Want to hear a pink joke ~

Two ladies are complaining about the crowded bus now, which makes them very miserable. One said, "I'm really unlucky!" I was squeezed in the car. " One said, "I'm unlucky!" The car is so crowded that I'm pregnant. "

A man went to a brothel and asked a woman the price. The woman replied: 50 yuan. The man saw it was cheap and did it. The woman said: Please pay 100 yuan. The man asked her why. The woman replied that she was in and out of 50 yuan. The man said angrily: You fucking move in China, and you charge in two ways!

Beijing-Kowloon Railway is open to traffic, and farmers along it look. A female passenger on the bus came for a holiday, corrected the paper, and went out the window. The paper stuck to the farmer's face, and the farmer took it off and said, honey, it was so fast! A piece of paper can break your nose and bleed!

That night, my husband was reading in bed. He puts his hand between his wife's legs from time to time. Wife undresses and coquetry. The husband asked, why? The wife asked, What are your hands doing? The husband said solemnly: wet hands. Turning pages is easy!

One day, a monk met a nun and wrote a couplet: the first part: I didn't hang up during the day; The second part: I hung up at night; Part II: I am very free! The first couplet of a nun: daytime hole. The second couplet: the hole is empty at night. Cross: The request (ball) is answered.

Anhui has been famous for its wine since ancient times: a girl with her legs crossed and full of alcohol; Young men's legs are lifted, and gold seed wine; The old lady lifts her legs and Gu Jing salutes; As soon as the old man's legs are lifted, the holy spring will dry beer! Your legs are up, Chivalrous Spring Wine!

A student studying in the United States went home to visit relatives, boasting: American factories are advanced in technology, pigs are brought in, and sausages are introduced! His father was very angry when he saw that he worshiped foreign things and admired foreigners. He said, your mother and I are better. I pushed the sausage in and a live pig came out!

The twins are chatting in their mother's belly. The boss said: Dad is a nice person and often sticks his head out to see us. He just doesn't like hygiene, so he throws up and leaves. The second said, it's better to be an uncle next door. After vomiting, he put the sputum in a bag.

The man can't go home for a long time, and his wife is very uncomfortable. One day, before he asked his wife to take down the mirror, she happily did so. He separated his wife's legs, put his chin on her vagina and asked her, Do I look good with a beard?

The condom said to the sanitary napkin, "I'm really afraid of you." Every time you go to work, I have no business for a week. " The sanitary napkin was angry: "Don't pretend, if you are a little fucking negligent, my business will be ruined in ten months."

The host asked: Can cats climb trees? The eagle replied first: Yes! Compere: Give an example! The eagle burst into tears: that year, I fell asleep, the cat climbed the tree … and then there was the owl …

An old man went to Gaochao Village to do business by bus. On the way, I asked the waitress: Is the climax here? The waitress said, not yet. After a while, he asked: Has the climax arrived yet? The waiter said, what's the hurry, bad old man I'll scream when the orgasm comes!

A lady ordered a stir-fried whip flower while eating, and accidentally fell between her legs when picking vegetables. The young lady was shocked: this thing is really amazing! Cooked and chopped, it actually knows the way!

On the bus, a young man saw a beautiful woman with a low collar and spring leaked out. He joked,' It's really a place where peach blossoms bloom.' Hearing this, the beauty lifted her skirt and said,' There is still room for you to have children and raise me!

The rooster is on a business trip for a month. When he came back, he heard that quail was getting old. The rooster became suspicious. Two days later, the hen laid a quail egg. The cock was furious, and the hen hurriedly explained: premature birth!

The girl came home in the middle of the night and was attacked by seven thugs. When she was in danger, an aunt stepped forward and saved the raped girl. In a radio interview, the aunt said: actually, I didn't think about anything at that time. I just don't think this good thing can be completely cheap, that little slut!

The butcher was arrested for whoring and issued a receipt. One day, the butcher and his wife found this receipt, but they only knew 4000 yuan and didn't know the word' whoring'. They asked the butcher: what is a fine of 4000 yuan? The butcher replied: punish me for injecting water into the meat!

A gentleman was drunk and accidentally threw up in the ladies' room. It happened that a woman was urinating, and a gentleman was angry and said,' You said you didn't drink, why did you pour wine? The woman stopped suddenly, but she didn't expect to hold her breath. You were furious:' Who the fuck opened another bottle! '

The leader of the unit made a concluding speech: the reasons for our poor work are as follows: First, we slept like a widow and there was no one on it; Second, like a prostitute, the coat is always changed; Third, just like sleeping with a wife, our own people are always screwing our own people.

I was arrested on September 28th. 1949. On the first day, the enemy beat me up, and I didn't confess. The next day, the enemy threw pepper water at me, and I didn't ask; On the third day, the enemy confessed with a honey trap; On the fourth day, I wanted to confess that I was fucking liberated.

A Japanese woman is taking a bath in the sauna and wants to find a China macho man to give her a bath. When the macho man was rubbing, he suddenly had a high sexual desire and inserted his penis into his shame. Japanese woman is furious: What are you doing? The macho man said: wipe inside!

Two history teachers get married, both for the second time; After entering the bridal chamber, the woman went out to ask for the alliance: the night attack on Pearl Harbor frightened the beauty (fine); The man is right: two atomic bombs, Japan and Germany (had to) surrender; Horizontal batch: World War II!

A flea cried his misfortune to his partner: I used to live by a man's beard, but it took me a long time to reach a woman's pubic hair. As a result, I woke up the next morning and found myself growing back on a man's beard!

Ni Ping had a bullwhip when he visited Mengcheng, which was delicious. What is that? Feng Gong said, there are cows! The cow said, Feng Gong also has it! Ni Ping asked: Do I have it on me? Both of them replied: sometimes, sometimes not.

A fool has been married for half a year and has no children. My father asked my son if he had done anything, but he didn't understand. My dad said to hit your daughter-in-law with the hardest part of your body. The next day, her daughter-in-law said to him, your son is crazy. He's been banging his head against the urinal all night!

Beautiful women urinate urgently, urinate on the side of the road, there is no paper, wipe it with leaves. The leaves have thorns and the genitals are very painful. The beauty was unhappy and said, "I can't stand eating meat all day and coming back with vegetables."

The village chief came home drunk in the middle of the night, lying in the pigsty by mistake, and asked his wife to pour him water. The sow snorted a few times, and the village chief said, "Forget it, why bother!" " Reaching for the pig's milk, he smiled and said, "Shit, I bought inferior leather clothes again, and it's double-breasted!" "

Women have small breasts and are difficult to marry. When dating, the man asked if there were any buns, and the woman said yes! ! The man then agreed to get married. On the wedding night, the man ran out of the bridal chamber and shouted, "Oh, my God, Wang Zi steamed bread!" " "

It is said that a man has an affair with a woman. After entering, the man lay motionless on the woman's body and said gently, we are together now, and the woman is a little unhappy. The man violently attacked, and the woman shouted: Mobile is better than Unicom.

Eight don't understand: you don't drink the toast, the leader touches it first, the leader goes by car, the leader talks a long story, the leader talks nonsense, the leader takes a shower first, the leader turns over the table, and the leader listens to the cards and you touch it yourself.

A man went to the toilet after drinking. When he came back, he said to his companion, "This hotel has a good business. Even the toilet has two tables!" So I continued to drink. Immediately, a group of people rushed into the room, pinned the man down and fought. The companion asked him why, and replied, "This kid just goes to our private room to pee!" " "

The man took off his clothes and showed his girlfriend his biceps, saying, "This is equivalent to 50 kilograms of explosives." Then he took off his pants and pointed to his thigh and said, "This is equivalent to 100 kg of explosives." Then he took off his underwear, and his girlfriend ran to the door and exclaimed, "Oh, my God! The lead is so short

On the bus, a man ran into anonymous, and the woman was furious and said, you can't stand on three legs! The man waved his hand and said, forget it. I won't argue with you. You're full of it anyway

The husband came home and found his wife and doctor lying in bed. Doctor: Don't get me wrong, I'm taking her temperature. Husband: If what you put into my wife's body has no scale, you are dead.

A man was walking through a cemetery in the middle of the night when he heard a knock at the door. The more he listened, the more afraid he became. Finally, he saw a man carving a tombstone. I was relieved and said to the other party: I almost scared me to death! What are you doing? They carved my name wrong. I'll change it!

A soldier disguised as a man went to war one day, and his period suddenly came, and his ass was red. The company commander asked, "Where are you hurt?" The female soldier quickly said, "No, nothing." The company commander quickly took off her pants and was surprised: "What if * * * * blows up?"

The ant married the elephant, but the elephant died a few days later. The ant was very sad and cried and scolded: Dear, why did you walk in front of me? I don't have to do anything in my fucking life, so I buried you.

Tang Priest met a banshee in the Western Heaven, observed that her breasts and buttocks were relatively fat, and wanted to have sex. When she saw this scene, the banshee shouted, Elder! My little girl is afraid of having sex when she menstruates! Hearing this, the Tang Priest folded his hands: Amitabha, I'm here to learn from the scriptures!

The camel and the elephant met on the road, and the elephant said strangely, hey, why did your chest grow on your back? That's weird. The camel was unhappy and said, die, go away, I won't talk to jj's face.

The director and the driver went to the show together. When they arrived at the door, the security guard let the director in and stopped the driver. The driver said indignantly, he and I are a system. Let me in. Security guards should also be unreasonable: jj and maruko are also a system. If the penis goes in, the balls can't go in. Driver: Yes. . . . .