The main performance of girls being used as spare tires

1, he seldom contacts you actively. Few boys are too shy and kind to take the initiative to contact their beloved girls. The word kindness makes boys very uncomfortable. If a boy really likes you, he can't help but not contact you. If he is really waiting for you to contact him, only show that he doesn't like you very much. 2. In the next stage when the warmth is not established, everyone can chat and play games together, and the conversation continues to 12, but they still don't want to say good night. Don't think that everyone can be together, just the last confession. So you began to say something warm, even indicating that you want to be his girlfriend. Then he will just start the opera performance, pretend not to hear what you mean, and immediately bypass the topic discussion. Holding his hand like a joke, but he also avoided it like a joke. After all, he only thinks you are a spare tire. How can you stand your spare tire trying to be graded? 3. It's not really difficult for him to tease other girls. Boys and girls are warm, but they hate you, but they don't feel so much for you. But I regard you as a social software to solve loneliness, and I can be accompanied by many people when I am depressed. I think they are always secretly looking for someone they really love, and at that time, as single men and women, they can still pursue perfection. Perhaps, it's just the process before meeting true feelings. The main performance of girls being used as spare tires 2. Why are some people willing to be spare tires 1 rather than giving up the investment model of sunk cost economics? There is a "sunk cost effect": that is, when people continue to invest in people, things and things that have been invested and are obviously ineffective. It has a similar effect on the spare tire: even if you realize that you may have no hope, the spare tire will continue to pay. This may be because people tend to defend themselves, that is, trying to rationalize their efforts and defend their efforts. They don't want to admit that their decision may be wrong, thinking that once they give up, their previous investment will be gone. Therefore, the spare tire will choose to stay in the relationship, and even further increase the investment, hoping that more investment can be exchanged for the promise of admiring the object. 2. People who think that they have got "good enough" are willing to be spare tires, perhaps because they think that the other party's response is "good enough" and they are afraid that after leaving this relationship, they will not find other people who are good to themselves. This part of the spare tire may be in a family that was born and raised, and rarely feels the affirmation from others. Therefore, although their admirers only gave a low-level response, they also made the spare tire feel "concerned". People with this kind of spare tire often realize that they don't get enough love in the spare tire relationship after experiencing the sincere dedication and love of others. 3. It is difficult for people who are afraid of losing their spare tire relationship. It may be because they are used to a relationship and are afraid of the changes that will happen after losing the relationship. For some spare tires, even if there is no commitment between two people, the existence of the object of admiration can suppress the feelings of the spare tire and get used to communicating and paying with this particular person. They are afraid that once they leave the relationship, the vacancy of life and emotion will make them feel at a loss. I like being "needed". Some spare tires enjoy the feeling of "constantly paying". In the process of giving, the spare tires feel that they are "needed" and they link their personal values with them. The more they give, the more noble they mean. If one day the object of admiration leaves and no one asks them for it, the spare tire will panic because it can't find a way of self-affirmation. So, what effect will being a spare tire have on a person? In one case, the spare tire may become "unwilling to pay" in the next intimate relationship. They don't feel the "sense of fairness" in the spare tire relationship, and think that they are always paying without returning. On the one hand, they lose trust in giving and don't believe that giving can get a response; On the other hand, they hope to get compensation in the next relationship and make up for the love they didn't get during the spare tire by asking others for it. The spare tire experience may hurt the self-esteem of the spare tire owner. This is related to the way of attribution. If the spare tire person thinks that the responsibility of "becoming a spare tire" lies with himself, then the spare tire person will fall into self-doubt: I am not good enough, so I can't pursue each other? They need to realize that the responsibility in a relationship is two-way, and their admirers can also stop the relationship or refuse the spare tire, but the object will not do so. However, the experience of making a spare tire may also have a positive impact on people. People with spare tires may realize what kind of relationship they want in this kind of emotional experience (for example, they want both sides to pay equally, and they must have a committed relationship, etc.). They also learned to recognize objects. In future relationships, spare tires can better distinguish between those who really pay and those who just regard them as spare tires.