Mother's day humor jokes

Mother's Day is a time to thank your mother. Mothers usually receive gifts on this day. Carnation is considered as a flower dedicated to mother, while China's mother flower is Hemerocallis, also known as the girl without sorrow. The following is the related content of mother's day humorous jokes I compiled for you, for reference only, I hope it will help you!

Mother's day humor jokes 1 1. Going to the market with my mother, a vegetable vendor was rude to an old woman, so my mother stole his food and broke it in half.

I just complained to my mother about my cold feet, wearing snow boots and cotton slippers. My mother squinted at me and said, "Then you can only wear hot wheels."

I quarrel with my mother from time to time. Once, when my mother couldn't compete with me, she calmly scolded "Fuck you".

4. I went to buy a down jacket with my mother, and I was optimistic about a short one. My mother said, I don't know how big my ass is.

One day, I went climbing with my family. I walked ahead alone. Suddenly, I accidentally burped. Mother excitedly said to the father and others behind her, "Listen! There are wild boars calling! "

6. I told my mother that my classmates said I had an egg breast. My mother said calmly, you can't be furious just because someone tells the truth. Girl, accept the reality.

7. Once my mother scolded me, she always scolded me: your grandmother's leg. I was bored, so I said something. If you look at it in other words, she immediately replied: Your mother's leg, then I can't say anything.

8. I have lived under the verbal violence of my mother since I was a child. She described my figure like this: our board is placed horizontally, without spilling four dishes and one soup!

9. When naming the child, my wife said on the news that Beckham's daughter was named Xiaoqi because of her jersey number. She asked me, honey, what number do you play? Me: No.

10, the food tonight is so enjoyable, spicy and strong. After eating, I asked my mother: You usually don't dare to eat spicy food. Why do you cook such spicy food today? My mother said that the diced peppers were overdone. The whole family are afraid to eat. I want to feed it upside down to the dog, lest it burn the dog to death. Later, I remembered that you like spicy food, so I saved it for you. (The living is not as good as the dog series! )

1 1, son: Mom, it's all your fault. It's not about puppy love. I haven't found anyone yet! Mom: Son, that's why I won't let you fall in love early, or you'll already know the reality that you can't find someone.

12, mother's day, I hesitated for a long time and sent a short message to my mother: "mom, you have raised me for so many years, you have worked hard!" My mother gave me a reply: "I do, do you care?"

13, chatting with my parents, my dad said with a depressed face: "You are so ugly that no one wants you!" I fell into a deep sense of inferiority, and my mother said, "Don't say that!" " "I looked at my mother with a happy face, but you still love me. Mother replied, "I'm still blind." "

14. Today, my girlfriend met her parents and quarreled with her during dinner. My girlfriend pinched my waist and my mother saw me. Then she patted me on the head and told her: it's no use pinching like this. If you hit me like this ... this is definitely my real mother!

15, since I had this product at home. My mother called him son and called me dog ... I felt that I had no future and was usurped. ...

16, I am a chubby girl, a piece of paper, single. An aunt told my mother that she would introduce me to someone. Say how nice it is to be a man. Finally, men want to find a date among naive girls. My mother replied, forget it. Our daughter is a golden eagle.

17, a classmate's English is poor. One day, he came home from the exam and said happily to his mother, mom, guess what score I got in the English exam. My mother said, What score? He said, this time it's three digits. His mother said happily: points? He said, mom, I'll give you one last chance. His mother said happily, how much is it? He said. Points. His mother beat him from the living room to the bathroom and from the bathroom to the balcony.

18, your parents have been married for more than 20 years and have never quarreled. How did you do that? ""On my mother's wedding day, the dog yelled at her, and she said calmly that this was the first time. After a while, the dog yelled at her again, and she said, this is the second time. After a while, the dog barked at her! She hacked the dog to death with a kitchen knife. My dad yelled at her, you're crazy! My mother looked at my father calmly and said, this is the first time. From then on, they lived a happy life. "

19 just called my mother, and my mother said that she received a text message from a liar this morning, saying that my girlfriend and I were arrested for opening a room and asked for remittance or something. "You can tell who is lying at a glance," my mother said. I was just about to praise her wit when my mother said, "How can my son have a girlfriend?" ... mom, enough ...

20. Once I heard my parents chatting, my father said, "Who will marry our daughter in the future?" My father replied, "It's too poor. Should we have a good sympathy for our son-in-law? " Mom: "No, that should be because that person committed too many crimes in his last life and is not worthy of sympathy."

2 1. In order to be cool in college, I specially found jumping pants and cut several big cuts. As a result, once I went home, my mother washed it for me. When I got back to school, I took it out and put it on. When I saw it, my mother sewed it neatly.

22. One day, my mother fell and limped home. I asked her how she felt. She said: I walked on the road and saw a puddle in front of me. All the people are walking around. I looked at the puddle, so I wanted to see if I could jump over it. And I fell down.

23. I told my mother that such a big man should not be used to it all day. My mother immediately leaned in and spoiled. How can I act like a spoiled child? I petrified immediately. The friend on the side immediately fell down.

There are red ants in my house. The community distributed drugs to kill ants. My mother spilled medicine in the crack in the wall and squatted there to watch. Then she suddenly shouted with great excitement, "Come and see, the ants have taken the medicine away!" " Taking this medicine is killing each other! Ants are crazy! "My head was covered with black lines.

25. At school, mobile phones can't be dialed out. I texted my mother to call me back. It took me more than a few minutes to call me on the landline. I asked what I was busy with. It's so late, my mother said, watch TV, and I'll call when I'm free during the commercial!

26. I overheard my wife educating her three-month-old son: "How dare you cry? I have no culture at all, and I can't take care of myself. I don't want to think about how your mother can stand it. "

27. I am lovelorn, depressed and emaciated. Mom sees in her eyes and sees in her heart, but I haven't done parenting education for decades and I don't know how to enlighten her. One day, I couldn't eat or answer. My mother is anxious and painful. She struck the table: You are party member, and I am party member. What can't be discussed between party member and party member? I just laughed when I was lovelorn.

28. I told my mother that I was definitely not your own, but sent by my mobile phone. My mother sighed and said, don't worry, daughter, you are one of our own. If I give you a mobile phone fee of this quality, I will switch to Unicom now.

29. When I was playing with my mobile phone, my mother said that I would play with my mobile phone all day. When I play computer, my mother says I will play computer all day. When I watch TV, my mother says I will watch TV all day. When I was reading, she just ignored me!

30. I used to sleep until noon during Chinese New Year. I once vaguely heard my parents chatting. Father said: Who will marry our daughter in the future? My mother replied: What a pity! We should sympathize with our son-in-law? Dad said: no, it should be because that person committed too many crimes in his last life and is not worthy of sympathy!

3 1, I remember my mother helped me decompress the night before the college entrance examination that year: "Relax, don't give yourself too much pressure, what if you don't get into the exam, what if you don't get into a good university?" The important thing is that I didn't give birth to your son.

32. When I was in primary school, my teacher asked me to write a composition about housework, repeatedly stressing that it should be true. I don't know if everyone will ask for this. On Monday, the teacher asked a classmate to read. He read: I will help my mother wash clothes when I get home. My mother said to go away and play. I said the teacher told me to do it. My mother said that your teacher forced me to do so much ... This is the truest composition I have ever heard.

The country where I teach is very cold in winter, and the temperature is often below zero degrees Celsius. One morning, a student was late, and his mother wrote me a letter: "teacher, our rooster is freezing, and the children can't get up for school on time." Please forgive me! "

Early in the morning, the mother asked her son, Didn't you prepare a present for me on Mother's Day today?

The son bowed his head and thought about it. He said weakly, otherwise, you can give me a beating as a gift, as long as you are happy.

2. At 1 in the morning, I suddenly remembered that today is Mother's Day. I ran to my mother's room and said to her ear, "Mom, today is Mother's Day. Happy holidays!" "

"Pa" mother patted me on the head: "You scared me. What time is it now? Did you steal your mobile phone again? "

3. Leftover women: "Happy Mother's Day, Mom!"

Mom: "If you get married early, we can spend the holidays together."

leftover ladies; 3Swomen ...

4. I called my mother: "Mom! Happy Mother's Day! I will be your son in the next life! "

Mom: "it's a big holiday, can you stop saying such sad things!" " "

On Mother's Day, everyone in the company sent a postcard to her mother.

Colleagues said that the company sent a postcard last year, and the family specially called her after receiving it. Did you drop something? Why did you only take a piece of paper?

6. Today is Mother's Day. I hope mothers all over the world can wear sunscreen today, because friends are basking in their mothers.