Are there any funny jokes? Say something classic and funny.

A fly and its child are walking on a bald head. After a while, it said thoughtfully, "son, time flies." When I was your age, it was just a path. " One day, a sparrow said to a pigeon, "Do you dare to shoot an eagle?" "Of course, I dare." After that, the pigeon flew away. After a while, the pigeon flew back without feathers. The sparrow asked, "What's the matter?" The dove said, "That boy is not convinced, so I will hit him with my bare hands."

Adhere to a family planning service team and publicize family planning knowledge in the countryside. When introducing condoms to an old farmer, the propagandist said, "We must stick to using them, or we will fall short." A month later, the family planning team came again, and the old farmer hurried to the propagandist and said, "I fried it like you said, not only did I not chew it, but my wife was pregnant later." ......

"The red light has been on. Aunt Wang is going to attend May's wedding. Because she was going to be late, she drove very fast and didn't stop at the red light. So I was stopped by the police. The police will give Aunt Wang a ticket. The policeman asked Aunt Wang, "How to write a red light? "Aunt Wang thought she was going to be late, but she stopped people from coming down. She said impatiently, "I can't write! ""After a while, the police gave the ticket to Aunt Wang, and she stuffed it into her purse without reading it. A few days later, Aunt Wang went to pay the fine and showed it to the young lady at the counter. The lady looked at it for a long time and said to Aunt Wang, "You can go back!" " Aunt Wang Mo said wonderfully, "Isn't there a fine?" The young lady said, "No! There is no such traffic rule as' red light never stops'! " Naked woman A naked woman ran into a taxi and the driver looked at her all over. The girl scolded, "What are you looking at? Have you never seen a naked woman? " ! ! "The driver said," I just want to see where your money comes from! " "

The new bathhouse in the factory only looks at it but doesn't touch it. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, gay men wash, lesbians wash on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, gay men wash on Sunday morning and lesbians wash the next afternoon. Just this Sunday, there was an exhibition of revolutionary martyrs' relics. The factory director announced at the staff meeting: "This Sunday morning, gay men took a bath and lesbians visited; In the afternoon, lesbians take a bath and gays visit. Again, just look and don't touch. "

The number 9 sees the number 6 and says: There is nothing to do with handstands. 0 sees 8 and says: Fat is fat. What belt are you wearing? 7 See 2 and say: Don't think that I will marry you if you kneel.

2 See 5 and say: Hey, I haven't seen you for a few days, and I have breast augmentation. A: how can I live longer? B: Give up drinking. A: I don't drink. B: No color. A: I don't like women. B: Vegetarian. A: I don't eat meat! B: Then why do you want to live a long life?

Professor of Philosophy: A fool's question 10 can't be answered by a wise man. Student: No wonder I failed the exam.

It was several years ago that I swiped the bus IC card. When the bus arrived at the station, a tall woman came over. Her IC card may have been put in the back pocket of jeans, so as soon as she got on the bus, she leaned her ass against the credit card machine and got into the trunk with a drip. This woman is followed by a short old lady. She felt strange that she could get on the bus as long as her ass was against that thing, so as soon as she got on the bus. Aunt said: Isn't that girl riding on her ass here? Haha, I see. The driver was very upset and could only explain to him that the girl used an IC card, but the aunt didn't know what an IC card was and pestered the driver. "You are so unreasonable. When a beautiful girl pouted with you, you let others in. My wife has pushed your ass so many times, and you won't let me in. What do you mean? " Everyone in the trunk laughed, and the driver just waved her in because he couldn't get off the stage.

A man threw a handle forward on his bicycle and met a traffic policeman at a fork in the road. The traffic police shouted to him: good palm. The man replied happily: comrades have worked hard!

The hot girl called a taxi. Miss, what will you wear in the future? Spice Girl: Red miniskirt! Recipient: Then where to go? Spice Girl: It's thighs! You are very lucky (super funny)

When I was shopping, I suddenly felt a pain in my stomach, so I walked into a hot pot restaurant on the corner and wanted to borrow a toilet. But I couldn't find the first floor, so I ran to the second floor, which was still under renovation. Nothing, but I found a sticker on the toilet door. It says "The fault needs to be repaired, please don't use it", but I can't help it. Whatever. Anyway, there was nobody around, so I took off my pants and squatted in the toilet. That's so cool! ! After that, I went downstairs and found no one there. Strangely, the wedding is downstairs laughing while eating. Why did people go to that building at once? Even the waiter and receptionist were gone ... so I approached the bar and asked, "Is anyone there?" Why is there no one? "At this moment, I saw a waiter come out from under the bar and said," ... weren't you there when shit fell from the ceiling and hit the electric fan just now? You are very lucky.

A farmer in a county feeds pigs with swill every day, and as a result, he is fined 10,000 yuan by the Animal Protection Association-cruelty to animals. Later, the farmer changed to feed the pigs with Saussurea involucrata, and was fined 1 10,000 yuan by the Environmental Protection Association for wasting food. One day, the leader visited again and asked the farmers what to feed the pigs. The farmer said, "I don't know what to feed." Now I give it 100 yuan every day and let it go out to eat by itself. "

One day, Xiaoming put a plaster on his hand. The teacher asked, "What happened to your hand?" Xiaoming said, "It's broken." The teacher said, "Why? Xiaoming said, "Because I am too lazy." The teacher said, "will I break my hand if I am too lazy?" Xiao Ming said: "One day I was walking on the road and my shoes touched a stone, but I was too lazy to do it with my hands, so I shook my feet with a telephone pole and let the stone fall out." Passers-by thought I was electrocuted and hit my hand with a wooden stick, so the teacher ..............: ..........-