, "What's your last name?" The boy said, "My name is Wei." Mother asked again, "What happened to Wei? At this time, the man nervously replied: "I don't know why? My father's surname is Wei, too A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. Man: "I want a wife." ... the magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully, "I'm starving and covet beautiful women!" Pathetic! " Then it disappeared. Man: "... cake." (The old lady's cake is a kind of cake) Xiaomi: "Mom, I'm hungry!" " "Mimi's mother:" lovely, dad can't find a job and there is no food at home. " Xiaomi: "But I'm hungry ~ ~ ~" Mi's mother: "Alas ... well, you can borrow some pickles next door and I'll cook bath water for your father." A man ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky, "I'm dead, God help me!" " "I saw a voice falling from the sky at the first light:" Not necessarily, you can pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the leader to death. " So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, just killing him. All the people stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead. A lumberjack applied for the job of foreman: Try the forest in front of you ... and see how many trees you can saw in a minute ... After one minute ... Foreman: Wow ... 20 trees a minute ... It's amazing ... Where did you work before? Worker: Sahara Forest ... Foreman: Never heard of it ... I only heard of Sahara Desert ... Worker: Yes ... Later, I changed my name. Policeman: "Say, what's your name?" Prisoner: "My name is Jackie Chan." Policeman: "Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Correct your attitude ~ tell me your name ~? " Prisoner: "My name is Zhen Chen." When Mr. Wang's son was in the third grade of primary school, he was scolded by his impatient mother one day because he repeatedly failed to teach math well. Outside the study, Mr. Wang heard that his son was scolded badly, thinking that I would comfort him after his son was scolded, so as not to leave a shadow of being scolded in his young mind. After being scolded, my son walked out of the study with a depressed face. In order to understand his feelings after being scolded, Mr. Wang first asked him, "How did you feel when your mother scolded you?" I saw my son look at him with sad eyes and say, "why did you marry her?" Two foreigners go shopping in Carrefour. When checking out, the clerk asked, "Can you speak Chinese?" Two foreigners replied in Mandarin: "If you speak slowly, we can understand!"! The clerk said, "OK ... You ... talk ... China people? Spanish Dance Someone in China once went to Spain on business. One night, there was a dance, and the man took his wife to attend, but when he got to the venue, the dance had already started, so he took his wife to the empty dance floor and the two jumped up! After the music, he found all the audience beside the dance floor, staring at them with wide eyes ... He asked his Spanish friend, "Why don't you dance together?" "His Spanish friend said," ... that's the Spanish national anthem! ! "In the cinema. W: Why did you throw the orange peel on the ground? Man: What, you want me to throw orange meat? A loving couple is celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. The middle-aged neighbor who was watching asked the old student first: "Why can you maintain a happy and beautiful marriage for 50 years?" I have never heard you quarrel since I was born. Have you never had any disputes between you? " "The old man said," of course there are disputes, but they will not expand. I learned this truth from my honeymoon trip ... I remember when the traffic was inconvenient, we went to the Grand Canyon for our honeymoon, and each of us rented a donkey. Her donkey was obviously lazy and soon rested on the side of the road. I only heard my wife say coldly, "The first time. When the donkey wanted to be lazy for the second time, she pointed to the donkey and said, "This is the second time. When the donkey refused to leave for the third time, she unhurriedly took out her rented pistol and fired a shot! The middle-aged neighbor said in surprise, "Your wife is so cruel!" The old man said, "isn't it? I don't think it's right to stop by the side of the road and accuse her. She didn't argue with me, but said coldly, "First time." Xiao Zhang teaches in a junior high school. He is tall and big in Shuai Shuai, but he stutters when he is nervous. On one occasion, when he was invigilating the monthly exam, he found a student looking for an answer with his head down and his book turned. In anger, he shouted at the cheating students: "You, you, you, you, you dare to cheat, stand up for me!" As soon as the words were finished, six students stood up at once.