The complete lines of the 2012 skit about Jing Ke assassinating the King of Qin. Thank you. God, please help me.

Huang Hong: Happy New Year everyone. Those who deliver lunch boxes, those who deliver lunch boxes to groups. I understand the history of Jing Ke’s assassination of Qin Dynasty. Jing Ke assassinated Qin Shihuang. Qin Shihuang dodged left and right without haste, and drew his sword to chop Jing Ke. Shao Feng: Why are you shouting here? We are filming here. Huang Hong: My son, aren’t you a director? Shao Feng: I played the role of a eunuch. Huang Hong: It’s so similar. It’s time to eat. It’s time to eat. Shao Feng: You just know what to eat, really. Huang Hong: What happened? The shooting didn’t go smoothly? Shao Feng: The actor to play Qin Shihuang hasn't arrived yet. The director has said that no one can eat until the scene is finished. Huang Hong: Doesn’t this mean that the emperor is not as anxious as the eunuchs? Shao Feng: Dad, what are you doing? Huang Hong: It’s cold and the food will get cold soon. Shao Feng: The actor said that your lunch smells like your coat. Huang Hong: My coat still smells like box lunch. Huang Hong: Let me tell you, if a eunuch doesn’t have a son, you can’t have a father. Shao Feng: Dad, the extras are not available. This is the director's responsibility. Come on, dad, put this on. Huang Hong: What’s wrong with this? Shao Feng: Dad, do me a favor. Huang Hong: How can I help you? Shao Feng: You help me play the emperor. Huang Hong: Qin Shihuang? Shao Feng: Yes. Huang Hong: I can’t. Shao Feng: Why can't you play Qin Shihuang? Don't you often tell us that in our play Qin Shihuang is a supporting role and Jing Ke is the protagonist. Huang Hong: I can’t. Shao Feng: Do you want to act? Huang Hong: No, if you don’t act, you won’t be able to send lunch boxes in the future. Shao Feng: If the director fired me, why would you give me a lunch box? Huang Hong: I can’t act. Shao Feng: Just say in front of the director that you are not the one delivering lunch boxes, don’t say he is my father. Huang Hong: I can’t say that the person delivering the lunch box is not your father. Shao Feng: Yes, remember? Huang Hong: Remember, I can’t. Shao Feng: Qin Shihuang has arrived. Your Majesty, please. Huang Hong: I said I can't do this. Shao Feng: Don't go, don't panic. Sha Yi: Listen up, I'll reiterate it for the last time. If the emperor's scene is not finished, no one will be able to eat. Huang Hong: The director has a really bad temper. Shao Feng: Why don't you say he is the father? Come and follow me. Let me introduce you to the director. This is the actor who plays Qin Shihuang. This is the director. Huang Hong: Dad. Sha Yi: What do you call me? Shao Feng: This teacher is straddling a play. In the last play, he played a son who called everyone daddy. Sha Yi: I'm in the mood. Huang Hong: I also acted in another play as a director, and I called everyone I saw my son. Sha Yi: Has the price been negotiated? Huang Hong: 12 yuan a box. Shao Feng: 12 yuan a day. Sha Yi: The price is quite low, where is it? Shao Feng: From the Provincial Repertory Theater Company. Huang Hong: Director, how do you know that I am from the Provincial Repertory Theater Company? I have been retired for several years. Sha Yi: Have you ever played the role of an emperor? Shao Feng: I have played Emperor Kangxi, Emperor Yongzheng, and Monk Daoji. Huang Hong: He’s not an emperor, he’s playing a monk. Sha Yi: This teacher is very humorous. All departments should listen carefully. Our teacher is an old actor, so we will try to get over it in a while. I'll dress up too. Shao Feng: The maids dressed up for the emperor. Huang Hong: Wait a moment. Shao Feng: What? Huang Hong: Why are there still maids? Shao Feng: You have three thousand beauties in your harem. Huang Hong: I still have a harem drama? Shao Feng: Whatever you want, this is the scene. Huang Hong: That’s good. I’m afraid I’ll be sorry for your mother. Shao Feng: Let the ladies in the palace dress up for the emperor. Let me tell you, you play the role of Qin Shihuang. In the first sentence, you say who will be next. Jing Ke, the envoy of the State of Yan, pays homage to your lord. In the second sentence, please ask Jing Ke to present. Come up, yeah. Huang Hong: Yeah. Shao Feng: Dad, don’t tell me how much you look like this. Huang Hong: Who is coming next? Shao Feng: The second sentence. Huang Hong: How can Yan Guolai be sincere? In the third sentence, Jing Ke was asked to present it, but there was no Yeah. Shao Feng: No Yeah. Huang Hong: No Yeah. Shao Feng: No Yeah. Huang Hong: Is there Yeah? Shao Feng: Yeah, no need to say. Huang Hong: No need to tell me what to do. Aren't you making trouble? Just say a few words and then we'll start dinner. Shao Feng: OK. Sitting on the dragon throne. Sha Yi: Try to get through. Has the meal come? Huang Hong: Here we are, four dishes, one soup, and two new eggs. Sha Yi: Get ready, start. Shao Feng: The envoy comes to see you. Huang Hong: Who laid the eggs? Sha Yi: Stop.

Shao Feng: What eggs did you lay? Sha Yi: Teacher, it doesn’t matter. The first point is, we just pretend that we are not dead. Huang Hong: Thank you, director. Sha Yi: Stand, remember, stand. Huang Hong: OK. Sha Yi: Attention all departments, here’s another one. Shao Feng: Stand. Huang Hong: Stop. Sha Yi: Get ready. Shao Feng: The envoy is here. stand. Huang Hong: Who lays eggs standing up, who lays eggs while kneeling, and who lays eggs lying down? Sha Yi: Teacher, do I look like a chicken? Huang Hong: Director, you don’t look like a chicken, but this posture does look like laying eggs. At first glance, you can tell that you have raised chickens and had a living. You can lay eggs lying down, but they will break if you lay eggs standing up. Shao Feng: Director. Sha Yi: Did you find it? Shao Feng: Yes. Sha Yi: How much does it cost per day for a provincial repertory troupe? Shao Feng: 12 yuan a day. Sha Yi: Attention all departments, here’s another one. Huang Hong: I said I couldn’t come. All I could think about was box lunches. I couldn’t perform this. Shao Feng: Dad, please don’t think about the lunch box. As long as you don’t think about the lunch box, you can perform well. The envoy is here. Huang Hong: Who laid the eggs? Sha Yi: Jing Ke, the envoy of Yan State. Huang Hong: How can Yan be sincere? Shao Feng: You are wrong. Huang Hong: Who is wrong? Sha Yi: This word is so well added. Couldn’t it be possible to add this word by saving words? Teacher, please add money, two boxes of lunch per day. Shao Feng: Congratulations on the price increase. Sha Yi: Teacher, now that we have passed the previous scene, let me tell you that there is a map of Yan State here. Please ask Jing Ke to bring it to you. Attention all departments, preparations begin. There is a map of Yan State here. Huang Hong: Please bring Jing Ke up. Shao Feng: You brought Jing Ke up, that’s right. Huang Hong: Please serve it up. Sha Yi: Teacher, I understand, I am not a chicken, I am a box lunch seller, and I have taken care of it and served it. Huang Hong: I made a mistake as a director. If I try it again, I will definitely be able to perform well. Shao Feng: Preparation begins, the envoy comes to see you. Huang Hong: Please bring it to Jing Ke. Sha Yi: Two more sentences. Eat after finishing the meal. Shao Feng: There are two more simple sentences, the first sentence, ah, the second sentence. Huang Hong: Is this Qin Shi Huang or a crow? Sha Yi: Teacher, what's going on? I'll unfold the picture and take out a dagger to kill you. Shao Feng: Then stab you. Huang Hong: Where is the sword? Shao Feng: No need. Sha Yi: Attention, all departments, listen to my orders and get ready to start. Huang Hong: Ah, oops. Sha Yi: Stop, what are you always hiding from? Huang Hong: I won’t hide from you when you stab me. Sha Yi: I have to stab you, I have to stab you to death. Huang Hong: Is it dangerous to act like this? Sha Yi: I'm not stabbing you, I'm stabbing Qin Shihuang. Huang Hong: Did he stab Qin Shihuang to death? Shao Feng: Yes. Sha Yi: This is a time-travel drama. Shao Feng: Met with Liu Shishi. Sha Yi: The final bloody battle in Shanghai. Shao Feng: Travel through time and space and conquer everything. Huang Hong: Aren’t these two idiots? I’m sorry, I won’t act in this drama. Sha Yi: Stop, can a professional actor do this? Huang Hong: I deliver lunch boxes. Sha Yi: What's going on? Huang Hong: Don’t ask him, I am his father.