Six ways of speaking with high emotional intelligence contribute to a happy life.

Grandpa bought a bag of candy for his two little granddaughters, and grandma teased them.

Say to the boss, "Tingting, can you get some sugar for grandma?" I like sugar too. "

Tingting looked up at her grandmother and turned her back and said, "You are so old, what are you eating?" "

Grandma's smile instantly condensed on her face. After a while, he said to his little granddaughter, "Lele, give grandma some of your candy. Grandma loves candy."

Lele raised her little face and sincerely said to her grandmother, "Grandma, eating sugar when you are old is not good for your health. I can eat sugar and grow more beautiful! " Grandma smiled and stroked her little granddaughter's head, showing infinite pity.

Kind words are warmer than cloth; Hurtful words are deeper than spears and halberds. Language "Xunzi? Honor or disgrace, if it is nice, is warmer than adding a coat, and if it hurts people, it is more painful than stabbing with a spear.

Rodin said: there is no shortage of beauty in the world, and there is no shortage of eyes to find beauty. The potential meaning of praising others is: you are excellent, I appreciate you and like to communicate with you.

Good communication starts with learning praise! Everyone will say a compliment, but it is not easy to say yes.

Two methods are provided for reference. 1. Dominance sublimation method. For example, say to the writer: your article is so good, I didn't expect you to play the piano so beautifully and you are so knowledgeable.

Praising the writer's good writing is far less touching than praising her other hobbies.

2. Indirect praise method. For example, "your handwriting is great" is not as good as "the teacher said your handwriting was great when we chatted yesterday".

Saying nice things behind others' backs is very flattering in their ears, including those who convey such compliments.

The original intention of criticism is to frustrate education, which makes people learn from a painful experience and think about it before changing it. But being attacked will instinctively defend, which is a natural reaction of people. If you don't penetrate or bypass each other's psychological defense wall, criticism will not only fail to achieve results, but may also be counterproductive and cause opposition.

Talking skills to bypass the psychological defense wall, hold your breath! Can achieve results.

For example: 1. The manager doesn't like the copy sent. Say to the clerk, "Xiao Li, you may have neglected this copy." I know your level and I think you can write a better one. " Li Xiao naturally said, "Yes".

Flexibility and toughness, in recognition, making demands is more convincing than direct criticism.

Example: 2. The manager denied the copy. The manager said to the clerk, "Xiao Li, are you tired of working overtime recently?" This one didn't pass, cheer up and take the next one seriously.

It is easier to accept criticism in caring.

It is painful for a thin-skinned person to refuse others. Many things in life are the best choices.

Choosing requires ability, leaving room for rejection requires attitude and skill.

The rejection scenarios of three scenarios are provided for reference:

1. Refusal to woo. Example: a I'm not completely sure about my feelings, and I don't want to start a relationship hastily. B My mother won't let me talk about feelings yet, but I listen to her a lot.

A friend said, I don't drag my feet. Don't like it or not. Frankly speaking.

Speaking with high emotional intelligence means respecting yourself and appreciating others. You should know that "a word of praise is glorious in China; The derogatory term is stricter than the axe. "

It will be refreshing to refuse directly, and the rejected person should digest it slowly. Some men with small minds and low emotional intelligence will even get angry and retaliate, which will bring unnecessary trouble to your life.

2. Rejection at work. When the customer makes a request and can't agree. Example: A Sorry, I tried my best, but I'm sorry I can't help you.

The customer wants a lower price, B apologizes, I understand your need, but the company's articles of association limit system can't pass, please understand.

3. Exclusion in life. For example, if a friend borrows money, the man can say that his wife's house just took it away. It is inconvenient now, but it may be ok after a while; The woman said that her husband's relatives just took it away.

I learned a painful lesson: in geometry, the straight path is the shortest, and in interpersonal relationships, the curved path is the shortest.

If girls are asked to say the conditions for choosing a boyfriend, nine out of ten women may have this requirement, which is very humorous.

A person with a sense of humor, charm, appropriate high emotional intelligence and good mentality.

Humor is not the same as being funny, it has more connotations. Organize a dinner party, and as soon as it is served, people begin to be very happy, talking incessantly, full of reproductive organs and spitting feces. This has nothing to do with humor, but at best it's teasing.

Some people think that China people lack humor, and I think this is the best humor. It deeply and crazily stung ignorance.

However, it is also true that ordinary people living under anxiety are not as humorous as elites. The highest praise for a talking person in life is that he is a humorous person. Humor, not born, can be cultivated through exercise.

Share three ways to use humor:

Laugh at yourself. There are more than 1000 articles written by Mi Meng of Communication College A, and there may be 700 self-deprecating articles based on obesity. For example, a "Recently, Tang Wei heard a story about a blind man touching an elephant at school. He ran over, closed his eyes, touched my leg and said, Mom, I touched an elephant, and I: "

Example: B Yang Mi is also a master of self-mockery. The net exposed her smelly feet, so she used the lyrics of the theme song "Don't take off your shoes before dawn".

2. Establish a humorous intellectual library. Collect humorous jokes suitable for your own expression, try to share them and exercise in action. I saw a joke when I was at school. For example, there is a classroom in University A, and there is something wrong with the wall clock. As long as something knocks, it will get faster and faster, and it takes 5 minutes to knock once.

One day, when the professor was in class, he found a classmate throwing a wall clock with an eraser while writing on the blackboard. He kept quiet and still went to class by the clock. It wasn't long before the final exam arrived, and everyone was immersed in it. I saw the professor practicing losing the clock with the blackboard eraser.

In the evening, my daughter and I watched TV in the living room, and my husband surfed the Internet in the study. I was a little thirsty, but I didn't want to move, so I said, honey, give me a bottle of coke. My husband came out of the study and brought me a bottle and ran back to the study. At this time, the five-year-old daughter also shouted: Dad, I want to drink, too. The husband said impatiently: take it yourself! The daughter paused and shouted, honey, I want to drink, too

3. A new interpretation of Ming Ci. Easy to learn and remember. Example: A lawyer's new explanation: He knows how to smooth all irregularities with his mouth, smooth them with means and smooth them with evidence.

Ex.: B is a veritable new explanation: the second-in-command did a good job.

Humor is a sharp weapon in life, which helps to communicate with people, harmonize relations and increase competition opportunities.

It is undoubtedly lucky to get help from others in life. Many people think that love is compensation, and it is disgusting to say a bunch of words of thanks in person. It's strange to have this idea. This is a wrong idea and needs to be reversed.

For example, if you stepped on my foot, just because you said you were sorry, I would definitely say it doesn't matter, so you can leave without apologizing.

If you are grateful, say it generously and sincerely. This is a kind attitude and recognition of the value of others.

So that it is possible to help again next time. If you don't say something, you won't have a chance.

Example: A girl often asks a boy who sings well to send her back to the dormitory. Said it was dark for a while and she was afraid. The boy is very happy because he likes girls.

Girls are beautiful and outstanding in their studies, but boys hesitate several times and dare not confess. After a while, the girl said that she had just made a boyfriend and didn't need a boy to send her.

The boy joked that I like you, too, but the opportunity was given to others. The girl said in surprise, I thought you didn't like me after we walked together for so long.

You are not used to saying gratitude and love, which may make you miss many opportunities.

The more you argue, the clearer your point of view, but if you are arguing rather than stating the facts, it is meaningless.

Arguments will only intensify contradictions, not solve problems.

Facing the argument, grasp one skill and three degrees.

The trick is:

Pause and say. When you insist on what the other person says, you shut up, when the other person doesn't say it, you start talking again, and so on, so as not to let the topic degenerate into an argument.

Attitude is:

1. What can be verified in life, debate and non-debate,

2. If you can't do textual research in your life, you can discuss it, but you don't have to argue.

3. For those who are wrong in common sense, such as 1+ 1 = 3, which came first, the Tang Dynasty or the Jin Dynasty?

This kind of conclusive thing, just shut up, find out the evidence and speak with facts.

This view and method comes from Zhuangzi's thought: "Outside Liuhe, there are no saints; Within Liuhe, the sage told it; In the Spring and Autumn Period, sages discussed without arguing.

People with high emotional intelligence, without imposing opinions on others, can also resolve the opinions imposed by others, remain calm and calm, remain detached from Tucao Star, and smile and wait and see the emotional collision of others.

If there is an argument, stop. If there is no argument, we'll talk again.

Speaking is the basic behavior of life and social interaction. Six ways of speaking with high emotional intelligence can make you feel at home in your life and solve problems with ease, which is worth long-term exercise.