A joke to please his wife.

1, girls don't say that.

A man said to a woman: I invite you to dinner. ?

The woman said:? Some other time ?

Step 2 save money bucket

A widow went to buy cucumbers and told her not to slice them, but the cucumber seller forgot to slice them. When the widow saw it, she scolded, What the fuck do you think I am?

3. Internship

A large group of girls went to the farm for internship, and the bishop of the farm milked the cows. After the demonstration, they taught everyone to try it by themselves. At this time, a girl was puzzled to see that others had squeezed a small part of the tube, and her own was only a little. The farmer came over to have a look and said, Miss, you not only squeezed in the wrong place, but also chose the wrong cow.

4. A handsome guy wants to buy condoms.

A handsome guy wants to buy condoms, but he doesn't know the size. The waitress had no choice but to check it and said to her colleagues around her: a box of 5 inches, oh, no, 7 inches ... Oh, my God, go and get the toilet paper. . . . . . . .

I caught my ex-girlfriend flirting with my new lover.

Shadow Pig has just been abandoned by his girlfriend and happened to meet his ex-girlfriend flirting with his new lover in the street. The more he watched it, the angrier he became, trying to humiliate them. So he greeted politely and said contemptuously to his girlfriend's new love. You don't dislike the second-hand goods I used! ? Just when he was proud of his creativity, his ex-girlfriend said with a smile: One inch outside is old, and the inside is brand new! ?

6. It's gone

Roll call after class. If you don't come, 50 points will be deducted from the final grade! When I saw a senior, I jumped over inexplicably, and he shouted: Teacher, you didn't get to the point! ?

More than sixty. The old teacher lowered his head and said: No ~?

7. One summer, a young man in slippers got on a bus. He sat down and crossed his legs. Opposite him sat a girl in a miniskirt (without underwear), and the bus left! ! Suddenly! A brake! Boys' feet are inserted into girls' BB, hey! That's what happened! After two days, the girl felt that her BB was very uncomfortable and went to the hospital. When the doctor examined her, she said in surprise? Wow, your BB has athlete's foot, strange?

Just then, the door was pushed open and another doctor broke in and said, what's so strange about this? There was a young man with syphilis on his feet just now! ! ? .

Before the masquerade, the wife suddenly felt unwell and asked her husband to go to the party alone. Later, the wife felt better, put on a fashion that her husband had never seen before, and drove to the dance. Just entering the door, the wife saw her husband flirting with other women, so she was jealous and decided to test her husband. She walked up to her husband and threw herself at him with a charming voice. Finally, he was lured to the back garden to have fun. In the middle of the night, when everyone was about to take off their underwear, their wife quietly left. And her husband didn't come back until three in the morning.

"How was the dance?" The wife asked. "It's not funny at all." The husband replied. "What the hell did you do there?"

The wife asked repeatedly. "To tell you the truth," said the husband, "when I got there, I saw some friends without wives, so we played cards in the study." "Have you been playing cards all night?" The wife screamed. "Yes, but I lent my clothes and mask to another old friend. That guy boasted to me at the end of the dance that it was the best night of his life!

9. On the wedding night, the bride has undressed and gone to bed.

The groom also took off his coat, shirt and tie, but when he got the shoes, he was in trouble.

Because the shoelaces can't be untied, they are more and more connected. The bride was in a hurry and said, What a fool! There is a knife there. Just cut it with a knife! ?

The bride's mother eavesdropped in the next room to see if everything was going well. Hearing the bride say this, she shouted: No, no knife. ? She said through the wall: Tell him, just put some saliva on it. ?

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