Do you have any funny jokes to share?

One day in the early 1980s, a girl in her twenties came to me. She had dark skin, big eyes, and two thick black braids. She turned out to be my second brother’s girlfriend. At that time, my family raised pigs, and there was a stove next to the pig pen. My mother was already over fifty years old, with gray hair. The three youngest of us were at home. My two sisters and I, and the three of us, my sister-in-law, were a little excited to see our future. , my mother asked her, "What do you usually eat in Qingtian?" She said "porridge", which my mother heard as "wine". My mother asked her how many bowls she could eat, and she said "two or three bowls", and my mother was heartbroken. She thought: "With such a good drinking capacity, a big girl can drink two or three bowls of wine, it's incredible!"

She saw three of us, my sister and my brother, randomly taking out three five-yuan RMB notes from our pockets, one for each of us. , when I took the five yuan, I was so excited. There was a woman driving a tractor on the brand new five yuan. The yellow banknote made a sound when shaken. I said, thank you, sister-in-law. I was shaking a little when I spoke. . Because at that time, our parents gave us a few cents in change, one cent, two cents was pretty good. She gave me five yuan, not to mention how excited I was, thinking about how to spend it next to the pig pen.

Not long after, my future sister-in-law left. My mother called the three of us over and asked for our money back, saying, "This is the money you gave your second brother to get a wife for." , the pitiful look on our face when we reluctantly gave money to our mother is still fresh in my memory. It’s funny to think about it now. We were happy for less than ten minutes, from the excitement point to the freezing point, and it took longer than this time to dream. .

It has been almost forty years. Time flies so fast, it seems like it was yesterday.

Share a few with the original poster, hope you like them

1. I remember that when I was in high school, the school charged 200 as a supplementary tuition fee. I would like to take this opportunity to ask my family for more. So, I called my dad and told him that the school was charging tuition fees. Dad asked: How much. I said: 480. I only heard my father say to my mother: The child’s school charges a tuition fee of 1,480.

2. When I was in elementary school, I loved spicy strips the most. At that time, if I bought a pack of spicy strips, there would always be classmates who got greedy after seeing them, and then came over and asked me to lend them one! Being generous, of course I borrowed it! When I was in junior high school, my classmates were obsessed with playing basketball, and I was no exception. Every time after playing on the basketball court, my classmates would always come over and say when they saw the clear and sweet water in my kettle, Lend me a drink of water, and of course I borrowed it as I was being generous. When I was in high school, I was under a lot of academic pressure and teenagers had a strong metabolism. From time to time, I needed to wear a large size. There was always a classmate who came to my desk and said, "Brother, please borrow some paper. Of course I borrowed it again!" When I was in college, I bought a computer and installed it with the latest games. From time to time, classmates from the dormitory next door would come up to me and say, brother, lend me to play for a while. Being generous, of course I borrowed it! When I was about to graduate, a girl was hurt by her boyfriend. She cried and told me that she needed a heartfelt comfort. Being soft-hearted, I naturally lent her my heart. Unexpectedly, a few days later, when I wanted to go When I found her, she had already gotten back together. You see, I know people but not their hearts. Until now, these people have not returned these borrowed things to me. I am so generous, but I am treated like this

I bought a famous painting, but something seems wrong [unexplainable]

It is not an exaggeration to describe these two jokes as invincible.

Nothing wrong, aren’t you illiterate?

How about this?

Emmm, daily updates.

An aunt got into an air-conditioned car and only invested one dollar. The driver looked at her and said: Two yuan! The aunt nodded and replied: Cool! The driver said again: Put in two yuan! The aunt smiled and said: Young man, not only does your bald head feel cool, but your whole body feels cool too! So the aunt walked to the back of the car, and the driver said: Put in two yuan! The aunt said: It’s cooler in the back! ! !

1. My wife asked me: "You men always say that women are boring. What does boring mean?" I said: "Mensao means dignified on the outside but hot on the inside!" My wife asked again: " Do you think I count?" I pretended to look at her carefully, then shook my head: "You don't count!" My wife nodded: "I think so, I should belong to Ming Sao.

"I snickered: "Accurate but not comprehensive!" My wife was puzzled: "What is that?" I replied proudly: "You belong to Quan Sao!"...

2. A classmate, just did it Police. Once when he was out in the field to arrest someone, this guy posted on Weibo saying "We are ambushing". As a result, many people retweeted the Weibo and the police leaders also found out about it. As a result, he was invited in for a drink. Tea, the reason is to tip off criminals...

3. The host asked the female contestant: "What is the purpose of men using Viagra?" The female player blushed, thought for a long time, and said, "I can't think of it." "The host immediately said: "Congratulations on the correct answer! There was a lot of discussion at the table: "The answer is so insightful!" ”

4. Wife: “Husband, let’s get couple tattoos!” Husband: “What kind of tattoo do you want?” It hurts. Wife: "Just get a tattoo: "Wife, I love you all my life and will never change my heart. I will always be good to you. I will let you bully me until I grow old. I will buy you delicious food and accompany you to Sanya to see the sea. If I change my heart, , I will cut off my hands and feet and bury them in cow dung, and I will never be reincarnated!” Husband: “Then what are you tattooing?” Wife: “I’ll just tattoo: ‘OK’”…

5. Go to karaoke with a group of single colleagues, both men and women. Just after ten o'clock, a girl got up and wanted to leave. Everyone persuaded them to stay, and a buddy said: "Who is at home? Why are you going back so early?" MM smiled slyly: "Hey, I hide my beauty in the golden house." The buddy said again: "You are not a man, why are you hiding your beauty? "Another guy responded: "Banana!"

6. Two children were chatting. One asked: "Why did your father and mother beat you last night?" The other replied: "Huh, it's all my fault for being careless in my words." "What did you say wrong?" "They asked me who was better, grandpa or grandpa. ? I said, you will know if it is a mule or a horse. ”

7. One day I had a dream, and I dreamed of the goddess I thought about all day and night, lying so softly on my bed. In my arms, I was panting... We both wanted to do something indescribable... After I took off half of my clothes, the goddess gently pushed me away and said shyly: "Close the door first, it's not good to be seen." So, I woke up from my dream and opened my eyes. I got up quickly, ran over and closed the bedroom door. Then I turned around... Damn it! ! !

8. A patient went to the hospital for medical treatment. The doctor asked: What makes you uncomfortable? Patient replied: I had a dream last night, dreaming that I was a cow eating grass. The doctor said: Don't worry, this is normal, everyone will dream, and dreams and reality are different. The patient said nervously: But...but...when I got up, I found that half of the straw mat on my bed was missing!

9. An African tourist came to China Stay in a hotel when traveling. In the middle of the night, a fire broke out for unknown reasons. Seeing this, the African tourists couldn't care less and ran out naked. When the firefighter saw this, he exclaimed: "Oh my god! It's burnt to a crisp, but it's still running so fast!"

10. The turtle was injured, so he asked the snail to buy medicine. After 2 hours, the snail has not come back yet. The turtle got angry and cursed: Damn you, I'll die if you don't come back! At this time, a snail's voice came from outside the door: If you don't keep nagging me, I won't go...