A short story about the humor of couplets

During the Spring Festival, a poor scholar wrote a couplet to his family. It's like this: the first link: 2345, the second link: 6789, and the horizontal batch: one is short of ten (lack of clothes and food)! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Is it useful? This is what our teacher said, short enough! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 1 The banter between Su Shi and Fo Yin-Su Shi saw a dog gnawing at a bone by the river, and he came out: the dog was gnawing at a bone by the river (monk); Fo Yin calmly threw a fan engraved with Su Shi's poems on the riverside: Water (corpse) Dongpo Poems. Who dares to play chess for two days? The local area is pipa road, and the strings are strings. Which one can play? 3 When Jie Jin was a child, his family was poor, and his family was facing a bamboo forest of the landlord, so he made a couplet; The door is short, but the home is in thousands of books. The landlord was very unhappy, so he cut the bamboo short, and Jie Jin changed it to: the door is short and the bamboo is short, and the parent thousands of books. The landlord was even more upset and cut down all the bamboo. Jie Jin changed it to: the door is short and the bamboo is short, and the parent thousands of books. Jie Jin is a waiter around the emperor, but he wants to go back to his hometown to visit relatives, but he dare not say. When the emperor saw it, he asked him to show the couplets and let him get off: Jie Jin Dragon is coming: Thank you, thank God and thank the king. 5 Maitreya's couplets: a big belly can accommodate things that are difficult to accommodate in the world; Laugh as soon as you open your mouth, and you will know the ridiculous people in the world. Su Xiaomei, Su Shi's sister, is also quite talented. One day, when Fo Yin went to see Su Shi, he happened to bump into Su Xiaomei who was lazy in bed, so he made fun of him: the peony in the cigarette case. Su Xiaomei remembered seeing him washing his hair by the river that day and smiled: Shui Piao gourd. 7 hungry chickens steal rice, and children beat him with buckets; In summer, a cold guest coughs, which means that a chicken is hungry and steals rice and is beaten by a child with a bamboo tube; When the mouse was enjoying the cool air on the beam, it was startled by the cough of the guests. Beauty is homophonic. Wang Xizhi's handwriting is so good that he has to put up couplets outside the door on New Year's Eve, and N couplets have been stolen. So he wrote a pair: it never rains but it pours. So unlucky, of course, no one dares to steal. Unexpectedly, it was coming soon, so he asked his son to present it and added three words at the back, which became a wonderful couplet: it never rains but it pours. Jia Dao's drunkenness is not fake. -Interesting couplets made with celebrities' names. 10 the scholar went to Beijing to catch the exam, and the travel expenses were exhausted. The shopkeeper let him go out for free. He met the scholar and ate rice noodles. He said, "Rice noodles are eight points." First, this is the story of a great scholar in the Qing Dynasty: when Mr. Ji was very young, he was both clever and naughty, and often made the teacher laugh and cry (the teacher's surname was Shi); One day, Ji Xiaolan took a little yellow bird to school to play. Just as he was having fun, Teacher Shi came in. Ji Xiaolan immediately hid the bird behind the loose brick on the wall. Teacher Shi also saw it. He pretended not to know and went to class. However, when Mr. Shi came to the wall with a poem, he suddenly pushed the brick back with his hand, and the poor bird was crushed to death. The teacher also proudly sang, "Good feathers make good birds and bricks die." Ji Xiaolan thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, can I give you a correct sentence?" The teacher still proudly said, "Of course. Ji Xiaolan said, "You studied the fine birds in JIA Yu, I gave you the coarse-haired beast, your brick, and I was right about the stone. Later, my judgment on the first one was correct, and so was my judgment on death. The teacher heard that the coarse-haired beast and Mr. Shi knew that Ji Xiaolan was cursing him in homophonic, and his nose was crooked. However, he is right or wrong! Secondly, Su Dongpo and Fo Yin Su Dongpo are both in Hangzhou, and they like to make friends with monks in West Lake Temple. He and monk Fo Yin of the Holy Mountain Temple are best friends. They often make jokes while drinking and reciting poems. Monks in Fo Yin are delicious. Whenever Su Dongpo treats guests at a banquet, he always comes uninvited. One night, Su Dongpo invited Huang Tingjian to visit the West Lake, and many tables and drinks were prepared on board. When the cruise ship left the shore, Su Dongpo smiled and said to Huang Tingjian, "Fo Yin will come to every party. Tonight, we will go to the lake by boat to drink, sing poems and have fun. He can't come anyway. " "Who knows, Fo Yin monks have long discovered that Su Dongpo wanted to swim with Huang Tingjian, so they hid under the deck when they didn't get on the boat. The bright moon is in the sky, the cool breeze is refreshing, and the lotus fragrance is full of lakes. The cruise ship slowly arrived at the Three Towers of the West Lake. Su Dongpo raised his glass and smoothed his beard. He happily said to Huang Tingjian, "Today, without Fo Yin, we are quiet. Let's start by ordering wine. The first two sentences should be immediate, and the last two sentences end with the word "in". " Huang Tingjian said, "All right! Su Dongpo first said: What can the sky say when the clouds show the sun and the moon rises? What did heaven say? Huang Tingjian looked at the lotus flowers all over the lake, and then said: Li Anping brushed away and swam out of the fish, which is a good thing! Get what you want! At this time, Fo Yin couldn't help being pressed under the deck. As soon as he heard Huang Tingjian's words, he pushed open the deck and climbed out, saying, "Pull the deck aside, and Fo Yin will come out soon. What a shame! " ! Suppress people! Su Dongpo and Huang Tingjian were startled to see a man suddenly climb out from under the planking. When they looked carefully, it turned out to be Fo Yin. When they heard him say such four poems, they couldn't help laughing. Su Dongpo took Fo Yin and sat down and said, "You hid well. You are right. You ate again today! So, while enjoying the moon, the three men swam around the lake, talking and laughing. One day, Su Dongpo instructed the chef to use a live grass carp from the West Lake, wash it, cut it open, split it with five knives, and steam it with ham, onion and ginger. The cook made it and sent it to the study. Su Dongpo looked hot and delicious, and the knife marks on the fish were like willows. He repeatedly shouted, "What a mullet!" Just want to eat chopsticks, suddenly, I saw a flash of figure outside the window, Fo Yin monk came. Su Dongpo thought, "Hey, what a monk! He didn't come early or late! I was about to eat fish when you came. I won't let you eat today. What do you do? " I reached out and put this plate of fish on the shelf. Fo Yin has seen the dish of fish outside the window and thought, Well, you have hidden it well! I want you to take it out, too Su Dongpo greeted Fo Yin with a smile and sat down. He asked, "The big monk is not in the temple. What do you have to say here? " Fo Yin replied solemnly, "I came here today to ask you something." "What word!" "Your name is Sue, how do you spell' Sue'? Su Dongpo's brow wrinkled. Knowing that he was so learned that he couldn't even write the word "Su", he pretended to be serious and replied, "Oh, this word" Su "has a grass prefix on it, a word" Fish "on the left and a word" Wo "on the right. Fo Yin also asked in a confused way, "Oh, what if there is a' valley' on the left and a' fish' on the right under the grass prefix? Su Dongpo said, "That's still' Su'." Fo Yin followed suit and said, "How about putting the fish on the grass? Su Dongpo quickly said, "Oh, that won't do!" Fo Yin smiled and said, "Good! You say it's not good to put the fish on it, then take it off! Su Dongpo suddenly woke up! Fo Yin said, eating his plate of mullet. On one occasion, when Fo Yin was in the temple and knew that Su Dongpo was coming, he steamed a plate of mullet. Su Dongpo just came in. Fo Yin thought, last time you played a joke on me, I'm going to give you a hard time today. There happened to be a chime beside him, so he put the fish in. Su Dongpo saw it long ago and pretended not to know. As soon as I sat down, I sighed on purpose. Knowing Su Dongpo's optimistic personality, Fo Yin asked doubtfully, "Taishou, why are you so sad today? Su Dongpo replied, "Alas, monk, you don't know. In the morning, I want to write a couplet. Who knows, just after writing the first couplet, the second couplet will be difficult. I can't think of it all the time, so I'm very upset! Fo Yin asked, "I don't know what the first part is? Su Dongpo replied: "The first part of the couplet is' Spring Arrives at Xiangyang Gate'. Fo Yin was amused when he heard this: This couplet was pasted on every family, but he used it to make fun of me. I don't know what medicine is sold in the gourd of Su Dong. So he said quietly, "I'll give it to you, right?" The bottom line is "this is not just a celebration to accumulate outstanding talents." Su Dongpo even shouted: "Oh, a talented person is a talented person! So you have fish (surplus) in Qing! Come on, take it out and eat it. " Fo Yin this just suddenly enlighted, obediently took out the fish from the hands of the qing. Third, when Yu Qian was a child, he tied his hair in two buns. A monk laughed at him: "Tauren likes long horns." Yu Qian immediately replied, "There is never ivory in a dog's mouth." But when Yu Qian came home, he told his mother that she would comb him into a triangle immediately. Yu Qian went out and met a monk. The monk laughed at him again: "The triangle is like a drum stand." Yu Qian replied: "The bald head is like a hammer." The monk was speechless. Third, Chang 'e once loved Green Lang. Once upon a time, there was an aide who had a beautiful daughter. Shang Feng told her many times that he wanted to be his concubine. The assistant didn't dare to disobey him, but he was afraid of wronged his daughter. He is hesitating with his wife. When he was sad, his daughter came to meet him. When he saw it, he asked his parents what they were thinking. Parents must tell the truth. The daughter was brilliant and filial to her parents. She had a brainwave and said to her parents, "I have three conditions. First, I have not only the orders of my parents, but also the words of the matchmaker. I should ask the maharaja to act as matchmaker. " Second, the bride price should have treasures such as rose gems and yellow pearls; Third, before entering the bridal chamber, you must make a pair. If one of the three is missing, I will never marry him. "The father nodded. The next day, I reported to the senior officials, who answered them one by one. On the wedding day, the luxurious style is self-evident. After the guests dispersed, the official stepped into the bridal chamber, but was stopped by the maid-in-waiting and let them pair up. I saw on the red note: bamboo reflects peach blossoms, and gentlemen are greedy for red powder. The big officer looked at the font of son, but it was not worthy at the moment, so he moved to the yard. Just as I was looking up at the bright moon in the sky and chanting, a subordinate came over and asked, "What's wrong with adults not entering the bridal chamber and singing poetry in a good mood?" The official told him about the claim. After listening to it, the subordinates praised it again and again, and the couplets were unique. Bamboo is called a gentleman, and pink peach blossom is a pun. Inevitably, it is also conceived silently. At this time, the stars and the moon were shining and the shadows were dancing, which suddenly touched the inspiration of subordinates. I saw him shaking his head and chanting: The moon wears willows, and Chang 'e once loved Tsing Yi Lang. The official company said, "Great! Wonderful! There will be many rewards tomorrow. " Then go directly to the bridal chamber to hand in the papers. The maid-in-waiting sent a picture, and the girl pondered it. She raised her pen and criticized, "I'm afraid I didn't mean it from my heart, because I was born in the second place in the public sector." The official was ashamed when he saw the comment on writing. He thought for a moment, then resolutely left the bridal chamber, went to the subordinate, called him into the bridal chamber, and gave him all the dowry as a gift. Fourthly, Mr. Li Songer said that during the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty, there were two scholars in Guangdong who thought they were very talented. One is Li. They travel together and enjoy the scenery all the way. They feel very uncomfortable. I was tired and thirsty after swimming for a long time. I saw a monk in his seventies enjoying the cool in the shade in front of him, with a gourd beside him, and went forward to beg for water to drink. The old monk looked at the two men and said, What are your names? There is water, but you have to match it before you can drink it. The two scholars readily agreed and introduced themselves as Li and Song. Hearing this, the old monk embedded their surnames in couplets and said that Mr. Li Songer was a wooden foot. After hearing this, the two scholars laughed at themselves when they saw the couplets, but they didn't get them right for a long time. Not only did they have no water to drink, but they got bored and left. This story has been circulated among the people for hundreds of years. In the 1980s, a reader of Guangdong Farmers' Daily made up this story and threw it into the newspaper. There are 36 lovers of couplets, among which only Huang Wenchang, a reader from Yangchun County, is right. His bottom line is: Miss Gong Pang, when Mr. Long Shoulong was very young, he was clever and naughty, and often made the teacher laugh and cry (the teacher's surname was Shi); One day, Ji Xiaolan took a little yellow bird to school to play. Just as he was having fun, Teacher Shi came in. Ji Xiaolan immediately hid the bird behind the loose brick on the wall. Teacher Shi also saw it. He pretended not to know and went to class. However, when Mr. Shi came to the wall with a poem, he suddenly pushed the brick back with his hand, and the poor bird was crushed to death. The teacher also proudly sang, "Good feathers make good birds and bricks die." Ji Xiaolan thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, can I give you a correct sentence?" The teacher still proudly said, "Of course. Ji Xiaolan said, "You have studied the JIA Yu birds very well. I'll give you a picture of a coarse-haired wild animal, your brick, and I'll be right about the stone. Later, I will be right for the first time, and I will be right for death. "The answer to the first floor of the coarse-haired beast stone should be: Father is buried, father and son are buried together, and both have lost their husbands and daughters-in-law. A Scotsman wanted to call on an old friend, but forgot his address. On the day of the quick report, he received an urgent call back: "I know. "