I always like to compare with others, and I feel very disappointed when I am not as good as others. Is this a mental illness? How can I improve it?

It is a normal emotional reaction to feel disappointed if you are not as good as you are. So what if you are better than you are? Would you be happier and more confident?

Why do you want to change your comparison mentality? I don’t see your motivation for changing. I think it’s okay. Everything has its positive and negative sides. The mentality of comparison is just a way for you to please yourself, because you will be very happy if you are better than you. The mentality of comparison does not affect others and does not harm society. It is not a big deal.

If you are better than yourself, you will be happy and confident. If you are not better than him, just find a way to surpass him. It is no big deal. Everyone has this kind of comparison mentality, so don’t worry too much.

If a person doesn’t even have the mentality of comparison, how can he talk about progress and growth.

Gdp is compared between countries, admission rates are compared between schools, and academic performance is compared between college entrance examinations. Comparisons are everywhere in life. The road of life is long, it’s no big deal to compare.

I don’t think that people who like to compare are extremely sinful, nor is it a mental illness. On the contrary, people who have desires and a desire to compare often mean that they have strong vitality. They have a competitive and enterprising spirit, and they have the determination and courage to change their lives and destiny. The mental state of these people cannot be healthier or normal. These people deserve respect.

The biggest lie in the world is "contentment is enough". This sentence is often used as an anesthetic for those incompetent people who really have no talent, no ability, no potential and no hope. They live in this world and drift with the tide all their lives. Their efforts are in vain. Their talents limit their success. When they are scarred and struggling in this world all their lives, they can only be content with what they have. , "Don't compare with others", "Just be happy", such chicken soup nonsense, comfort the injured soul. In addition, rich people also hope that contentment can become a value, because only in this way, their wealth and status will not be missed by those who are full of ambition and advancement.

Such nonsense as "Don't compare" has a great negative impact on those who don't work hard, making them learn to be lazy, indulgent, greedy for comfort, not enterprising, and provide good opportunities. Reason - In this Buddhist society, people are too easy to indulge themselves, love themselves too much, and pamper themselves so much that people who have not yet worked hard have begun to feel self-pity for their hard work.

In traditional society, the values ??of self-improvement, daring to be the first, and never admitting defeat are gradually given up. Hard work tends to be comfortable and comfortable, and pioneering and enterprising becomes complacent with the status quo. People who often comfort themselves by "not comparing themselves to others" pursue pleasure in time. The meaning of their lives lies in the happiness of the moment, not in hard work. Therefore, they are very good at letting themselves go. When they are tired, when they find it difficult, or when they have tried and failed, they settle for the next best thing. They do not compare or compete with others, but only seek their own inner peace and happiness. .

This Buddhist attitude towards life makes the world depressed and lacks fighting spirit. It seems that ambition has become an overly gritty and embarrassing attitude towards life. Anyone who is ambitious loves to work hard, everyone who works hard is more sincere, and everyone who is more serious seems to be a little paranoid. Anyone who is paranoid is unlovable, and all unlovable people are cast aside by this era. Ambition, hard work, perseverance, advancement...these once beautiful words have all become derogatory words in today's society. Because people with these personalities often give people a strong sense of oppression, and the people around them have to work hard. In this era of comfort, everyone hates working hard and likes to sit back and wait to die.

Modern people have lost the desire to compare and become more Buddhist. The euphemistic name is that this is a diversified and personalized society. In fact, it avoids competition and comparisons with others.

This is a kind of laziness without making progress, and is a dangerous sign that the forward momentum of our society is gradually weakening.

What is comparison? The word "comparison" already has a derogatory connotation, but if we use it instead, wouldn't it be better?

If I see that other people’s living conditions are better than ours, I yearn for them and work hard to improve my own living conditions. Is this comparison?

If we see others doing well and making great achievements in their careers, then we should catch up with others who are as good as them. Is this a case of comparison?

If others live out their lives and feel happy, we feel envious and start to learn from them. Is this comparison?

If a person sings very well, is proficient in an instrument, is good at painting and photography, and we want to learn a technique to be as cool as him, is this considered comparison?

Some people dare to think hard about going into business and become a rich man after 10 years of hard work. Because of his success, he also wants to go into business. Is this considered comparison?

All those who compare are people who have requirements for life, and the object of comparison is often the goal they have not yet achieved. Since there is a gap in life and the career can still rise, then why not compare?

Everyone strives for greater heights, pursues the development of a society, and hopes to become better. Isn’t this a positive attitude that human nature should have?

Why do we reject and resist so-called comparison so much? In the final analysis, it is because they are unwilling to work hard, do not want to compare with others, and avoid feeling inner pain in the process of comparison. Precisely to avoid such pain, people give up their efforts, as if they can achieve self-satisfaction. Inner peace, this is indeed a bastard idea that one generation is inferior to another.

I always like to compare with others and feel very disappointed when I am not as good as others. It must be a mental illness. Let’s analyze it below.

First, always liking to compare with others is a sign of excessive self-esteem.

The various comparison mentality mentioned above shows that it is no longer normal. Let's try how to improve it.

1. Correctly understand your own self-esteem level.

①Self-love, first of all, a person loves himself unconditionally. No matter you perform well or poorly, there is a voice deep inside telling yourself that you are worthy of love and respect.

②Confident, think that you have the ability to take appropriate actions on important occasions. As long as you work hard, the results will be acceptable. If we succeed, we will keep trying. If we fail, we will sum up our experience and continue to work hard.

③ Self-view, the way we look at ourselves, and is our assessment of our strengths and weaknesses well-founded? Subjectivity dominates everyone's evaluation of themselves.

④ If a person's evaluation and expectations of himself are positive and objective, it will become an inner strength, allowing people to withstand setbacks and tests and achieve the highest goal.

⑤ Learn to listen, take the initiative to ask people around you for their opinions, and express your gratitude to them. Regardless of whether they are criticizing or praising, don't deny it subjectively, but listen to it, corroborate it with your own behavior, and make an objective evaluation.

⑥While recognizing yourself, also accept the true self before you, learn to love yourself, and treat yourself with a more tolerant attitude.

⑦Observe yourself to see if there is any self-attack phenomenon in yourself, and let go of these critical prejudices about yourself.

⑧Allow yourself to fail. Occasional failure in life can be regarded as a small success. It allows us to discover mistakes, correct actions, and contribute to the next success.

So, stop trying to compare, I will be lucky if I gain, and I will lose my life if I lose. Live a positive, optimistic life.

Keep a normal mind and may your life be colorful and happy!

Don’t compare with others. Your heart will become cold after the comparison. Everyone has several houses, and you can’t survive even if you compare them. Just have a good attitude. Money is an external possession, and you will die. If you can't take me with you, don't compare. It's not that we don't work hard, it's because we are too sick. If you can't stand it anymore, you have to take care of it. If your brother is dying there, and you can't stand it, you have to save him. How about saving him? I will lose a house every year and I can’t live for myself. This is also called contribution. I complete the tasks my mother gave me and take care of my brother. I grit my teeth and let him live. Now he is living a good life. I am very happy and I don’t compare myself with others. , not more than property, but only caring about the safety of my brothers is my greatest happiness. Saving one life is better than a three-level pagoda. Whenever I think of the past, my relatives are my biggest support, and there is no point in living without my relatives. So don’t compare.

I think appropriate comparison is a kind of motivation for oneself.

Comparison can be divided into two types

The first is called healthy comparison

Comparing scores between students in schools must be a reflection of themselves. I saw that my score in this exam was a little lower than my classmate XX. I must try my best to surpass him next time.

I saw my friend bought a pair of nice-looking shoes, so I went to work two part-time jobs and bought a pair for myself.

The second type is called vicious comparison

Seeing that others live a very wealthy life and have better food and clothing than themselves, and they want to live such a life themselves, so they take Obtain funds through online loans and other methods without any regard for the consequences.

[Proud] So you'd better use your sense of loss to motivate yourself. Think about why you can't compare with him.

However, winning is when you win by yourself. If you rely on others to win, he does not win, and if he relies on others to win, you do not win.

People can make progress in comparison, but they can also get lost in comparison.

When comparing, you need to have control and make good choices.

You can be disappointed

There are times in life that you must have, but there are times in life that don’t force it.

It is not a mental illness, it is a normal emotional reaction. This shows that you are motivated. You can write down the things that make you feel depressed, find your own goals, and then make some changes for your own progress. Take your time and I believe you will be better! Don't deny yourself, it's normal to have negative emotions!

To answer this question, different people have different answers. I don’t know the age of the subject, so let’s start with the two situations.

1. You are a middle-aged or young person under the age of fifty. People of this age group like to compare with others in everything, which is a sign of self-motivation. Who doesn’t want to be envied? Are you willing to be laughed at by others for your incompetence? Having a comparison mentality is the inner motivation to drive your own progress. The fear of being criticized by the leader and laughed at by others is the external motivation to drive one's progress.

This is true for individuals, and so is the government. In the 1970s, the country set off a nationwide craze for competing against each other, competing for the top spot, and involving all walks of life.

Only by comparing can you find out your own gaps, and only by knowing your shame can you be brave.

2. If you are in middle or old age. Retirement is approaching, or even already retired. It is very unlikely that people of this age group will make a big difference in their careers. It would be inappropriate to compare each other for fame and fortune. Of course, this is considered It's not a mental illness, at most it's just a habit developed after a long period of struggle. But now it's time to adjust your mentality in time, otherwise it will only cause more troubles to yourself. I have struggled for most of my life, experienced successes and suffered failures. We have different starting points in life, different family backgrounds and different life experiences, so why should we insist that our achievements must be the same as others? "Be content and happy" should not only be a motto, but also a motto in the hearts of middle-aged and elderly people.

Spending time with flowers, birds, insects and fish, reciting poems and writing poems, playing music, chess, calligraphy and painting, traveling around mountains and rivers, and enjoying family happiness with your family. There is always a hobby that suits you, right? Wouldn’t it be great to choose one or two to enrich your life?

Control yourself