Are there any funny jokes to coax boys?

A young man and a young woman are sitting on the beach.

The young man drew a circle on the ground and said, "My love for you, like this circle, will never end."

The young woman also drew a circle on the ground with her finger and said, "My love for you will never begin." .

A buddy once asked a girl he had long admired, ready to confess to her. They sat for a long time before he got up the courage to say to the girl, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

The girl replied shyly, "Not yet."

He was ecstatic: "Then can you be my boyfriend?"

A buddy once asked a girl he had long admired, ready to confess to her. They sat for a long time before he got up the courage to say to the girl, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

The girl replied shyly, "Not yet."

He was ecstatic: "Then can you be my boyfriend?"

A buddy once asked a girl he had long admired, ready to confess to her. They sat for a long time before he got up the courage to say to the girl, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

The girl replied shyly, "Not yet."

He was ecstatic: "Then can you be my boyfriend?"

When Mr. A was doing a Chinese test paper, he was stumped by a fill-in-the-blank question. "Who is the author of" The Dawn is Quiet here "? Struggling for a long time, Ah Jun resolutely wrote "holyfield" on the empty column.

The invigilator smiled and asked, "Why not write Tai Sen?" Ah Jun said, "His name is too short to look like!"

What does "non-weight" mean?

Before the graduation exam, the teacher gave us a tutorial to explain which courses to review. I was absent due to illness. Later, I borrowed a classmate's textbook and saw the words "key" and "non-key" on it, so I changed the "key" and abandoned the "non-key". Unexpectedly, I did badly in the exam.

I went to ask that classmate, and it turns out that "non-weight" means "very important"! ! !

The exam really hurt Shen Yuan.

After several months of staying up late, my roommate and I finally finished the last subject of the final exam. When I returned to the dormitory, I saw my face haggard in the mirror and couldn't help saying to my roommate, "I look ten years older."

The roommate replied, "You are better than me. I look as if I have only ten years left. "

At this moment, another roommate couldn't help saying, "You are all better than me. I look like I've been dead for ten years! " "

A master translator is not simple.

In the mid-term exam, there was a translation with the title: "My son said in Sichuan: The deceased is like a husband, not giving up day and night ..."

After correcting the manuscript paper, the teacher said seriously to the whole class, "There is a person in our class who wrote' The man who died seems to be my husband, and he looks like him all day long'." "

I can't answer it and it's not empty.

In a final exam, English topics are as follows:

1, I put on my coat and found that my button had fallen off.

When he heard the telephone ring, he answered it.

Xiao Mo, whose English is the worst, wrote the following answer:

1, shit!

2. Hello!

What is it made of?

It is said that there was a mid-term exam with five questions to test phrases.

Everyone knows it by heart, but I can't remember one question. The topic is this:

John and Mary made up after their quarrel.

After the exam, everyone smiled strangely and said nothing.

A few days later, after correcting the paper, the teacher came in reluctantly and said, "There are not many correct answers to this question, but the wrong answers are very consistent ..."

I cann't believe everyone answers love

The correct answer is up because make up means "reconciliation" (quarrel)

Love, witness growth

Freshman: (shyly) "A handsome guy asked me to see a movie." (The rest of the roommates immediately leaned in enthusiastically) "Really? I'll take a look with you and help you check. "

Sophomore: "hey, don't always look at that girl." Did you chase her or not? " ? I can do it without you! "

Junior: (Weekend) Unfortunately, there are two love birds in the dormitory, and I am the only one left in the empty room.

Senior: That's funny. Only then do you want to start with me. I won't accompany you after the postgraduate entrance examination. Are you kidding?

Miss, did you drop this?

Xiaoming is 20 years old and has no girlfriend. Egged on by his dormitory buddies, he decided to go after a girl he had long admired.

One day, he saw the girl walking alone on the playground and followed her. Xiao Ming is very anxious because he doesn't know how to speak.

Seeing the girl getting farther and farther away from him, he had to pick up something from the ground and catch up and say, "Miss, did you drop this brick?"

Ten dollars for the truth.

A man got lost in the country. He asked a child for directions.

The child said, "Give me ten dollars and I will tell you the truth."

The man gave him ten dollars.

"Thank you!" The child replied, "To tell the truth, I don't know."

This is the difference.

One day, Xiaotian said to his brother, "Brother, ask your mother for money to buy ice cream!" " "

"Why don't you ask your mother for it? You are not ignorant, she is not only my mother, but also your mother! "

"Yes, but you've known her longer!"

Assemble with screws

Mom is pregnant, and 4-year-old Hai is puzzled. She asked her father how his future brother or sister was born.

Dad explained to her: "Sir, come out, regenerate your body, and finally have two legs, understand?"

"I see, Dad, and then you put them together with screws, right?"

Be careful not to hit your foot.

My colleague will go to kidney calculi and rest at home.

His little nephew asked kidney calculi what it was, and he said that a stone came out when he peed.

The little nephew said anxiously, "uncle, you must spread your feet when you pee." Be careful not to hit your feet! " "

I don't want to go to school today.

Son: Dad, I don't want to go to school today.

Dad: What's the matter?

Son: Last week, a chicken died on the farm. The next day, I ate "roast chicken pieces" for lunch. A pig died on the farm three days ago, and I ate braised pork at noon the next day.

Dad: So what?

Son: Our English teacher died yesterday. ...

Less than you.

When the father saw his son in front of the cinema, he said angrily, "You don't know anything about learning. You only watch movies. Nine times out of ten, I see you here! " "

The son said, "Then I am one less than you!" " "

Why bother?

The father took his youngest son panting and climbed to the top of the mountain.

Dad said, "Look, how beautiful the plain under our feet is!" " "

"Since the scenery below is good, why should we spend three hours climbing it? Dad. "

Big pig and little pig

Wankage: "Oh, whose pigs are these?" Come to our garden? "

Wan Sage: "I don't know who the big pig belongs to, only who the little pig belongs to."

"Come on, whose pig is this?"

"Piglets belong to big pigs?"

Make a sentence, Doby. You

One day, when making sentences in Chinese class, the teacher asked Xiaoming to make sentences with "Sure enough".

Xiaoming: I eat fruit first, and then eat. ...

When the teacher saw this, he immediately interrupted him: "It really is a word, so you can't make sentences like this."

Xiao Ming said, "I'm not finished yet, teacher-I eat fruit first, and then I have diarrhea."

Teacher: @ # $ * …

I want to listen to the restricted class

Tom always listens to his father's story before going to bed. .....

Dad: "Once upon a time, there was a frog ..."

Tom: "Dad, I don't want to listen to fairy tales today. Can I tell science fiction stories? "

Dad: "Well, in space, there is a frog ..."

Tom: "Forget it, Dad, in order to celebrate my eighth birthday, can we talk about the restricted level?"

Dad: "All right! Don't let your mother know. There is a frog with no clothes on ... "

I don't have my cell phone.

After school, a five-year-old girl cried because her mother didn't come to pick him up.

"Don't cry, dear!" The teacher said, "Let's call your mother now. Do you have a phone at home? "

The little girl was even sadder and said, "Yes, but … I left it at home … I didn't bring it!" " "

There are birds flying.

The father taught his son. When he learned the word "heaven", he asked, "What's on your head?"

The son thought for a moment and said, "Hair."

"What about the hair?"

"The roof."

"What about the roof?"

"Tiles."

Father was angry and struck the table: "Idiot, take a good look. What else is on it?"

The son cried in horror, "There are ... birds flying ..."

I found it. . .

1, five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang, so I called the hundred-dollar bill:

"Ah! Your son is here. If you don't want us to kill the ticket, you can exchange yourself for him! "

One hundred dollar bills thought for a moment and said:

"Tear it, tear you up and you don't even have five dollars!"

A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp.

Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. "

Man: "I want a wife ..."

The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully, "I'm starving and I'm greedy for beauty!" " Pathetic! "Then he disappeared.

Man: "... cake."

The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two and played badminton.

Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four sections and plays mahjong.

Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.

Mother earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! "

Father earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football. "

4. Panda Man wants QJ Panda Girl, and Panda Girl fights hard and fights to the death.

After the failure, Panda Man said angrily, "We are all going extinct!" "

5. tortoise and rabbit race ... the rabbit quickly ran to the front. ......

The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him, come up, I'll carry you. ......

Then ..... the snail climbed up. ......

Soon ... the tortoise saw another ant ... and said to him, come up, too. ......

So the ants came up.

When the ant appeared ... he saw the snail on it ... and said to him, hello.

Do you know what the snail said?

Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. .......

6. A man and a woman are eating.

Girls keep asking boys: Do you love me?

The boy glanced at the girl and went on eating dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked, Do you love me or not?

The boy finally said: love

The girl asked again, then how do you prove it?

Suddenly, the boy took out 30 yuan money from his pocket.

And ask the girl: Do you have ten dollars?

The girl gave the boy ten yuan. ......

The boys put forty yuan on the table.

soon .....

The girl was very angry and asked the boy, Do you want to prove that you love me?

The boy said: I have been proved! Forty is just around the corner! (This cow! )

7. Go to the snack street one day

Find a store that sells egg towers

Every one looks delicious. I want to buy one to try.

I asked the clerk: Is this sold separately?

Shop assistant: No, it's Japanese.

8. One day, a family caught fire.

Mom and dad both fled, leaving only one son inside.

Mother was very nervous and shouted outside:

"Son ... what are you doing ... it's on fire ..."

The son replied, "I'm wearing socks ..."

Mom said again, "What socks to wear in case of fire ..."

After five minutes, my son hasn't come out yet. ......

Mother shouted nervously again, "Son, what the hell are you doing?" Come out ~ fire, stay inside ... "

The son said, "I'm taking off my socks."

9. A man went fishing by the river.

First he wore a leaf ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, then he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~

He had no choice but to change earthworms ~ and there was still no fish for a long time ~ ~

In a rage, he took out 100 RMB and fell into the water to curse:

"*-%#% what to eat! Buy it yourself! ! ! ! "

10, a German, a Frenchman and a Japanese are going to work in the mine.

The boss is American. He said to the Germans: You have a good physique and you are in charge of coolies.

Say to the French: You said you were an engineer and you were in charge of the mining plan.

He said to the Japanese: You are very thin. You are in charge of supply.

Then every other week, they start to work.

A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese had disappeared. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work first.

When the Germans started to work, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted:

"surprise! 」

1 1, "I can't see things too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist.

"Please follow me," the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. "What do you think that is?"

"the sun." The patient replied.

"Then how far do you want to see!"

One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple.

The snake said: I am too young to fart so smelly. It must be a cow.

The cow said: I eat grass, and I won't fart so smelly.

The pig said: People who fart will blush.

Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out and drove the pig away, saying, How many times have I told you, I was born blushing.

13 One day, a man met God. ......

God suddenly kindly gave the man a wish. ......

God asked ......

Do you have any wishes? ......

The man thought about it. ......

I heard that cats have nine lives. ......

Then please give me nine lives. ......

God said, ......

Your wish has come true. ......

One day, the man was idle and bored. ......

If you want to say death, forget it. ......

There are nine lives anyway

Lying on the tracks. ......

As a result, a train passed by. ......

That man is still dead. ......

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 cars. ......

14, one day, three people came to the funeral home. Strangely, their smiles after death are all ......

Confused, the funeral home manager asked the police: Why do people's faces look like this after death?

The policeman said: It's ... it's a long story ... Look at the man on the left ... He was with his wife in the spring night ... at the most passionate moment ... he couldn't stand it ... and then hung up.

The administrator replied, alas ... I wish I could die under the flower ... Being a ghost is also very romantic ... How did the middle one die?

Policeman: The one in the middle ... Oh, he ... is really a human tragedy ... He was walking on the road ... Suddenly, he heard that he won the lottery ... and the prize money exceeded 700 million yuan. ..

When he was laughing happily ... he was hit by an oncoming car ... and died. ......

The administrator replied: Alas ... he really didn't have enough luck to enjoy the rest of his life ... What about the rest?

Policeman: ... it's a pity that this one died ... he was killed by lightning while climbing a tree.

The administrator replied: ... This is a bit wrong. Why do you laugh when you are struck by lightning? ......

The policeman said, because he climbed the tree and thought ... suddenly there was a flash of lightning. ......

He thought ... someone was taking pictures of him. ......

15, it is said that thousands of years ago, both male and female dogs were squatting when urinating.

It was not until the Tang Dynasty that the situation changed. ...

Everyone has heard of Emperor Taizong! His old man keeps a pair of Beijing dogs. On one occasion, Emperor Taizong went to Huashan to worship heaven and brought this pair to. ...

Halfway through the sacrifice, the bitch suddenly felt anxious and ran behind a tree to solve it.

This is a very disrespectful act when offering sacrifices to heaven, which angered the jade emperor.

The Jade Emperor ordered Lei Gong to hit a thunder, and the thunder hit the tree just right. The tree fell and killed the bitch. The male dog was very scared when he saw it. ...

From then on, every time the male dog urinates under the tree, he will put out a foot and push it hard against the tree.

In case the tree falls down and suppresses itself: