A shameful joke

Shameful joke: "I stood up and gave my seat to a pregnant woman." She looked at me doubtfully and suddenly understood, crying and laughing: classmate, I am fat! "

1, share the pain

The teacher asked the students: how to explain "sharing pain with others will halve the pain?"

Xiao Lun replied, "If my father hits me, I will hit his cat."

2. Difference

In biology class, the teacher asked: What's the difference between frogs and toads?

Zhang San replied: Frogs are conservatives, sitting in the well and watching the sky; Toad is an innovator and wants to eat swan meat.

Step 3 show up

The teacher assigned a question: Please sum up your appearance in four words. After the test paper is collected, the students' answers are divided into several types:

The critics' answers are: occasionally yes, terrible, I hate heaven, I want the afterlife, and so on.

The realistic answer is amphibians, orangutans, apes piracy, atavism and so on.

Modernists include: be original, ask my wife, etc.

And the only surreal answer is-it turned out to be people.

4. The headmaster is blacker

Freshmen are reviewed by the principal when they enter military training.

"Hello, classmate!"

"Hello, headmaster!"

"Students have worked hard!"

"Serve the people!"

"The students are tanned!"

Freshmen were suddenly speechless and didn't know how to answer. After a moment of silence, a boy loudly replied, "The headmaster is darker!" " "

5. Sentence conversion

Teacher: "Please turn the sentence" The horse has run away "into a question."

Little Ivan: "Can a horse run?"

Teacher: "Correct! Very good! Now turn it into an imperative sentence. "

Little Ivan: "Drive!"

6. Untitled

My roommate is nearsighted, often occupying the first row of seats, suffering from the splashing of foam in the mouth of the senior math teacher, which is irresistible. One day, she said to me: the high math teacher bowed his head and lectured, and the first row of tables were all wet; When the math teacher looked up to lecture, the second row of tables were all wet. I fainted on the spot.

7. Political prisoners

Teacher Zhang, the head teacher, walked into the classroom angrily and said sharply, "You call me Zhang from China, and I put up with it;" Why did the new political teacher call her a political prisoner (Fan)? "

8, dormitory don't solution

Xiao Lei took a high school classmate who came to see him to visit the university dormitory. He pointed to the dormitory group on the left side of the road and said, "This is the girls' dormitory area, called Vega Department." He pointed to the dormitory group on the right side of the road and said, "That's the boys' dormitory area, called the Cowherd Galaxy." He pointed to the road under his feet and said, "This road is called Yinhe Road."

At this time, the female cadre in charge of the student dormitory walked by with a straight face. Xiao Lei said calmly, "This is the Queen Mother."

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