Heikuli’s jokes in classical Chinese

1. Classical Chinese passages expressing loneliness

1. The smoke and water in Suzhou are prosperous and confusing, and the clouds are falling in the cloud pavilion on the green mountains. The painting is unfolded with an inkstone and ink, and one does not sigh about the geometry of floating life.

The man in green shirt and sword is flying across the world, and he is laughing about the mistakes of heroes. A song of colorful clothes and feathers, how can I complain about how lonely this life is.

2. Cherishing from all directions, as the saying goes, smiling, lying drunk in the world of mortals, looking northwest to Chang'an, the bright moon thousands of miles away sends my lovesickness.

Drunk here, my thoughts are nameless, and the wind blows thousands of miles. I have been drunk for a thousand years, and the bright moon will shine on Kyushu again.

3. Astride my green horse, recall my youthful travels. Bones rise up to cross the quicksand, and people are beheaded in the drunken city. There have been times when I had no plans to show my skill, I have been bought drunk with a lot of money and entered a brothel, I have beaten horses and weeping willows for a long road, I have had hairpins on the heads of beauties with thrush. When we said goodbye, we hated each other and knew each other was short. Only when we held our hands did we feel the coldness of our green shirts. The storms and clouds gather and dissipate and eventually have to be exhausted. The old friend Jiang Hai borrowed a long sail and could not hold a glass of wine in Xifeng Yangguan. Alas, rest, the yellow flowers and butterflies will be sad tomorrow. Even if hairpin flowers are the same as drunkenness, they are not the same as youth wandering.

2. Looking for some classical lol jokes, like the recently popular Gao Dewei Zhe Lao Gan Daddy, the middle laner,

The Great God and Zhilong are facing each other. , drank freely. When the wine was half full, the great god asked: "If you have been in the wilderness for a long time, you must know the heroes of the world. Please try to point out the words." Zhilong said: "How can the dragon recognize heroes with his naked eyes?" "Wei said: "Don't be too modest." Zhilong said: "EDG Colin Alawu has countless honors, can he be a hero? Wei smiled and said, "I've already humiliated my fat daddy!" Zhilong said: "Royal Nami, the official number one AD in S4, can she be a hero?" "Weixiao said: "Being kicked out and lingering is not enough to be called a hero. Zhilong said: "There is a man named Jiajun, Wei Zhen S3: Taishanglaojun, can you be a hero?" Cao said: "Taishanglaojun, He is not a hero if he has only one centimeter of EQ." Zhilong said: "There is a man with a strong spirit and a merry-go-round dog." Wei said: "A person with one centimeter of EQ is not a hero." Zhilong said: "Can Royal UZI be a hero?" Wei said: "Two defeats, teaming up at the top, how can we be heroes!" Zhilong said: "It's like 50-50, PDD, smile, strawberry, smile, how can everyone else be like that? ?" Wei clapped his hands and laughed and said: "Retired people are nothing to care about!" Zhilong said: "Other than this, Long really doesn't know." Wei said: "A hero has great ambitions and a good plan. He found out that the earth is round, and he has the ability to sleepwalk in the wild." Zhilong said: "Who can do it?" Wei used his fingers to control the dragon, then pointed to himself, and said: "Today's heroes are only Zhilong and Weier. !" Zhilong raised his wine glass upon hearing this, his face changed drastically, and he shouted: Tangmen Zhonglan, this wine is poisonous! . 3. The more curse words in classical Chinese, the better

Original publisher: *** Asia

Classic curse words in classical Chinese Part 1: Classic curse words in classical Chinese. Selected classic quotations of cursing: 1) You are wearing a monkey hat, 2) You are angry, and the one who takes a nap is not just me, 3) You are an old woman who is as old as your mother, 4) What can you do? 5) If it is not up to you to leave it to me, 6) why should I explain it? 7) Can a bird know the ambition of a swan? 8) Ding Dang should be at least two or three sentences long. 9) If it is really possible, 10) its number can be seen. The latest classic quotations of cursing people in classical Chinese 1) Birdman 2) Being old and not dead is a thief 3) There are six out of ten people who hate you, 4) Angry people, those who take a nap are not stopping me, 5) I get it immediately when I live in public, Anshi "poetry" and "book"! 6) Don’t take the blame for the past, 7) Since I haven’t lost my mind yet, I am unjustly accused. 8) The old thief with a beard and a common man will scold you Wang Lang to death! 9) You rats are very capable of extremely dirty things. 10) Inhuman? People go as expected and leave by appointment 11) Are you kind? 12) What can you do? 13) Shu Zi, shortcomings and strategies! 14) Why are there more than half of the students lying on the desk? 15) There are six out of ten people who dislike you, 16) Insufficiency and conspiracy! 17) What happened today is abominable. 18) Today I will close my eyes and take a nap. 19) Are you kind? 20) Only villains and women are difficult to raise. 21) Mother, sincere mother is not happy. 22) Why are there more than half of the students lying on the desk? 23) Which makes me angry. 24) If it is not up to you to leave it to me, 25) why should I explain it? 26) If it is really possible, 27) it should be no less than two or three sentences.

28) Straight bitch! 29) Today I am talking about taking a nap with my eyes closed, a collection of funny and cursed classic quotes 1) Incompletely evolved life forms, genetically mutated aliens, 2) Kindergarten-level high school students, frog heads born with Mongolian syndrome, 3) Mount Everest The abandoned baby of the snowman, the murderer of clogged septic tanks, 4) The descendants of Africans who have sex with black men, chimpanzees with imbalanced yin and yang, 5) The hippopotamus crushed by Noah's Ark, the new volcanic eruption, 6) How to find a girlfriend To go to the garden or even leave the earth, 7) If you want to commit suicide, someone will only advise you not to leave the body to avoid 4. Translate the following classical Chinese text

Translation:

"Wu Li" records: Like Sun Quan in the past, Sun Liang visited Zhongshu Province several times and asked the ministers on his left and right: "The late emperor has issued special instructions several times. Now that the general is asking about important matters, how about I give a written reply!" Sun Liang went to Xiyuan once and was about to eat. When the plums were growing, Huang Men was hurriedly asked to go back to the palace to get some honey so that he could eat them. After Huangmen took it, Sun Liang found rat droppings in it, so he summoned the management officials to ask about the reason, and the officials kowtowed hurriedly. Sun Liang asked the official: "Did Huangmen get the honey from you?" The official replied: "I want to pass it, but I dare not give it to him." Huangmen was not convinced, and his servants Diao Xuan and Zhang Yiqi said: "Huangmen and the officials have different opinions. Please hand it over to the prison officer and ask for the reason." Sun Liang said, "No need, this matter is very simple." He ordered the minister to cut open the rat feces and found that it was very dry. Sun Liang laughed and said to Diao Xuan and Zhang Bin: "If the shit was first in honey, it should be wet inside and outside. But today it is wet on the outside and dry on the inside. Huang Men must have done something wrong." Huang Men had to admit his mistake. , the ministers all marveled at Sun Liang's wisdom. 5. Classical Chinese translation of "Young Man's County Governance"

When Ziqi was sixteen years old, Qi Jun sent him to govern Ah. Then Qi Jun regretted it and sent his envoys to pursue him. The pursuer rebelled and said, "Zi Qi will definitely be able to cure it." Qi Jun said, "How do you know this?" He said, "Everyone has a white head. With the wisdom of an old man and the young man, he will surely be able to cure it." It's time to govern!" When Ziqi came to Ah, he melted the soldiers from the warehouse to make plows and went out of the warehouse to help the poor, and the county was under great rule. Wei heard that Tongzi was in charge of the city, but there were no soldiers in the treasury and no grain in the warehouse, so he raised troops to attack it. Aren's father led his son, and his brother led his younger brother. They fought with private troops and defeated the Wei army.

Translation:

When Ziqi was sixteen years old, the king of Qi sent him to govern A County. Soon, Qi Jun regretted his decision and sent people to chase him. The pursuer came back and said, "Zi Qi will be able to govern Ah County well. The people in the car are all old people. With the wisdom of the old people and the younger people making the final decision, Zi Qi will be able to govern Ah County well!" Zi Qi! He managed A County, forged weapons in the arsenal into farm tools, opened granaries to help poor people, and managed A County in an orderly manner. The people of the State of Wei heard that a child was governing A County, but there were no weapons in the arsenal and no grain in the granary, so they raised an army to attack A County (Qi State). The people of A County, father and son, encouraged each other and defeated them with their own weapons. defeated the Wei army. 6. What are some funny homemade jokes in classical Chinese?

1: There is a fish in the North Ming Dynasty, its name is Kun Kun Zhi Da

It cannot be stewed in one pot

It turns into The bird's name is Pengpengzhida

Two barbecue grills are needed

One is sugary and the other is slightly spicy

Let's get a bottle of snowflakes

Let We bravely venture into the end of the world

2: An official sits in court and occasionally farts, saying that he is refreshing. The officials didn't know it, and mistakenly thought that they were rewarding the officials. In the hope of being favored, they knelt down and said, "Thank you, sir, for the reward!"

3: A dead monkey met Pluto and asked for reincarnation. The king said: "If you want to become a human being, you must pluck out all the hair on your body." He called the yaksha to do it and pulled out one hair. The monkey was in great pain. The king laughed and said: "Beast, let's see how you can become a human being without plucking out a hair."

4: Wouldn’t it be great to have a friend come from afar, whip him dozens of times, and drive him away from another courtyard?

5: Confucius said: Fight with bricks, don’t mess with it, shine it on your face, keep breathing when you can’t breathe, use your right hand to finish the left hand, use shoes to break the bricks, go to death, How can one be alone until death, and how happy it is to have friends together?

Classical Chinese is a processed written language based on ancient Chinese. Processing may have occurred in the earliest written language based on spoken language. Classical Chinese is an article composed of a written language in ancient China. It mainly includes written language based on the spoken language of the Pre-Qin period.

During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, items for recording text had not yet been invented. Bamboo slips, silk and other items were used to record text. Silk was expensive, bamboo slips were bulky, and the number of words recorded was limited. In order to be able to write down "one roll" of bamboo slips For more things, delete unimportant words. Later, when "paper" was used on a large scale, the ruling class's habit of using "official documents" for their correspondence had been finalized, and the ability to use "classical Chinese" had evolved into a symbol of reading and literacy. Classical Chinese is relative to vernacular, and is characterized by writing based on characters, focusing on allusions, parallel antithesis, and neat rhythm. It includes various literary styles such as policy, poetry, lyrics, music, eight-legged essay, and parallel prose. In order to facilitate reading and understanding, classical Chinese texts in modern books are generally marked with punctuation marks.