Collect jokes and funny jokes?

The complete collection of mental hospital jokes (complete version) (1) A patient came to see a psychiatrist. Patient: I always felt like I was a bird. Doctor: Oh, that’s serious. When did it start? Patient: Ever since I was a little bird. (2) A doctor at a mental hospital asked a patient: What would happen to you if I cut off one of your ears? The patient replied: Then I won't be able to hear it. The doctor listened: Yeah. Very normal. The doctor asked again: What would happen to you if I cut off your other ear? The patient replied: Then I won't be able to see it. The doctor became nervous: How could he not see it? The patient replied: Because the glasses will fall off. (3) Two mental patients escaped from the hospital. The two ran and ran and climbed up a tree. One of them jumped down from the tree and rolled. Then he raised his head and said to the person above: Hey... why don't you come down...? The person above answered him: No...ok...ah...I'm not familiar with it yet... (4) There is an old lady in the mental hospital who wears black clothes and holds a black umbrella and squats at the door of the mental hospital every day. . The doctor thought: To cure her, we must start by understanding her. So the doctor also wore black clothes, held a black umbrella, and squatted there with her. The two squatted in silence for a month. The old lady finally spoke to the doctor: Excuse me...are you...also a mushroom...? (5) A certain mental hospital heard that the leaders were coming to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the director convened a meeting with the patients. At the meeting, the director said: "This afternoon, very important leaders are coming to visit. Everyone is here." Go to the door to welcome. During the welcome, all the patients should stand on both sides of the hospital gate, standing neatly. When I cough, everyone should applaud together, the more enthusiastically the better; when I stamp my feet, they must all stop, and no one can make a mistake. . As long as everyone is ready, we can eat meat buns for everyone tonight. If one person messes up, everyone will have no buns to eat. Remember?" The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember! "That afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the door, the welcoming patients were already standing at the door. At this time, as the director coughed, all the patients clapped together to welcome him, and the atmosphere was very warm. The leaders who came to visit were infected by the warm atmosphere. They walked into the hospital with smiles and applauded together with everyone. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the dean stamped his feet and all the applause stopped. It was very neat. Only this leader continued to move forward with a smile and applause. The dean was very satisfied. Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger emerged from the welcoming crowd, strode up to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face, and shouted angrily - "You don't want to eat steamed buns anymore?" ? ! ” (6) Mental patient A stole the phone number from the nurse’s office. Ask B: "What do you think of the novel I completed recently?" B looked at it and replied: "Not bad, not bad. However, there are just too many characters." At this time, the nurse from the mental hospital came in and said, "Put the phone number book back!" (8) Two mental patients, A and B, recovered at the same time. Their attending doctor said to them: "If one of you When a person is sick, another person will send him to the hospital immediately." Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang, and it turned out to be Mr. A: "It's terrible, Mr. B has been crawling in the toilet of my house since this morning. , He must be my toilet." "Hurry, bring him here!" Mr. A was silent for a moment: "Then... I don't have a toilet?" (9) A mental patient lives in a mental hospital every day. All fishing in an empty fish tank. One day, a nurse jokingly asked: "How many fish did you catch today?" The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted: "There is something wrong with your brain, didn't you see that the fish tank was empty?"