Requesting two English jokes ~ short and simple!

1. Are They Worn Out?

"No," grew the quartermaster, "you can't have a new pair of shoes. The pair you have aren't worn out ."

"Not worn out," cried the recruit, " Why, if I step on a dime I can feel if it's head or tails."

Not worn out yet?

"No," the quartermaster shouted, "you can't get a new pair of shoes, the ones you are wearing are not worn out yet."

"They are not worn out," the recruit shouted. Said: "Why? If I step on a dime, I can tell whether the side I step on is male or female." 2.Sunset

Father: This is the sunset my daughter painted. She studied painting abroad, you know.

Friend: Ah, that accounts for it! I never saw a sunset like that in this country.

Sunset

Father: This "Sunset" was painted by my daughter. You know, she studied painting abroad.

Friend: Ah, no wonder! I have never seen such a sunset in my country. 3.A Great Man

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years. A great man

Teacher: If Shakespeare were still alive, would he be a great man?

Student: Of course. Because so far, no one has lived to be over 400 years old. 4.Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes, " said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." Where is the father? The brothers were looking at some beautiful oil paintings. "Look," the elder brother said, "how beautiful these paintings are!" "Yes," the younger brother said, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. So where did the father go?" The elder brother thought for a while, Then explained: "Obviously, he was painting these paintings at the time.

" 5.THREE PEOPLE

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read, "Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man." "How about that!" he exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave."

Three people

When a person visited the cemetery, he saw a tombstone that read: "Buried here is John Kelly, a lawyer. An honest person. "What's going on!" he cried. "They buried three people in one grave." ”