Homophonic joke 600-word composition calligraphy

1. A Shaanxi native opened a restaurant in Chinatown, New York. The son is a waiter, the mother is responsible for collecting money, and the father is a chef.

One day, a foreigner came to the shop and ordered a set meal. In the middle of it, he smashed the soup bowl with a bang.

The son ran over to have a look and said, "The bowl is broken!"

The foreigner thinks, "A dollar, ..."

Mother came to see the sound. She saw a broken bowl on the ground and asked, "Who broke it?"

The foreigner thought, "Three dollars? ......"

The son said, "He called!"

The foreigner thought, "Ten dollars? ! ......"

Mom added, "I want to make another bowl!" "

The foreigner thought, "Happy? ! ? ! ......"

Dad was chopping vegetables in the kitchen when he suddenly heard the noise outside and ran out to see what had happened. In my hurry, I forgot to put down the kitchen knife.

Dad, five big and three thick, stood in the restaurant with a kitchen knife. When the foreigner saw it, his heart beat faster and his blood pressure rose sharply, but it was his words that broke his heart.

Dad said to his son who was scooping soup on the heating stove, "Be hot, hold less!" "

Foreigner: "Ten thousand? ! ! @#$%^&； *..."

2. Once upon a time, there was a Confucian scholar who thought he was very knowledgeable: a hundred schools of thought contended, knowing astronomy above and geography below, but he was not appreciated when writing articles. Therefore, he was unconvinced.

Once, he wrote an article and approved it to a famous Confucian who was an academician in the village. That Hanlin is a very funny man. After reading his article, he didn't change a word. Only at the end of the volume, the words "drumming in the mountains, spreading sound in a hundred miles" were approved. Confucian scholars were very happy to see this compliment and proudly passed it on to Confucian scholars in the same village. Confucian scholars in the same village were surprised to see it. Why did Hanlin give him such a good evaluation because the article was not good? So everyone went to ask the famous Confucian: "What do you mean by respecting teachers and emphasizing Taoism, drumming in the mountains and hearing the sound from a hundred miles away?"

Hanlin smiled and said, "think about it. What is the drum sound? "

"The sound of drumming is cloth, cloth." The Confucian scholar replied without thinking.

Hanlin smiled again and said, "Bueh, Bueh, can also be pronounced unreasonable."