Classic joke (joke that can make people particularly happy)

First, the furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but after school starts, you can't recognize me as fat!

Second, when I was in love, my father disagreed with my relationship with my husband until my husband came to see me for the first time and took off his shoes ... My father held his breath and said, young man, it tastes like my daughter. Take it away!

Third, don't complain that you live too tired and bitter. Like me, I used to be nothing, but now I'm different. Even the boss who is worth a million dollars took the initiative to say hello when he saw me: "Hey, waiter, come here for a moment"!

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Fourth, I raised a fish and died. I don't want to be buried I want to be cremated. Who knows, the more you bake this thing, the better it smells. Then I bought a bottle of beer!

In the final analysis, women are still emotional and have no immunity to all kinds of small animals, such as Bugatti Veyron, Hummer, Jaguar, Land Rover, BMW and, of course, Tmall.

6. I heard that irregular rest is harmful to my health, which scares me to stay up late every day and cook regularly.

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7. When I was shopping, the security guard at the door called me, "Wait a minute, what's in your bulging clothes?" I lifted my coat angrily and shouted, "it's meat, it's meat!" My own. "

8. I was hospitalized for infusion last week, and the time to play mobile games passed quickly. When I looked up and saw the bottom of the bottle, I suddenly panicked and shouted, "waiter, it's full!" "

Nine, it is said that girls are made of water, gentle and will not lose their temper. Me, too, but I'm Sprite, so I have to hold it. I can't shake it or drop it, or it will explode easily.

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X. Taking her daughter for an injection, she climbed onto the stool and said to the nurse, "Sister, be gentle. If you love me, I will call you aunt tomorrow and grandma the day after tomorrow. "

Eleven, some women look good in stockings; There are also some women wearing stockings, which shows that the quality is very good.

Twelve, the three tragedies of the dinner: the person to be invited didn't come, the person who came has nothing to do with you, and only you are awake when you check out.

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Thirteen, accompany my wife to press the road at night, and pick up 5 yuan on the way. My wife said that the money I picked up must be spent, otherwise it would bring bad luck. I'm dubious. As a result, she dragged me into the supermarket and bought more than 200 snacks.

14. What's the saddest sentence you've ever heard, and immediately turn around and go home? Our crystal has been attacked.

Fifteen, I wanted to buy a down jacket, but I spent more than three thousand. Later, after careful measurement, cold medicine is only a few tens of dollars, and it is still cost-effective to buy cold medicine.

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Everyone says I'm single, which is very interesting. Isn't everyone the same? Who can have a double body? Even Nezha superhuman powers is just a corpse!

Seventeen, go to eat pizza with friends, the waiter asked: "Cut 8 pieces, or 16 pieces?" The friend said, "Cut 8 pieces, but we can't finish cutting 16 pieces."

One day, I watched TV with my father. I said to my father, "Dad, your taste is really strong. You found someone like my mother." Dad looked at me and said, "What is this? I had a heavier taste in my last life! " "

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19. Looking at your back, I thought you could charm thousands of troops. I really underestimated you when you turned around. You are fully capable of scaring millions of heroes.

Twenty, hungry, go downstairs to buy something to eat and shout to the boss: come and tidy up the cage. The boss probably didn't react and replied, what kind of stuffing do you want in the cage?

Twenty-one, a few decades later, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium, burn them all to ashes, one for you, one for me, and send them all to the countryside to make fertilizer.

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Twenty-two days ago, I practiced reversing into the warehouse, but I couldn't get in. Finally, the coach said, "Come on, get off! Let's go in! "

Twenty-three, "Why do parents only look at scores in exams?" "Because they can't understand the question!"

24. Life is like a circle of friends. Just be yourself. You don't have to force others to like it. God will naturally arrange those beautiful and meaningful people to praise you.