Ancient and modern elegant jokes for recommendation

1 Once, a lady came to Lincoln and said confidently, "Mr. President, you must give my son a position as a colonel. We should have this right, because my grandfather took part in the battle of Lexington, my uncle was the only one who didn't escape in Bretton, my father took part in the battle of Na olins, and my husband died in Mantel, so …… "Lincoln replied," Madam, your family has served the country for three generations, and your contribution to the country is really great. I deeply respect this. Now can you give others a chance to serve your country? " The woman had nothing to say, so she had to leave quietly.

One day, one of Lincoln's friends told Lincoln with indignation that the other man was unreasonable. After hearing this, Lincoln said unfairly, "You should immediately write and denounce that unreasonable and hateful guy, and then break off diplomatic relations with him."

My friend immediately wrote a letter and gave the man a good scolding. After the letter was written, my friend gave it to Lincoln to read. Lincoln tore it up without reading it, and said with a smile, "I have written many such letters, but I never send them because I can't hurt others!" " "My friend's anger has been vented from the letter. After listening to Lincoln's advice, he was completely relieved.

Some people criticized President Lincoln's attitude towards political opponents: "Why do you try to be friends with them? You should try to attack them and destroy them. " "I'm not in the elimination of political opponents? When I let them be my friends, political enemies don't exist. " President Lincoln said gently.

President Eisenhower is bald, so is his finance minister George Humphrey. When they first met, Eisenhower shook hands with him and said, "George, I noticed that you comb your hair in exactly the same way as I do." Later, Humphrey often said that he would never forget Eisenhower's approachable style.

5. Deutert, the general of the German Air Force, is bald. At a banquet, a young soldier accidentally spilled wine on the general's head, and the whole audience was suddenly silent, and the soldiers were in awe. Then the general patted the soldier on the shoulder and said, "Brother, do you think this treatment will be effective?"

Davis is an environmental expert and a bald guy, always wearing a hat. Someone ridiculed him as "shattered glass", and Davies pointed to his head and said, "This is absolutely pure land. I must guard against the pollution from the outside world. "

7. Soviet leader Khrushchev was born bald and worked as a miner when he was young. The miner laughed at his baldness, which may be caused by malnutrition. Khrushchev immediately denied: "No, this is my mother's great masterpiece. Because she saw too many dark sides in today's world, she specially asked me to send you some light. "

1In August, 945, after War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression's victory, Mao Zedong went to Chongqing to participate in the negotiations. Chongqing literary and art circles invited him to give a speech. During the speech, someone asked with concern, "If the negotiations fail and the country goes to war, can you defeat Chiang Kai-shek?" After a pause, he said humorously, "Mr. Jiang's' Jiang' is a general's' General' with a grass on his head. He is just a "grass general". " With that, he smiled nobly. Someone asked with ulterior motives, "What about your hair ..." Before the man finished, he said without thinking, "My hair is not all hands and feet, but my backhand. The meaning is obvious. It is easy for the China Producers' Party, which represents the fundamental interests of the people of China, to defeat the Kuomintang, which represents the interests of a few people. " His explanation was not only profound and interesting, but also just right, which won warm applause from the scene.

9. A western reporter asked Premier Zhou: "Excuse me, Mr. Premier, are there any prostitutes in China now?" Many people wonder: how to ask such a question? What everyone cares about is Premier Zhou's answer. Premier Zhou said affirmatively, "Yes!"

There was an uproar and a lot of discussion. Premier Zhou saw everyone's doubts and added: "The prostitutes in China are in Taiwan Province Province, China." Suddenly the applause thundered. The reporter's question is vicious. He designed a trap for Premier Zhou. After the liberation of China, all brothels in the mainland were closed, and the original prostitutes have been transformed into self-reliant workers. The reporter thought: If you ask "Are there any prostitutes in China", Zhou Enlai will definitely say "No". Once you really answer like this, you will fall into his trap, and he will immediately say that "there are prostitutes in Taiwan Province Province". At this time, you can't say "Taiwan Province Province is not the territory of China". This is the malice of this question. Of course, Premier Zhou saw through his tricks at a glance. This answer not only saw through the sinister intention of splitting China's territory, but also reflected the contrast of good social atmosphere between the mainland and Taiwan Province Province. Alas, Premier Zhou is very thoughtful in his consideration of the problem, and at the same time, he reacts so quickly. It's hard not to admire him!