Breaking up just after the official announcement? Sure enough, netizens were prophets

01

Falling in love between handsome men and beautiful women is originally a pleasant thing to watch, but the interaction between "Wuhan University belle" Li Shaminzi and her boyfriend makes people's facial features twist into a ball. .

In the fourth season of "Daughters in Love", Li Shaminzi appeared holding hands with Fan Kaijie. The two were officially announced not long ago, and now the audience is waiting to eat Tangtang.

Unexpectedly, Fan Kaijie's operation persuaded countless viewers to retreat, and Li Shaminzi's father was even made angry and cried.

He complained bitterly to Fan Kaijie, "If this were at home, I would kick him out" and "He doesn't care about Li Shaminzi at all", and even shouted to his daughter from a distance, "Girl, please come back, stop talking about it"!

What did Fan Kaijie do to offend his future father-in-law?

At the beginning of the show, Li Shaminzi wanted to give Fan Kaijie a surprise. She was not very good at driving, so she mustered up the courage to go on a self-driving trip.

Where is Fan Kaijie? Li Shaminzi was really allowed to drive the entire journey and didn't help with the luggage. He looked like a hands-off shopkeeper.

When they arrived at the location, Li Shaminzi took out a detailed guide: when to eat, when to go out, what time to do, all planned clearly.

It can be seen that she really loves Fan Kaijie.

She selflessly devoted herself to the other party without a word of complaint. The eyes she looked at Fan Kaijie were filled with pink stars of love, making her look like a young woman in love.

Fan Kaijie is completely like a "white-eyed wolf".

Regardless of how much thought his girlfriend put in, she started shouting about the heat as soon as she got off the car, saying that she was "too hot to eat" and forced Li Shaminzi to leave quickly.

In fact?

This is a restaurant carefully prepared by Li Shaminzi. There is a band at the door and they can also play musical instruments. Seeing that my girlfriend is so attentive, she should tolerate it even if she is dissatisfied, right?

But Fan Kaijie kept his "unhappiness" on his face the whole time. Li Shaminzi invited him to play a musical instrument, but he refused to play and could not be coaxed.

Li Shaminzi’s father felt very distressed when his own daughter became someone else’s mother-in-law.

He originally thought that his daughter had good conditions and strong abilities, and she should be the one who was pampered in love.

Before recording the show, he also told his daughter: Don’t be too willful and don’t bring trouble to yourself.

Who knew that a daughter could be so humble in love?

When going out, it’s like “coaxing a baby”. When he arrived at the hotel, he thoughtfully prepared Fan Kaijie’s daily necessities. He was greeted with a smile the whole time, for fear that Fan Kaijie would be a little bit unhappy.

Li Shaminzi's father was full of doubts: "Why does she look like her mother?"

Audiences also commented: This doesn't look like falling in love, it just looks like a mother taking her son on an outing.

Passive, humble, cautious, the one who loves more is destined to pay more; when the relationship breaks down, he will also endure more pain and reluctance.

That’s why we look forward to seeing a sweet love and seeing an outstanding girl like Lisa Minzi being held in the palm of her boyfriend’s hand.

Although "crazy for love" is admirable, it also makes people hate that iron cannot become steel.

A passionate love may seem beautiful, but it actually contains landmines.

In this relationship, Fan Kaijie performed poorly and angered many viewers, but Lisa Lee was not without fault.

02

A comfortable relationship cannot be separated from the efforts of both parties; a bad interaction must also have problems on both sides.

It is not difficult to see that Li Shaminzi gave Fan Kaijie too much indulgence. Looking at the details of their relationship, her indulgence mainly comes from three points:

① She is too humble

"Humble" is the most intuitive impression many viewers have of Li Shaminzi, which is in sharp contrast to her excellent resume:

What is unexpected is that such an outstanding girl , before meeting Fan Kaijie, he had experienced the pain of his boyfriend cheating on her.

During that relationship, Li Shaminzi also tried to please each other.

How flattering is that?

To this day, she gets choked up when she mentions her ex. She also calls her ex from time to time on the show, as if he is a shadow that she can't get rid of.

As the saying goes, "Don't fall into the same pit twice." But Li Shaminzi doesn't seem to understand this truth. She treats Fan Kaijie the same way she treats her ex, and even becomes even more humble because of fear of losing him.

Taking the initiative to drive, arranging hotels, planning strategies, riding horses and horses, watching people's behavior...

Not to mention that Li Shamin's father can't stand it, even the audience wants to remind her: Girl, be more confident Bar! Your humble appearance is really ugly!

②She attaches too much importance to the sense of ritual

Every girl has a fantasy about love, and Lisa Minzi is no exception.

She and Fan Kaijie both liked music, so they chose a restaurant with a band, but she forgot to ask the other person: Do they like this atmosphere?

If she asked, Fan Kaijie would definitely answer: I don’t like it.

Because in the show, he is a straightforward person, he does whatever he feels comfortable with, and he doesn’t have so many thoughts about pursuing romance.

He can’t stand the heat, doesn’t like playing musical instruments in the heat, doesn’t like performing in front of the camera... He’s so straightforward that even the audience can get it.

As a girlfriend, Li Shaminzi didn't notice it at all, and instead kept pursuing the sense of ceremony she wanted.

Guest A Duo said: She seemed to be doing a fill-in-the-blank question. If there was a blank that she didn’t fill in, she had to do it.

No wonder Fan Kaijie always complains.

Regardless of whether the other person is willing or not, you only care about your own mood. How can you make your lover empathize with such rampant "paying"?

③She is always moved by herself

What is self-moved?

Just like the lyrics: When you close your eyes, it will be dark.

Li Shaminzi is immersed in her own world. She pays not only for Fan Kaijie, but also to please herself.

Psychologists believe that human beings seek happiness and avoid suffering, and will always do what makes them happy.

Subconsciously, Lisa longs to feel her own value from giving. The more she does for her boyfriend, the greater the value and the stronger her happiness.

Just like the popular saying: "What I love is not you, but myself in your eyes."

So she couldn't listen to Fan Kaijie's complaints, nor did she understand his preferences.

When Li Shaminzi asked him what kind of travel he liked, he said, "Just do what you like." Maybe Li Shaminzi was really willful and had a bad temper, but he thought it was normal.

But it was really awkward for his girlfriend to hold up a "pay" sign and do things that "touched her". No wonder he always showed his unhappiness on his face.

03

In love, the initial emotional model is not firm, and it takes several rounds of running-in to form a stable interactive model that supports each other.

As the emotional model gradually matures, the minds of both parties will also mature.

Because in this process, we will compromise, adjust, overcome some shortcomings, and make changes.

What we see is just a certain stage of love.

If Li Shaminzi can realize her own problems and grow up with Fan Kaijie, the future will be bright.

As she praised Fan Kaijie: He is like a beam of light that illuminates my world.

So in life, how can we seize this "light" and cultivate a stable and comfortable interaction mode?

I have three suggestions:

1. Express your feelings promptly

Li Shaminzi was rejected by Fan Kaijie. It was obvious that she was unhappy, but she still smiled. Yingying suppressed all the anger.

/p>

"It turns out that she doesn't like that I always reject her, so I will pay attention next time."

2. Reduce self-impression

When we truly fall in love with someone, we will want him to be happy. This is human nature, but this happiness should be well-founded.

What does the other person like? What don't you like? What does he want me to do?

Carrying out these investigations clearly and then putting them into action is far better than being enthusiastic due to "self-impression".

3. When you love the other person, don’t forget to love yourself

Many girls forget to please themselves when they fall in love.

Lovers need to be coaxed, but bags still need to be bought, so that the time and energy we put in can be compensated and rewarded from other places.

After all, if you have been in love for too long, you will find that there are always times when your lover is not enlightened and may not be able to meet our expectations 100%, but "loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."

Put on beautiful clothes and go on a date with yourself, and you can experience a different kind of happiness.

*The pictures in this article are all from screenshots of variety shows and have been deleted.

Letter to my best friend

Love is a practice. We practice how to have a comfortable and happy relationship, and we also practice how to love ourselves better. Two different powers, Guide us to continuously integrate and adjust.

In fact, it is not difficult at all to have a good relationship. As long as we can give the other person what they want and what we want, we will feel satisfied.

If you neglect either party, you will feel empty and regretful.

Therefore, we need to learn to love ourselves, learn to express, learn to communicate, and learn to get along.

In this way, the relationship can "breathe" on its own and let it go naturally. One day, the little sapling of love between you will grow into a towering tree.

Many of my best friends asked me: What is the correct way for couples or couples to get along?

The answer is, the most suitable and unique way of getting along with you.

This requires a combination of factors such as the differences between men and women, as well as the personality differences between you and him. You can privately ask us to tell you the most comfortable way of getting along with a lover.