20 words of homophonic jokes in grade five

I was sitting in the hall watching TV, and my wife took a solid peach pit and said, "Honey, help me bite it open."

So I put it in my mouth, bit it open and gave it to her.

She shouted with joy: "You are still awesome! Mao Mao (my dog) hasn't bitten for a long time. " After that, he ran and shouted: "Mao Mao, come and eat, I will open it for you ..."

Fifth grade homophonic joke 1 homophonic joke

Homophonic joke: once there was a meeting in the village, because of the homonym, the village head said, "Rabbit, shrimp, don't paste melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Let's have a meeting now. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The township head said, "Rabbits, shrimps and dogs ate today's meal. Everyone is chinemys reevesii." Comrades and villagers, we have enough food today. Let's all use big bowls. ) Guangxi.

Some people in Guangxi speak Mandarin with inaccurate pronunciation and often with obvious local accent! Common reading: empty becomes public, mouth becomes dog, wind becomes crazy, which leads to the following

joke

When friends are far away, they usually eat a plate of snails for dinner. The host picked up one and said, man! He abandoned it, picked up the other one and said, it's a male again! The mouth is not short.

Goo: It's a man again! My friend was surprised and thought: awesome! Guangxi people are too powerful! Even the male and female snails can see it!

I also invited my friends to dinner. People in Guangxi have a little cold and find themselves sitting under the air outlet of the air conditioner. They said, I have a cold and can't sit next to a mad dog. Change seats after that, my friend.

No, what do you mean? I am a mad dog?

Hunan

A township head with a strong Hunan accent came to the village to make a report:

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ......

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story. ...

A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."

She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"

Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.

The beautiful waitress came to ask. Friends always miss any opportunity to practice Chinese and say, "How much is your sleep?" ?

The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

.....

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"It's yellow ..."

Xiaoming, who likes learning English, is looking for opportunities to speak English day and night.

On this day, he accidentally walked into a foreigner, and he said shyly, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." The foreigner replied.

"I'm sorry for three." Xiao Ming answered at once.

"What are you sorry for? "Asked the foreigner.

"Sorry five ..." Xiao Ming said.

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.

The beautiful service lady came to ask, my friend always missed any opportunity to practice Chinese and rushed to say, "How much is a sleep?"

The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"That's the yellow one!"

When a leader of Chaoshan area warmly received guests from other provinces on the boat, he said seriously, "It's a big wave today, so take some birth control pills."

Dizzy "), lest everyone be dizzy. "Everyone blushed. Then, the leader warmly greeted everyone: "Come, come. Please come to the bedside (bow) and sit on the bedside (bow) to see your wife.

(Suburb), the more you look, the better you look!

Yunnan Province

Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play. They heard that Beijing roast duck is very famous and decided to eat it. As soon as they sat down, one of them said to the waiter, "Go and dump those two roast ducks.

A foreign girl who married in China in the fifth grade. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."

She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"

Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "

One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he hesitated because there was no Geely license plate number in the garage. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try), and no one dares to mess with it. Not bad! " The rich man was moved and bought the car at once, but something happened the next day. The rich man got off the bus angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got off the bus, he left in despair. The other party's original license plate is 44944 (just try it).

Fifth grade crossword puzzles, homophonic ancient poetry couplets jokes about homophonic crossword puzzles, ancient poetry couplets jokes

See: wenku.baidu./view/30e91e021755818.

Crossword puzzles about homophones.

00 1, SARS, SARS, Qi Xin to clear (a word)

002, how to sigh in the reunion of the war (type 9 words)

003. The sponsor's mouth is under the fence (typing 16)

004, capuchin monkey (type a word)

005, add a bite at home (type a word)

006, Huguang Shui Ying Moon Sky (one word)

007, one thousandth (a word)

008, sweet, salty, bitter and spicy (type a word)

009, focus on supporting the northwest (one word)

0 10, make an excuse (type a word)

0 1 1, minus four, minus two, minus four (one word)

0 12, clear in water and bright in fire (one word)

0 13, sold at half price (one word)

0 14, barrage (one word)

0 15, does he have you, one day (type)

0 16, Phoenix without Peacock (one word)

0 17, the picture is not a field (a word)

Answer 00 1, Pai

002, yeah

003, huh

004, electricity

005 Hao

006, ancient times

007, Bo

008.

009, boss

0 10, Luo

0 1 1, Garden

0 12, Deng

0 13, urge

0 14, Hui

0 15, too

0 16, how many

0 17, ten

What are the homophonic jokes in the first volume of grade five? I have physics class today.

Speaking of communication, the physics teacher asked, "What was the earliest way of communication?"

Someone shouted a bonfire, and a voice came from the corner: "Dream. . "

Teacher: "Get out. . . "

Chinese character joke (grade five) classic-five boys smoking

The snitch teacher taught five boys to talk about smoking:

The first boy truthfully admitted being beaten; Back to the dormitory, said:

Dude: I want it all, so don't admit it when you want it.

[Scene 1]

Teacher: To be honest, do you smoke?

Boy A: No. ..

Teacher: No? Well, French fries, please.

Boy A naturally stretched out two fingers and took it. ...........

[Scene 2]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy b: no.

Teacher: No? Well, French fries, please.

Boy B is holding French fries carefully because he heard about A.

Teacher: Don't you want some ketchup?

B accidentally got too much, and immediately played it with two fingers-

Teacher: No? You are very skilled at playing soot. Call your parents ...............

[Scene 3]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy c: no.

Teacher: No? All right, French fries.

Because of the first two examples, the boy C carefully finished the French fries with sweat.

Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates?

Boy C picked up French fries and put them on his ear. ..................

[Scene 4]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy d: No. ..

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

The boy ate the French fries with trepidation and put them in his coat pocket.

The teacher suddenly shouted, here comes the headmaster.

The boy was so busy that he took French fries out of his pocket and threw them on the ground, stomping on them. ......................

[Scene 5]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy: No.

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

The boy just took the French fries,

The teacher said: Don't invite me to dinner.

The boy was so busy that he handed the chips in his hand and then took out a lighter. ................

[Scene 6]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy: No.

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

The boy ate French fries with trepidation and put them in his upper pocket.

The teacher suddenly shouted, here comes the headmaster.

The boy has sweated his palms and bowed his head and said, hello, headmaster!

Teacher: The headmaster will smell your mouth.

The boy took the French fries out of his pocket: it's safe, it's still there, the fire hasn't lit yet …

[Scene 7]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Teacher: You really don't smoke? Ok, let's have a French fries.

Boy: It's natural to take away the French fries and eat them clean.

Teacher: That's a good boy. What brand of French fries do you usually like?

Boy: [Get carried away] Greater China. . . . .

Scene n:

Teacher: French fries, please!

Boy: No thanks.

The fifth grade homophonic couplet 1 is lotus root and lotus root, (why is it even)

Apricots don't need plums (fortunately, they don't need media)

Lotus (face) is bitter in heart.

Pear-shaped (separated) intra-abdominal acid in children

Part III: Two boats compete, and rowing is not as fast as sailing.

Downward; A hundred schools of thought contend, and the flute is harder to clear than Xiao He.

Note: Rushing, sailing fast, Di Qing and Xiaohe are homonyms respectively: Lu Su, Pan Wei, Di Qing and Xiaohe.

Tian Shang (monk) = = embroidered scissors in front of the beauty hall (scholar)

Five-level homophonic ancient poems and bamboo branches

Yuxi Liu Tang

Willow and green Jiang Shuiping,

Smell the songs on the Langjiang River.

Sunrise in the east and rain in the west,

Tao Yangguang (sentimental) but Sunshine (sentimental)

.

The reporter interviewed passers-by and asked: Are you happy? Passers-by replied: My surname is Zeng.