Classic passages from Qian Zhongshu's "The Besieged City"

1. It is said that "girlfriend" is the scientific name of "lover", which sounds more solemn, just like the biological name of rose is "rosaceae woody compound plant", or the legal term for divorce. It's a "divorce by agreement." Fang Hongjian spent two days in Hong Kong with Miss Su, and then he realized that girlfriends and lovers are actually completely different. Miss Su is the most ideal girlfriend. She has brains, status, and an attitude and appearance that can be considered a lady. She can go to restaurants and theaters with her without losing face. Although the two of them were very close, Fang Hongjian was confident that his friendship with her would end here. It was like two parallel straight lines, no matter how close they were to each other or how long they stretched, they would never come together to become one body. Only when Jiulong saw her blushing shyly before landing, his heart suddenly felt so weak that he had no strength to jump. He never felt this way again. He found that Miss Su had a lot of childish temperament. She could be naughty and coquettish, which Qiu had never expected. But for some reason, he always felt that this kind of girlish accent didn't suit Miss Su. It's not that she's older; she's not much older than Miss Bao, and every woman has the ability to rejuvenate herself in front of the man she loves. It can only be said that it is inappropriate in terms of character; for example, when a kitten chases its own tail in circles, we find it amusing, but the puppy also looks back and follows the short tail prong in pursuit, saying that the fun is reduced. The students who were on the same boat saw that he had just gone to Miss Bao, who had already been replaced by Miss Su, and they all laughed at him.

2. There are still three hours of lessons left for Hongjian to teach. Colleagues talked about it and everyone envied him for his leisure. It seemed that Gao Songnian was a little selfish and treated him specially. Hung Chien had little research on theory and had no reference at hand. Although he prepared diligently, he was not interested. These students come to his class simply for credit. According to the school charter, students in the School of Liberal Arts should take one elective course among the four subjects of physics, chemistry, biology, and theory. Most of them took the theory elective like a swarm of swarms. This homework is the easiest - "it's all nonsense" - not only do you not have to do experiments, but you can also sit back and stop writing notes when the weather is cold. Because the job is easy, they choose it; and because the job is easy, they look down on it, just like men look down on women who are easy to get. Neo-Confucianism is "nonsense", and the person who teaches Neo-Confucianism is of course "waste", "just an associate professor" and does not belong to any department. In their minds, Hongjian's status was not much higher than that of someone who taught party doctrine and military training. However, those who taught party doctrine and military affairs were sent by government agencies, and Hongjian did not have the background of these people's congresses. "I heard that he was Zhao Xinmei's cousin and came with him; Gao Songnian only hired him as a lecturer, and Zhao Xinmei fought for him." "Associate professor." No wonder Hongjian felt that the students in the class did not take listening as a matter of course. In this kind of atmosphere, lectures will not be effective. What's even more annoying is that the beginning of the theory is the most boring. Only when the syllogism is introduced can some jokes be interspersed. It cannot cater to psychology for the time being. In addition, two things also made Hongjian uneasy.

One is the roll call. Hongjian remembered that the famous professor among his teachers never called the students by name or reported their students' absence from class. This is the demeanor of a great scholar: "You can listen if you want, I don't care." He was envious and could not help but imitate. In the first lesson, he sang the names of the new-born animals like Adam in the Book of Genesis. From now on, he didn’t even bring a roll call book. By the second week, he found that seven or eight of the more than fifty students were absent. These empty seats were like a mouth of teeth suddenly hanging out, leaving holes that made him feel uncomfortable. The next time, he noticed that the female students were still clinging to their original seats in the first row, the male students seemed to have sat up from the last row, the second row was empty, and there was a male student sitting alone in the third row. While I was observing the formation, the male students all lowered their heads with naughty smiles. The female students followed my gaze and looked back, then turned to look at me and smiled. He finally managed not to say: "Obviously, my power to reject you is greater than the power of my female classmates to attract you." He thought that in the future, he would have to be named by name. If this continues, only chairs and tables with legs but no ability to move around would be left to listen to the class. However, it is so embarrassing to suddenly change from the laissez-faire of a university scholar to the pettiness of an elementary school teacher. These students are cunning and must have seen through their own intentions.

One is to teach. It's like the size of the fabric is not enough and you have to make clothes that fit you. I thought I had prepared enough materials, but when I got to class, I realized that I was speaking so fast that I had almost all the notes in my notes, and it would take a while before get out of class was over before I could type. A blank time with nothing to say, like a white expanse of water, coming straight towards the car with the motor running at full speed, looking anxious but with nowhere to hide.

In a panic, I found something to say. I couldn't say a few words and then finished. I peeked at my watch and saw that it only lasted half a minute. At this time, my body became hot, my face turned red, my speech began to stutter, and I felt that the students were laughing secretly. Once, it was like a person who had been starved for several days and took laxatives. He couldn't express anything, so he had to leave class a quarter of an hour early. Talking to Xinmei, I found out that he felt the same way and said that after all, a new teacher has no experience. Xinmei also said: "Now I understand why foreigners say 'kill time' to express the sadness of those few minutes before class is over! I really wish I could cut it into two parts." Hongjian recently invented a method, Although it cannot kill time all at once, at least it can suffer some fatal injuries. He always writes on the blackboard. It takes ten words to write one word on the blackboard. My face is covered with white powder on my hands and my arms are sore for a long time. It’s all worth it, at least I won’t leave early in the future. However, these students were not very enthusiastic about taking notes, and he often spoke very laboriously. A few of them sat without writing a word while he stared at them menacingly, while they lazily wrote on their notebooks. Hongjian got angry and thought that he was not as bad as Li Meiting. Why was his class so listless while the students in Li Meiting's "History of Social Customs of the Qin and Han Dynasties" class next door were laughing so much.

3. Western donkey drivers would hang a bunch of carrots in front of the donkey's eyes and on its lips whenever the donkey refused to go and the whip was useless. The stupid donkey thought that if he took one step forward, the carrot would reach his mouth, so he continued to move forward step by step. The more his mouth wanted to bite, the more his feet got better at driving, and unknowingly he came to another stop. Whether it can eat the bunch of radishes at that time depends on the donkey driver's happiness. In all institutions, superiors use this technique to control their subordinates; for example, Gao Songnian allowed Hongjian to promote him to professor next semester. Since Xin Mei left, Hongjian has had enough of the carrot of upgrading, and suddenly his mouth is no longer hungry, and he wants to find another way out after the summer vacation. He only planned to return the original property when the job offer came, along with a letter criticizing the school administration as a parting message to vent his anger over the past year. He has not yet decided on the wording of this letter in detail because he does not know what kind of offer the principal's office has given him. Sometimes he hoped that the appointment would still be as an associate professor, so that he could reply confidently and blame Gao Songnian for breaking his promise. Sometimes he hopes to hire him and promote him to professor. In this way, his letter can be more beautiful, showing that his dissatisfaction is not due to personal grudges, but purely for business. Unexpectedly, Gao Songnian spared him the trouble of drafting a manuscript and writing a letter, so he simply didn't send him an appointment. Miss Sun actually has an employment contract, and her salary has been raised one level. Some people said that this was a joke made by Gao Songnian and deliberately divided the two of them. Gao Songnian himself said that this was an impartial decision on his part and he would never burden his fiancée for the sake of his fiancé - "Don't say they are not married yet, even if they are married and have children, the husband's ideological problems cannot be punished. "Wives and children, this is what democratic style should be when running higher education in the Republic of China in the 20th century." Hongjian knew that Miss Sun had received the appointment letter, and quickly inquired about other colleagues, only to find that appointments for the next semester had been generally issued, including Han Xueyu's. All the foreign ladies were on the list of candidates, but I was the only one who looked like the tailless fox in Aesop's fable. This anger made his head hot and his body cold. There is no need for planned actions and words, and the boredom ferments in the heart. This is even more unpleasant than having a student learn a lesson and then suddenly have his exam postponed. When Gao Songnian met, he always smiled and acted as if nothing had happened. People who work in administration have their own way of socializing. Between people, no matter how arrogant or bad-tempered they are, the closer the smiles are, the more thoughtful the politeness, and the deeper the mutual suspicion or resentment. Takamatsu has not yet reached his age, and his smile and politeness are like antiques imitated by poor hands, full of flaws, and it is obvious at a glance that they are fake. Hongjian wanted to question him several times, but he changed his mind and held back. In a quarrel, the one who speaks first does not necessarily have the upper hand; the one who speaks last is the winner. Gao Songnian looked unmoved, he must have calculated his success and made a rash provocation. If he didn't come to Taiwan, he would laugh at him and make a fuss. People always said that Fang's job would be ruined, and he would become angry from shame. Giving him a nonchalant expression shows that he doesn't care about his job, which is a great way to save face. What is unbearable is the attitude of my colleagues. They seemed to be fully aware of their dismissal, but since it had not been made public, their sympathy had to be wrapped in an envelope and presented in a secretive way. Often people who are usually distant from each other suddenly visit. He knew they were here just to catch a breath, so he didn't say a word about it, but the regret in their spirits and words was always like the gifts Santa Claus put in his stockings, which he wouldn't leave until after they were delivered.

This kind of sympathy was more uncomfortable than laughing and scolding. As soon as the guest turned his back, Hongjian gritted his teeth and cursed in a combination of Chinese and Western: "To hell, get out of here!"

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