Whose joke is great?

1, Tomb-Sweeping Day, Zhang San bought a sacrifice and actually had a papery Apple mobile phone. I don't think so: can MAC's ancestors work? The boss gave a white look: Jobs has gone down to teach himself, and he still cares! Zhang San thought it made sense and bought one. Boss reminds: Don't forget the charger! Be careful when you come back. If it is a small matter when you come back, it will be troublesome to ask you to send it! Zhang San asked the boss for his business card. Boss: Fuck, huh? Zhang San: Blend together. If it is broken, he can ask you for a warranty.

2. Someone went to explore the primeval forest and was unfortunately caught by the cannibal tribe. Those guys wanted to dedicate him to the chief for dinner, but the chief sighed, "Fresh is fresh, but today is Lent!" " "Someone was overjoyed:" Then let me go! However, the chief pursed his lips and said, "Nice try. Give me a vegetable before eating! " "

3. Once upon a time, Americans visited Russia. One day, I saw two Russian workers on my way to Russia. One is to dig a hole by the roadside with a shovel, and dig a hole every three meters. Another worker immediately backfilled the hole just dug by the previous worker, and so on. ....

Out of curiosity, the American asked the first Russian worker, "Why did the guy behind you fill in the hole as soon as you dug it?" ? 』

Russian workers replied: "We are greening the road. I dig a hole, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills the soil. But the second man didn't come today. 』

4. Tomb-Sweeping Day has arrived. Last night, my family and I went downstairs to burn paper money to worship our ancestors, leaving my sister to look after the house. As soon as I came back, my sister said to me, "Brother, a few people talked to you on the Internet just now, and I helped you reply!" " "I looked at the message record curiously. It turned out that ... Oh, my God, my sister actually replied to me: I'm sorry, my brother is gone, and he can't come up to talk to you unless I help him burn paper ...

5. School Booking Office: Tickets are particularly tight now. If the train ticket you want is gone, will you obey the adjustment?

Me: Obey.

After getting the ticket the next day, I was very angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did I get a ticket to Shanxi! ! !

School booking office: Didn't you say that you obey the adjustment?

6. A man ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky, "I'm dead, God help me!" " "I saw a voice falling from the sky at the first light:" Not necessarily, you can pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the leader to death. " So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, just killing him. All the people stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead. "

7. When someone was in his teens, he got up with his second uncle in the morning and went to the village next door to steal apples. After being discovered, he ran away quickly. The second uncle ran ahead, and someone found a half-burned wreath on a grave by the side of the road, so he picked it up and ran, trying not to be seen by the pursuers. Uncle secretary ran to look back. A half-burned wreath chased him and fainted on the spot! After staying at home for two months, I couldn't get out of bed. ...

8. This is the smell.

Once upon a time, an old man liked to drink soup cooked by his wife. As long as he doesn't drink for a day, he will feel uncomfortable all over. Later, his wife died and he couldn't drink the soup, so he was very sad and began to let his wife cook it.

But no matter how well his daughter-in-law does, he always throws it aside and says, "It's not the smell. You can cook such a terrible soup! " At first, the daughter-in-law always swallowed her words, but as the days passed, she still couldn't do it. Finally, she had a murder plan to kill her father-in-law. But she doesn't know how to do it. She thought and thought, and suddenly found a rusty pesticide in the corner.

She sprayed insecticide into the soup, and then got up the courage to give it to her father-in-law, who shouted, "That's the smell! This is the taste! "