Classic lines of 2008 Spring Festival Evening sketch.

Article: Street Guard, Actor: During, Zhou Wei, Cecilia Han.

Cecilia Han: Are you married or not?

Period: How dare you driving without a license?

Cecilia Han: Do you really want to tear it?

Q: Isn't this a real tear? You think it is pure cotton!

Essay: Dream Home, actors: Guo Da, Cai Ming, Wang Ping.

Cai Ming: Why?

Cai Ming: The property has gone to harvest wheat.

Guo Da: The Spring Festival is coming, so we have to harvest wheat again.

Cai Ming: They are planting wheat again.

Guo Da: 100 is inconvenient for developers. What should I do?

Cai Ming: Don't worry, your property right is only 70 years.

Guo Da: Didn't the map say there were swans and goldfish? Where are the fish?

Cai Ming: It was eaten by a swan.

Guo Da: What about swans?

Cai Ming: I'm full and flying! !

Essay: A Military Wife Going to the Island, by Sun Tao, Huang Xiaojuan, Jin Yuting and Yin Beishen.

Sun Tao: Sister-in-law, drag your fist down hard, and the sound will come from above.

Huang Xiaojuan: ... the chicken is good and the pork is good. ...

Sun Tao: Sister-in-law, let's stop talking about animals and talk about people.

Sun Tao: He said the child's name would be anything.

Huang Xiaojuan: Lao Sun, you are so talented that everyone knows your name.

Huang Xiaojuan: Monitor, drag your fist down hard, and the sound will come from above.

Crosstalk dramas: Bus Harmony, Feng Gong, Wang, etc.

Feng Gong: I carry it, and Li Yong carries it. I made a directional mistake.

Feng Gong: This is a little turtle's ass, a new turtle.

Pan Binlong: My grandson didn't keep up, and then he pretended.

Wang: Don't bring your sister-in-law.

Feng Gong: Can I not take her? If she doesn't know where my money is spent, she won't beat me to death.

Essay: news figures, Guo, Zhou Tao.

Guo: I saw a man jump and disappear, and a man jumped and disappeared, so I jumped.

Zhou Tao: You don't know that you can't swim.

Guo: I won't know until I go down.

Zhou Tao: People say that he is not such a person.

Guo: Don't interact at this time.

Papers: Unlocking, Huang Hong, Gong Hanlin, Lin Yongjian, Dong Qing.

Huang Hong: Lock up the money, just a key, and the daughter-in-law still holds it. That's how the top leader came from.

Huang Hong: Lesbians, lesbians, you should give gifts before marriage and manage your finances after marriage.

Huang Hong: Wedding photos may also be fake.

Lin Yongjian: Online. You can give me your head and my ass ... and Emperor Taizong can hug Britney Spears. ...

Gong Hanlin: Now couples don't necessarily live together. People who live together are not necessarily lovers.

Lin Yongjian: In the past, only one lock was used for a key, which was originally matched. Now you can use several keys to open a lock and match them randomly.

Essay: Torchbearer, Zhao Benshan, Song Dandan, Liu Liu.

Song Dandan: Raise your left hand to drink water, raise your right hand to shut up, raise your left foot leg press, and raise your right foot to kiss.

Song Dandan: Press it quickly. This is not an ordinary leg. This is the leg of the future torchbearer.

Zhao Benshan: Ham.

Zhao Benshan: I'll press your stomach later, and I'll have a plate of ham sausage.

Liu Liu: What are we worried about?

Song Dandan: Football.

Liu Liu: What are we more worried about?

Song Dandan: Football in China.

Liu Liu: Who runs fastest in history?

Song Dandan: Cao Cao. Speak of the devil.

Liu Liu: One horizontal and one solid ... What's the word?

Song Dandan: Wood.

Liu Liu: How about adding a wider one?

Song Dandan: Bed.

Liu Liu: How about another piece of wood?

Zhao Benshan: Plus a wooden double bed.

Song Dandan: More than a dozen people.

Zhao Benshan: That's Kang.

Zhao Benshan: Actually, I am not the fire of life, I am parallel. ...

Zhao Benshan: OK. (Applause yourself)

Song Dandan and Zhao Benshan: Sorry, I'm not finished.