Humorous jokes about traffic

Humorous jokes about traffic

Lead: People who can tell jokes have a sense of humor, and the possibility of depression is greatly reduced. Let's take a look at my collected humorous jokes about traffic and see your humor index!

1. On the bus.

son: mom, do cars burn oil?

dad: no, honey, some cars burn gas.

The son pointed to the van next to him and asked, What about the van? Does it burn bread?

a car full of people sprayed it, and his mother said, the plane is still roast chicken. . .

2. I took the bus yesterday. There were too many people and it was too crowded. I'm afraid I can't stand still, so I grab the second-hand clothes.

the goods said they were afraid that I would tear the clothes. I said the quality of this dress is not so bad.

he said, it's not that the quality of clothes is too poor, it's that your quality is too high. . .

ni mei, a car full of people laughed at me. . .

3. Crowd the bus in the morning.

A man accidentally bumped into a woman, and the woman turned around and snapped:? You can't stand on three legs? Suddenly the car was silent.

the man's face turned red: Talking with two mouths is cruel! ?

4. A classmate came to my hometown to play this Saturday. I took her to take the No.2 double-decker bus around the city. Because the first floor was too crowded, I motioned to go to the second floor, but she couldn't get up after dragging for a long time. She was so worried that there was no driver on the second floor.

5. Today, when I was on the bus, I saw a thief touching the beauty's bag. At that time, the bus was a little crowded, and I didn't shout, so I pinched the beauty's ass. . .

when she turned around, she saw the thief and slapped him. . .

the thief didn't dare to say anything. . .

6. Many areas have received reports. At midnight, cars are full in front of a certain intersection, and car owners are asking for help. Brothers, I can't go home now. The traffic lights at the intersection ahead are only yellow lights flashing. What should I do? Can you help me do something?

7. After the new traffic regulations came out, the reporter interviewed a driver who violated the rules in Nanjing Road, Tianjin. Reporter: Do you know that the new traffic regulations can't make phone calls while driving?

driver: I know.

reporter: then why did you call?

driver: I don't care if I make a phone call, I answer the phone four times!

8. Today, I realized that I was much more nervous than being caught involved in pornography ...

9. I was in front of the road, and the yellow light crossed the line. The police uncle called me to the road, and my uncle fined me and nodded to me. He said happily, Six points, goodbye.

1. A man didn't come home all night and hurried home the next morning. The wife asked why?

male:? Last night, a yellow light flashed at the intersection, and it didn't return to normal until six this morning. ?

wife:? Why not make a phone call?

male:? Deduct 3 points for driving and calling! ?

The man was shivering with cold, and his wife asked? In the car, why is it so cold? ?

male:? It snowed heavily all night, and I kept rubbing the number plate outside. It is said that 12 points will be deducted for blocking the number plate! ?

wife:? There is not wine in the car. Have a drink to warm yourself up. ?

male:? Drunk driving detention for 15 days, you want me to go to jail. ?

11. Some people say that the yellow light can be cancelled after the new traffic regulations are introduced.

actually, the green light can also be cancelled, so just leave a red light.

stop when the light is on, and pass when the light is off, which can save a lot of electricity in a year!

12. I chatted with my Swiss colleagues yesterday and talked about drunk driving.

He said that the standard for drunk driving in Switzerland was .8 mg, which was later adjusted to .5 mg.

However, according to statistics, it is found that the accident rate has increased after the standard has been raised, which is puzzling.

So I made a thorough investigation and got the conclusion:? With the improvement of standards, men can't drive, so the ratio of wives driving has increased, which has led to an increase in the accident rate. ? ;