Ten Funny Versions of The Analects of Confucius

Confucius said: knowing is knowing, not knowing is not knowing, and knowing is also. Spider is spider, benzene pig is benzene pig, it says yes! 2. Original text: Confucius said: Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you. Don't shit on people unless you go to the toilet. 3. Original text: Confucius said: No anger, no anger, no anger. If an angle is not reversed by three angles, there will be no more. Eating dung without washing, not fat or sloppy, cooking a stove is not as good as three bowls of rice, and not spitting fast. 4. Original text: Confucius said: Who is the master if the four bodies are not diligent and the grains are not divided? I can't see clearly, and my ass is not divided. I'm such a nerd! 5. Original text: Confucius said: Learning without thinking is useless, and thinking without learning is dangerous. Learning without dying is surfing the internet, and dying without blood is broadband. 6. Original text: Zi Zaichuan said: The deceased is like a husband, not giving up day and night. Son in bed: wife is like grandpa, unwilling to change (single-minded) son in bed: wife is like clothes, constantly changing (playboy) son in bed: wife is like a teacher, if it is not good, change (pursuit of perfection) son in bed: wife is like a tiger, afraid to run wild (tracheitis) 7. Confucius said: In a threesome, there must be a teacher. Three days before Confucius died, Confucius said: Three days later, there will be my body. 8. Original text: Confucius said: A gentleman is invincible in the world, and there is no Mo Ye. Zhenzi was lying underground, in the middle of the night, very wild, and the suspected corpse was still dead. 10. Original: Confucius said: I was cold when I was old, and then I knew that pine and cypress withered. It was cold, and then I knew my brother was stupid and wild.