A humorous and silly joke

A collection of humorous and silly jokes

1. The pig butcher and the tea seller made a bet.

The pig-killer said: An egg cannot be broken with a hammer. ?

The tea seller said: ?It can be broken with a hammer!?

The pig butcher said: ?It can’t be broken with a hammer!?

The tea seller was not convinced and took Take an egg and hit it hard with a hammer. The egg will break. Said: "Isn't this broken?" ?

The pig butcher said: The egg is broken, but what I said is unbreakable. Ah!?

2. A buddy is introducing his new girlfriend My own family: I am not an only child, I have an older brother. The girlfriend asked curiously: Ah, you have an older brother above you, and is there a younger brother below?

3. A man went to steal cabbage in the cabbage field, and it happened that an army came to the cabbage field for exercises. When he saw the army, he got down, and then the army started firing. After the performance, the army left, and he got up and said what a big deal, TMD, set up the artillery fire.

4. The goat introduced the elephant to the mosquito as his girlfriend, and the mosquito agreed immediately.

When Mosquito’s parents learned about it, they advised him, “Son, forget it, we can’t even afford an engagement ring.” ?

5. Wife: I know you have no money. My money is on the dressing table. You can take as much as you want. ?

My husband thought to himself, this is extraordinary. He dared to walk over and take a look, and found twenty yuan on it.

6. Chinese: Before marriage, she had a slim figure.

English translation: Before marriage, she was as tall as a Coca-Cola bottle.

Chinese: After marriage, she became like a bucket.

English translation: After marriage, her figure became like a Coca-Cola can.

7. I opened the college entrance examination application guide and saw that it was full of schools. On each page crookedly, the words "Excellent Teachers" were written.

I couldn’t sleep anyway, so I read carefully for half the night, and then I saw the words between the words. The word “charge” was written all over the book!

8. Reporter interview A centenarian.

? What is the secret of longevity for the elderly in the city? The reporter asked.

The old man sighed: "It's nothing. You can't die. If you die, you will be a burden to your children." ?

9. One person went to have a fortune-teller. After touching bones, looking at faces, and calculating horoscopes, the fortune-teller said, "You will fall in love at the age of twenty, get married at the age of twenty-five, and have children at the age of thirty. You will be rich, safe, and have a happy family all your life." Worry-free old age. The man was first shocked and then angry, and said: I am thirty-five years old, have a doctorate, and am a bachelor. I am not in love. After hearing this, the gentleman thought for a while and said: "Young man, knowledge changes your destiny." ?

10. Xiao Ming asked his father: Why do he have two ears and only one mouth? ?

Dad said: ?This is to ask you to listen more to other people's advice and talk less nonsense yourself!?

11. There are two programmers fishing, one of them He caught a mermaid whose upper body was a beauty and whose lower body was a fish, so the programmer let her go. Another asked him: Why, and he replied: There is no API.

12. The husband saw a text message received on his wife’s mobile phone:?002291 000524 002467 002582?. When my husband trades in stocks, he can tell the stock code at a glance. Someone recommended a stock? So I checked the name of the stock and suddenly realized: Saturday, Oriental Hotel, 263, I miss you so much!?

13. My seven-year-old son is studying? The moonlight is bright in front of the window... Mom, whose girl is Mingyue?

14. I would like to turn into a stone bridge and be blown by the wind for five hundred years, the sun for five hundred years, and the rain for five hundred years, but I hope that this girl will never Walked across the bridge. Five hundred years later. . . A stone bridge said with infinite sadness: Why is she wearing jeans today?

15. A woman was walking on the street wearing a mink coat. A man ran up from behind, took off her coat, and then He slapped her in the face and said angrily: "You are not allowed to buy such an expensive thing, but you have to buy it!" Then he turned around and walked away.

Everyone on the street thought they were a couple. The woman stood there in confusion for a long time and shouted: "Robbery!"

16. A: Why do you think foreign wine is black?

Winery Manager: This is not simple. If rat droppings fall in, they won’t be found!!

A: Then why is Chinese wine white?

Winery Manager : This is even simpler, if mouse droppings fall in, we just say it is wine dregs!

17. In the parrot speaking competition held, the parrot that won the first place was called Coco. He walked out of the cage, looked around, and shouted: Why are there so many parrots here?

18. My car tire was punctured again. You are engaged in road construction projects, why are our roads so bad?

? Yes, when it comes to roads, there are big problems. Once, a foreign expert came to us on a motorcycle. He was very surprised when he saw our roads and said, "The motorcycles you produce are so good, but the roads are so bad. What's going on?" One of our superiors said: "The problem is very simple: motorcycles can be exported. But roads can’t!?

19. A landowner was about to die. He added these words in his will: The two missing bulls can be dealt with like this: If they are found, they will be mine. son, if they are not found, they shall be my steward. ?

20. All hospitals must save expenses everywhere. Once, the mirror above the washbasin in the nurse's room was broken and I requested to replace it. The hospital rejected the request for financial reasons and refused to approve it.

Later, when requesting for the distribution of equipment, a nurse filled out "a human body reflector" on the form, and it was quickly approved. ;