What if the other party doesn't agree to divorce? What if the other party doesn't agree to sign a divorce?

Tang Tang talks about divorce proceedings, marriage and family professional consultation and mediation, and consult WeChat 9352 162 1.

Divorce is one of the most important decisions in life, and there is no way. When the marriage comes to an end, most parties want to divorce through friendly agreement, but it is not so easy and simple in real life. At least one million couples fail to reach an agreement on divorce every year (for relevant data, please refer to the Judicial Big Data Special Report on Divorce Disputes published by the Supreme People's Court). If the "Civil Code" divorce cooling-off period policy starts to operate next year, many small partners who want to divorce will be even more desperate. Now think about it: those who can successfully handle divorce are lucky. If it is really irreparable, unable to communicate, and the divorce is better than it is now, and the other party refuses to agree to the divorce, refuses to sign it, or even delays it, we need to calm down and analyze the countermeasures besides sulking and fidgeting, and see how to reach an agreement with the other party smoothly and strive for a good reunion.

Let's analyze: what is the reason why the other party does not agree to divorce? I have handled more than 5,000 divorce cases, and I have summarized the following situations:

①: The other party doesn't agree to divorce because they still have feelings for you: for example, the husband and wife were college classmates, first love, fellow villagers, etc., and they had wonderful experiences and memories together, such as the couple who started their business together from scratch, or you are excellent and have paid a lot for TA for the family. TA is both grateful and embarrassed, and hopes to take the opportunity to make amends. Or the other person really loves you and is reluctant to leave you, and the other person's feelings are more single-minded and nostalgic. When TA saw that you had made up your mind to leave, his heart was also struggling. Although there is no positive expression to be with you, in fact, TA is very painful and regretful. You may not see TA's tears, but TA's heart is bleeding. Some people don't express these feelings. Just because you can't see the pain of TA doesn't mean that TA is not painful.

This type is very common, and it is often the object I want to help save in my work. Even if the rescue is unsuccessful, the two sides will get together and separate. This kind of couple, whether it is the marriage registration office or the court, whether it is the aunt of the neighborhood Committee, the three aunts and six grandmothers or relatives and friends, will find ways to help you solve the contradictions in your marriage and strive for the opportunity to recover.

This kind of couple, I have saved at least a few hundred since I worked, right? Of course, rescue is not fire fighting, and superficial persuasion and non-persuasion can't solve the problem. When a person wants a divorce, TA doesn't want to leave each other. No one gets married for divorce. TA wants a divorce because his married life has disappointed him and even made him miserable. What TA wants to leave is not marriage, but pain, disappointment and despair. Therefore, to save their marriage, we should not rely on legal policies to force them back, but find out their real contradictions and sort out the problems in marriage, such as communication, such as housework distribution, such as money, family relations, children's education, sexual relations and so on. Only when their problems are improved and they are happy can their marriage be truly stable. Otherwise, after a month of calm, they will appear in court again.

②: Secondly, the other party's refusal to divorce is trying to save it: TA is trying to save it in various ways, and she still has hope for your marriage and feelings, so she should make one last effort for your marriage.

③ Third, the other party doesn't agree to divorce because TA doesn't really realize the problem and its importance, and is dealing with the marriage crisis in some backward or useless ways: some people think that you are unreasonable, that you are not calm, and that you are just hot-headed. He closes his ears and thinks you're too emotional, so maybe you'll be fine.

Case: I handled a case a few years ago. My wife is hysterical and divorced. He was forced to find an excuse to run out when the Civil Affairs Bureau wanted to sign it. Then he came to me for advice. He said, "My father-in-law told me to ignore my wife because my mother-in-law was very angry when she was young. Every time my mother-in-law has an attack, my father-in-law has an excuse to travel for a few days. My father-in-law said let me give it a cold treatment. The more I pay attention to her, the more noisy she is. " I said, "Times are different now. This kind of cold treatment used to work, but now it can't work. You should pay attention to the other person's emotions, otherwise she can file a divorce lawsuit unilaterally. " Sure enough, from then on, his wife really stopped arguing and stopped looking for him. Three months later, he received a subpoena from the court and seized the property, bank account and company equity under his name.

Fourthly, the other party doesn't agree to divorce, because he thinks that life can still be lived: some people think that the communication between husband and wife is not good, and life can't go on, so it must be solved. This is a big deal. However, some people think that life can go on without a husband and wife, rough hands or even an extramarital affair. What you think is serious, TA doesn't think it's serious, you think life can't go on, TA thinks it's just a small contradiction.

This concept generally comes from TA's growing environment and family background. Maybe TA grew up in an environment where chickens fly and dogs jump, or there are many conflicts, so it is different from your feelings and standards.

⑤: Fifth, the reason why the other party refuses to divorce is because of the child: He may not have feelings for you, but he has feelings for the child. There is no denying that some dads really love their children.

Cases handled yesterday: The man played games with his daughter every day, read books with her, took her to interest classes and regarded her as a friend. However, after the trial, the custody judgment was obviously unfavorable to him. As soon as he heard that his daughter might not award it to him, his heart ached and his tears could not help falling. He can't stand the separation of his daughter from himself. Finally, with our help, he got a better settlement than the verdict, and he did not separate from his daughter.

⑥: Sixth, the reason why the other party refuses to divorce is because of nostalgia. The concept is more traditional, thinking that divorce is a faceless thing, and you can't face the life after divorce, such as feeling that you can't afford to wait in front of relatives, friends and classmates.

⑦: Seventh, the reason why the other party refused to divorce was because he was not prepared psychologically, because TA felt that divorce was a failure, a setback and a denial and attack on TA's personal value. TA can't face it, and TA can't accept being abandoned.

8: Eighth: The other party is hesitant and evasive. You said you wouldn't leave, and you didn't have the courage to stand up and discuss how to improve. You always avoid contradictions. You use the old method of your parents' generation to put it off until you can, and you think you can stand it.

The first eight kinds are more common in marriage registration offices.

The types I want to talk about below are the ones I have seen in court. They don't really want to improve the relationship between husband and wife, or even if they say they want to improve the relationship, they have no substantive actions, and even have words and deeds that undermine the relationship between the two. So procrastination is not good for you.

①: The first type: The reason why the other party refuses to divorce is because he can't find someone better than you. TA divorce is not for your happiness, but for TA's own practical interests and TA's face.

②: Second, the reason why the other party refuses to divorce is because he is unwilling to divide the property. For example, if a husband and wife buy a house together after marriage, they will face real estate division in divorce, especially in first-and second-tier cities, where a suite costs 35 million yuan at a time. Once divorced, the house will be given to either the man or the woman. The party without a house has to spend thousands of dollars to rent it again every month, and the party who gets the property has to pay half the value of the property to the other party. For example, if the net value of the house is 4 million, if you get your own property after divorce, you have to give the other party 2 million in cash. Whether it is to give a house or cash, TA is unwilling, so the divorce has been put on hold, delayed and undecided.

Tell a joke: there is a family whose father divorced again after two marriages. 1 1 year-old son said to his father, "Dad, you can't get a divorce. Last time you divorced your mother, the house was cut in half. If you divorce your aunt this time, the house will be divided into half, and we have no place to live! "

Second marriage and divorce, whether the house should be divided into half depends on the situation, but this joke really makes people laugh and cry!

③: Thirdly, the reason why the other party refuses to divorce is because your relationship may be tense, and TA is afraid that she will not see the children after the divorce.

Nowadays, many couples can't get divorced, so they take their children back to their parents' homes or hide them, one for separation and the other for other legal purposes. I solve this problem every day. Many defendants are not concerned about money, housing or divorce. The most uncomfortable thing for TAs is that they haven't seen their children for almost half a year. Only by solving the children's problems can we calm down and talk about property distribution and other issues.

Fourthly, the reason why the other party refuses to divorce is to delay and transfer the property.

Especially when your husband and wife's assets are still increasing in value and the other party can enjoy the success, it is very common. At this time, some countermeasures are needed to solve this malicious delay.

⑤: Fifth, the reason why the other party refuses to divorce is that he is angry with you and doesn't want you to succeed smoothly.

6. Sixthly, it is a tactic for the other party to say no divorce in court, with the purpose of turning passivity into initiative, hoping to force you to make concessions in property or other aspects in order to get a divorce in a hurry.

⑦: Seventh, the other party has the victim psychology: there is a kind of person who will think that my current failure is caused by you. You said you should end it and leave it. I was ordered to go around like a swing, and TA couldn't swallow this breath. Others have encountered setbacks in their lives, such as unemployment, illness and being beaten by fate once. Now they are going to suffer emotional setbacks and be abandoned by you. TA can't stand this series of blows, can't adjust at once, and can't face and overcome this setback.

8. Eighth: Some people think that they have no face as divorce defendants. I can see three or five such cases every year. As the defendant, TA did not agree to divorce. After receiving the judgment that divorce is not allowed, TA immediately found a lawyer to sue herself as a plaintiff to sue for divorce.

Pet-name ruby: Ninth: The other party has manipulation psychology. For example, your husband and wife, TA has always been the master and has the right to speak. TA is strong, you are weak. Generally, TA has the final say, as long as you obey. This time, you should turn passivity into initiative, challenge TA's prestige and take the initiative to force TA to divorce. TA felt humiliated and out of control, and refused to agree to divorce anyway. He thinks that agreeing to divorce is a compromise, that is, obeying your wishes and bowing to you. In the concept of TA, only TA is allowed to be dissatisfied with you, and the weak can't be allowed to deny TA, don't want TA, and sweep the prestige of TA, so I don't agree anyway. This phenomenon is relatively rare in developed areas and areas where men and women are equal, but more common in areas where boys are preferred to girls.

The above nine situations are relatively common in court and need to be handled according to specific circumstances. In either case, we have cases of successful negotiation and mediation to achieve a win-win situation almost every day.

Law is rigid and inflexible, and it is a sharp weapon, but it is not the best and preferred weapon. If you really make up your mind to leave, more than 80% of marriage and family cases can be solved flexibly by using experience and skills, and the effect is much better than that of court decisions, that is, saving the country's money, energy, time and a lot of judicial resources.