100 funny quotations of domineering and teasing.

1. Perfect boyfriend: no smoking, no drinking, no cheating. Does not exist!

2. Not everyone can live a low-key life, and the basis of keeping a low-key is to keep a high profile at any time.

3. Not afraid of the long road, afraid of short-sightedness, not afraid of slowness, afraid of standing often; If you are not afraid of poverty, you are afraid of laziness, your opponent, and you are afraid of shivering.

4. The direction against the wind is more suitable for flying. I'm not afraid of 10 thousand people blocking me, but I'm afraid of surrendering myself.

5. Do you want to die or live?

6. Without passion, love will not burn, without friendship, friends will not be full, without lofty sentiments, ambitions will be difficult to achieve, and things will be difficult to achieve without mood.

7. We should stick to principles in major events and learn to be flexible in minor ones.

8. When you are away from home, your wife has told you not to sit in the front row by car. You can't stand up without a food clip. Don't drink badly, don't pick wild flowers by the roadside, and don't bring your lover into the house.

9. To say that others have a brain disease, the premise of a brain disease is that they must have a brain.

10. Turning a girl into a woman is the most basic responsibility and obligation of a man.

1 1. Women don't care about decency, decency is because there is not enough temptation, men don't care about loyalty, and loyalty is because the chips of betrayal are too low.

12. You, you, you little goblin, poisoned me with your love poison, but refused to give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh, I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

13. Love that does not feel pain is not true love, and marriage that does not feel happiness must be a sad marriage.

14. Wearing Hengyuanxiang's sweater, carrying a gift box of melatonin, holding three refined calcium gluconate and Taiji chicken juice syrup is a performance art that many people go to.

15. When I grow up, I will marry Tang Priest as my husband. If I can play, I will play, but if I can't, I will eat him.

16. Don't read what you shouldn't, don't say what you shouldn't say, don't listen to what you shouldn't hear, and don't think about what you should do.

17. Don't talk to me about feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money.

18. Love sometimes feels like being drunk. Clear-headed, but out of control.

19. Never say forever. Who can promise the future? All we can grasp is the local feelings at that time. But life is made up of countless now, and every moment is forever.

20. Study hard for China! A pack of China cigarettes is a lot of money!

2 1. On a harmonious campus, the cyclist may be a doctor, and the Mercedes-Benz driver may be a logistics person.

22. In fact, a person is a corpse when he is alive, and a pile of ashes when he dies.

23. My heart for you is harder than a diamond. . . . . . It's not a heart-shaped stone, is it?

24. When you lose your mind, it's as amazing as a pig climbing a tree.

25. It is said that there is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits! I went to see it the next day and threw up! On the third day, you went to the monkey and threw up!

26. Life is like a piece of scrap metal. If you throw it into the fire and knock it, you can make a fine product!

27. If there is love in the sky, it will be old, and the person who robbed me will have died long ago.

28. I am as clever as usual. I don't like you on the whole!

29. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisement in taxi: gambling? Take the subway! Shit, you're kidding me or something!

30. Do you know why Gao gets drunk? That's because Yao Jiaxin wants him to sing a song about you in prison.

3 1. Today is MM's birthday. In order to be the first to send my blessing, I picked up my mobile phone on time early in the morning and sent a message: sofa.

32. Relying on mountains to eat mountains, relying on water to eat water, grabbing today, not giving, who wants to resist, let him go to hell.

33. Yesterday is history, today is the beginning, and tomorrow is hard for everyone!

34. Recently, Shenma began to turn into a donkey's leg, and the cloud turned into rain!

I only looked back, but I didn't care how long the road ahead was.

36. Without a strong master, don't think you can bite just because you are a dog!

37. Sleeping on the printer can print out dreams all night, right?

38. Fasten your seat belt. There may be a love waiting for you ahead.

39. Xiaoming: Dad, am I a stupid child? Dad: Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?

40. Life is like a journey, what matters is not the destination. But NB along the way, the mood when dealing with NB!

4 1. Stand on the shore of years and be a Shui Piao for your past. ...

42. Sometimes it rains because the world needs washing, and sometimes it rains because the heart needs washing!

43. I am poor, please don't rob the tomb!

44. Don't think that just because you are younger than me, you can skip chalk for a few more days. The coffin is filled with dead people, not old people!

45. Famous saying, you have to be a celebrity first. That's a famous saying. Other people's farts are famous farts! Can you compare it?

46. I am a civilized person, and all the dirty words have been disinfected with saliva.

47. If I die, my first sentence is: I don't have to be afraid of ghosts at last.

48. I have done two things wrong in my life, one is to live and the other is to live.

49. Don't pose in front of me, I'm afraid I can't help but want to drop my camera.

50. Break up with you because you don't deserve to hold hands!

5 1. One day, San Xiao cried because San Xiao appeared!

52. Whoever dares to mess with me again, I will bury him in front of Tomb-Sweeping Day.

53. Whose old love is not someone else's new love, and whose new love is not someone else's old love.

54. Breaking up is boring. Divorce if you can!

55. Guinness Book of Records: The world's largest coffee table covers an area of 10000 square kilometers and can hold 1 100 million cups.

56. To love yourself, you must be selfish first. Only selfishness can lead to deep love.

Some people always sell what they have in exchange for what they don't have.

58. At school, it was that little money, but now it's dawdling!

59. Doing well in the exam depends on sitting at the same table.

60. I despise those who often chat with expressions.

6 1. If you have the heart, you will be tired. If you don't have the heart, it doesn't matter.

62. The highest state of being a man is not that you pick up girls, but that girls pick up girls.

63. How big a body do you have to be to support your dirty soul!

You can't eat as a meal, but I can't eat without you.

65. If life deceives me, then I will also deceive life.

66. You embarrassed me. I didn't even give you a chance to go on stage.

You live in my heart. Have you paid the rent?

68. The PE teacher said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class will be punished for handstand!

69. The most embarrassing thing is to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to register with my girlfriend. The staff is actually an ex-girlfriend.

70. If you don't like me, I will castrate you and be my sister.

7 1. I stood in your city hall and shouted: ouch! How deep!

72. The third party is not the later one, but the one who doesn't love deeply.

73. The most depressing thing in the world is stepping on your own poop.

74. Wear other people's shoes and take other people's roads, so that others can neither find shoes nor find their way.

75. I am not the Mona Lisa, and I will not smile at everyone.

76. Men say they like you, but in fact they just like your body.

There are thousands of men in the world, and it is really impossible to change them every day.

78. Matador, VIP among bitches.

Chopin, if you can bring out the sadness of labor and capital, labor and capital will give you a dollar.

80. Most of us have only done three things in our life: deceiving ourselves, deceiving others and being bullied.

8 1. I am not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but I am afraid to open the lid and have another bottle.

82. If you were a flower, the cow wouldn't shit.

83. When you go out, there are no birds, and thousands of people live and die.

84. Women are like clothes, but big sister is a kind of temperament that you can't wear.

85. For the sake of the next generation of the motherland, no matter how ugly you are, you must fall in love. The world is full of love.

86. I'm going to get a haircut. I've turned my head over into the sea.

My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over.

88. Brushing your teeth is a bittersweet thing, with a cup in one hand and toiletries in the other.

89. It was noon on weeding day, so it was really difficult to go to school. I entered the school and stood all afternoon.

90. I am proud of my flat chest. I save cloth for my country.

9 1. Hold your hand and drag it away. Knock yourself out if you don't go. Keep dragging!

92. Since suffering from mental illness, the whole person has been much more energetic.

93. I have no time to hate those who hate me, because I am busy loving those who love me.

94. Don't be defiled by love because of the pure thing of going to bed.

95. If you want to say something, you will naturally say it. If you don't want to tell, all you hear is lies.

96. Because I'm not afraid of anything and I can't lose anything.

97. Some people are so modest and some people are so proud, but no one is realistic.

98. We are like two parallel lines, and we will never meet.

99. Parent-teacher conferences and mistresses are essentially the same, both of which provoke family relations.

100. The man who loves me the most in the world married my mother.