Do you have any jokes? If so, give me some. Thank you.

1. A high school classmate of my classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle shop and flipped his hair coolly: "Boss, 2 liang of green onions and no rice noodles!" After that, he added: "Please order more rice noodles!" Boss: "... Do you want rice noodles or green onions?"

2. One time, the mother of a classmate in the dormitory called me

I used to say "He's not here" , but what I wanted to say this time was "He's gone out"

The result was: "He's... gone"

3. A drunk man accidentally stole from three The building fell, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over and asked: What happened? Drunk Man: I don’t know, I just arrived too!

4. Yesterday I dreamed about God and he said he could grant me a wish. I took out the globe and said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said I want this person to change. pretty. He thought for a moment and said, "I'll take a look at the globe."

5. Once upon a time, there was a bun walking on the road... suddenly he felt hungry. So he ate himself...

6. There was a match and his head felt itchy. After scratching it, his head caught fire. Then he went to the hospital. After the nurse bandaged him, he Became a cotton swab.

7. A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Where are you from?" If you don’t tell me, I’ll electrocute you! A college student replied to his enemy and was electrocuted to death. He said: I am from TV University!

8. A man was adventuring alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals.

So he shouted to the sky: "I am dead, God save me!"

I saw a light appearing in the sky, and a voice came: "Not sure yet, You pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the chief to death."

So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and hit the chief hard, killing the chief.

The tribesmen were all stunned for a moment, and then looked at each other angrily. At this time, another voice came from the sky:

"Now you are really dead."

< p>9. I had a nightmare, dreaming that I was taking an exam, and when I woke up, I found that I was actually taking the exam

10. A certain woman was caught by a cannibal tribe and prepared to be presented to the chief for dinner. The chief sighed: Fresh is fresh, but today is fasting day!

A certain woman was overjoyed: Then let me go!

Chief: You are beautiful! Beat me to a vegetative state before eating!

11. Three policemen were patrolling the street. They picked up three bombs, so they carefully held the bombs and prepared to return them to the police station. One of the policemen asked: "What if we were walking on the street?" What if a bomb explodes on the way?" The two policemen thought about it and said, "Then we only picked up two. 12. Two hunters from New Jersey were hunting in the forest. The man suddenly fell to the ground, rolled his eyes, and stopped breathing. Seeing this, his companion picked up his cell phone and called the emergency center in panic: "My friend is dead!" What should I do? "The attendant said gently: "Don't be nervous, don't worry, I'll help you. But you have to make us believe that he is indeed dead. "

There was silence...and then there was a gunshot. The hunter picked up the phone again and said, "Okay, what should we do next?

13. A doctor said to a critically ill patient: "I have bad news and worse news. Which one do you want to hear first?" "The patient said very frustrated: "Then let's hear the bad news first. "You have three days left to live." "The doctor replied. The patient was very disappointed after hearing this, "Which news is worse? "The patient asked again. "Actually, I should have told you this news yesterday. "The patient fainted on the spot.

14. Nurse: Wake up! Wake up!

Patient: What are you doing?

Nurse: It's time to take sleeping pills!

p>

15. Teacher: “What is a declarative sentence? ”

Student: “I don’t know. ”

Teacher: “What is a question?” ”

Student: “What?” "

Teacher: "What is an exclamation sentence? ”

Student: “Hey, this is too difficult!” ”

Teacher: “That’s a great answer. Students should learn from him.” ”

The students shouted Tina