Three jokes and three stories.

1, admiringly said: Russia has served you, Russia has lost you, and Russia simply worships you.

2. When encouraging, say: I am optimistic about you.

3. When you see something amazing, say: God of Russia.

If you want to beat someone, say: avalanche.

5, "threat" said: be careful that I will scratch you.

6. If someone moves, just "sunflower".

7. Interrupt and say "How sunny the sun is tonight" or "What a good breakfast last night".

8. If you don't agree with anyone, just say: The tiger is not arrogant, you treat me like Hellokitty.

9. When dealing with his girlfriend, he said: The acting is too bad, and there are no tears.

10, when colleagues praised themselves, they said: just so-so, XXX came third.

1 1. A friend praised his girlfriend for her beauty. She said, It's so ugly, it's so ugly, and the Asian girl is the ninth.

12, before you go all out, say: take care of my seventh uncle.

13, before singing and dancing, said: Tangsang Amitabha music.

14. If you want the annoying person to leave, just say: Ge Wuen.

15, offended his wife and said: you adults don't remember villains, the prime minister can punt in his stomach, and both husband and wife go home on a frosty night.

16, reason with people and say: Zi once said.

17, teasing female colleagues and saying, please, it's the first time to go to Korea.

18, when helping others, mysteriously said: I have someone above me.

19, if you want to swear, you should think like this: the world is so wonderful, but I am so grumpy, which is not good, not good.

20. When working overtime, think like this: No matter how tired and bitter you are, consider yourself a 250; No matter how hard it is to take a risk, just think of yourself as a two-faced person.

2 1, when a brother misunderstood and his girlfriend was crazy, he thought: a brother is like a centipede's hands and feet, and a woman is like a winter coat.

22. Take-out at noon doesn't taste good. Say: If God gives me another chance, I will definitely say three words to you ... less salt.

23. If you are the boss, let your classmates watch The Legend of Wulin: "What is your goal?"

"Be an incomparable woman."

"So far you're welcome? Say something closer. "

"Raise your salary."

"Alas ~ this is farther than the last one."

A man who doesn't smoke or drink.

A gentleman was waiting for the green light at the crossroads when a beggar knocked on the window and said, Give me some money.

The gentleman looked at it and said, I'll give you a cigarette.

The beggar said, I don't smoke. Give me some money.

The gentleman said, I have beer in my car. Let me give you a bottle of wine.

The beggar said, I don't drink. Give me some money.

Mr. Wang said: well, I'll take you to the mahjong room, I'll pay, you bet, and the winner is yours.

The beggar said, I don't gamble. Give me some money.

Mr. Wang said: I'll take you to the sauna to enjoy the "one-stop" service, and I'll take it all in.

The beggar said, I don't engage in prostitution. Give me some money.

Mr. Wang said, I'll take you back when you get on the bus, so that my girlfriend can see how good a good man who doesn't smoke, drink, gamble or go whoring can be.

Japanese and Americans eat it.

An American and a Japanese are eating hot dogs. The Japanese say that hot dogs are made automatically in our country. When pigs go in, hot dogs will come out. Americans say; No, no,no. We have eliminated your machine. We are doing this now. A pig goes in here and a hot dog comes out there. Administrator, come and have a look. If it doesn't pass, he pours the hot dog into the machine. A pig came out as soon as the switch was pressed.