Hello, everyone, I am looking for a joke. It should be a little longer and can be told for 2 minutes. It should be really funny, preferably something new.

1 The little white rabbit was walking in the forest. When he met the big bad wolf, he came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers and said, "I asked you not to wear a hat." ". The little white rabbit retreated aggrievedly.

The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the big bad wolf again. He walked up to the little white rabbit and gave the little white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I Let you wear a hat."

Rabbit was depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.

After explaining the situation, Tiger said, "Okay, I understand. I will handle this matter. You have to trust the organization." That same day, the tiger found his buddy, the big bad wolf. "It's not right for you to do this. It's making it difficult for me." After saying that, he wiped the cigarette ashes falling on the table: "Do you think this is okay? You can say, Tutu, come here and find me a piece of meat." Go! She asked for a fat one, and you said you wanted a thin one. Then you could beat her up, Tutu. I’m looking for a woman. She’s looking for a plump one, and you say you like a slim one. She’s looking for a slim one, and you’re looking for a plump one. You can beat her properly and forcefully.” The big bad wolf nodded frequently and clapped his hands, and his respect for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above guidance work was overheard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I feel this hatred in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence, the big bad wolf came towards him. The Big Bad Wolf said: "Rabbit, come here and find me a piece of meat." Rabbit said: "Then, do you want a fat one or a thin one?" After hearing this, the Big Bad Wolf's heart sank. Another joy, I said to myself, luckily there is Plan B. He then said: "Tutu, find me a woman quickly." Tutu asked: "So, do you like plump ones or slim ones?" The big bad wolf was silent for 2 seconds, raised his hand and said more I gave Tutu two big-eared posts. "Fuck, I asked you not to wear a hat."

2. A friend of mine.

He said: Let’s go! Please go swimming!

I said: No!

He said: Why?

I said: The water was too dirty, and they all peed in it.

He said: Then let’s pee in it too!

I said: No.

Then he went off on his own.

After playing for half an hour, call me. Said: Give me the 300 yuan, someone will catch me peeing.

I said: How can it still be caught?

He said: People peed in the water, but I peed on the diving platform.

The next day, I went back secretly without shame. He called me again after half an hour of playing.

Say: Give me the 300 yuan. Someone caught me peeing again.

I said: Why did you catch it again?

He said: Forget it, I peed in the water. I was fined 300 and put on fire yesterday. I got a yellow line when I peeed!

On the third day, we went again. He called me again after half an hour of playing.

Say: Give me the 300 yuan. Someone caught me peeing again.

I said: Why did you catch it again?

He said: Forget it, I caught a cold yesterday and brought out a piece of feces when I peeed

On the fourth day, I went again. He called me again after half an hour of playing.

Say: Give me the 300 yuan. Someone caught me peeing again.

I said: Why did you catch it again?

He said: Forget it, today I saw a super hot beauty, and when she peed, she came out with white sticky substance

On the fifth day, I went again. He called me again after half an hour of playing.

Say: Give me 300 yuan.

I said: Why did you catch it again?

He said: Forget it, he peed too much and the whole pool overflowed

Me:...

On the sixth day, I went again. He called me again after half an hour of playing.

Say: Give me 300 yuan.

I said: Why did you catch it again?

He said: Forget it, everyone was scared away when I came.

Me:...

On the seventh day, I went again. He called me again after half an hour of playing.

Say: Give me 300 yuan.

I said: Why did you catch it again?

He said: As soon as I came, everyone in the swimming pool peed.

Me:...

On the eighth day, I went again. He called me again after half an hour of playing.

Say: Give me 300 yuan.

I said: Why did you catch it again?

He said: Forget it, the administrator was so scared when I came.

Me:...

On the ninth day, I went again. He called me again after half an hour of playing.

Say: Give me 300 yuan.

I said: Why did you catch it again?

He said: Forget it, I can’t pee and they won’t let me go.

Me:...

On the tenth day, I went again. He called me again after half an hour of playing.

Say: Give me 300 yuan.

I said: Why did you catch it again?

He said: Forget it, I haven’t peed yet, and when people see it’s me again, I’ll fine them 300 yuan first