Humorous classic funny short stories

Old classmate Hu, call me when you come back from Beijing, and let me invite some buddies to get together. it is quite easy to do so. Book a restaurant, "climb high and shout", and six or seven people will gather in the restaurant and wait for the old classmates to come. It suddenly occurred to me that I forgot to call Liu, so I called him and told him to come to the restaurant quickly.

Liu asked, "Who invited you?" I said, "You will know when you come."

When the old classmates arrived, everyone swarmed, shook hands and chatted happily. "Brother Hu", "Brother Hu" and "Great Hu" kept shouting. Just about to sit down, Liu came, met his old classmates, and quickly stepped forward to shake hands: "Hello, big brother, I haven't seen you for several years, you have gained weight."

When the waiter started serving, I pulled Liu aside and scolded him, "Your boy is really a good friend. Everyone calls him Brother Hu, but you are the eldest brother and become sworn brothers? "

Liu said unjustly, "What's the matter, I forgot my last name?"

John is a graduate student in economics and has graduated for many years.

He opened a furniture store and his business was booming. In order to expand his competitiveness, he is going to introduce a batch of French furniture, and he himself is going to visit Paris.

On his first day in Paris, John consulted several agents. After bargaining, the deal was finally reached. John is going to take a nap in a nearby bar because he is tired from the journey. Several places were so crowded that John managed to find an empty seat. Before the drink came, a young girl with a puzzled expression slowly came up to him.

John sensed that the girl wanted to talk to herself. So she was allowed to sit next to her. The girl talked on and on for a long time, but John couldn't understand a word of French. Similarly, girls can't understand him. Suddenly, an idea came to him. He took a napkin and drew a bottle of wine and a question mark on it? The girl nodded and drank with him.

After a while, John realized that it was time to eat. He brought another piece of paper with a picture of two people eating. The girl nodded knowingly and then dragged him to a nearby restaurant for consumption. The girl specially asked the waiter to arrange a quiet corner where she could listen to the accompaniment of the band and watch songs and dances. As John couldn't read the French menu, he had to ask the girl to order for him.

The food was delicious and they had a good time. After a full meal, John took out a tissue and drew two people dancing. The girl nodded again, accompanying him to the rhythm of music and enjoying the carnival.

At ten o'clock in the middle of the night, the people who eat gradually recede. At this time, the girl took out the paper towel and drew a bed.

Then ... to this day, John still doesn't understand how she knew she was engaged in the furniture industry.

Don't borrow it indiscriminately.

The math teacher asked the student Zhao Neng, "How much is 5 minus 9?"

Zhao Neng said, "How can you subtract 9 from 5?"

The teacher said, "When the number of places is not enough, you can borrow 1 as 10 from ten people."

Zhao Neng said, "I dare not borrow it. Mother just said yesterday:' borrowing money is a bad thing.' "

Powder companion

The teacher found a student's name in the exercise book: Mu (1+2+3).

The teacher asked, "Whose exercise book is this?"

A student stood up and said, "It's mine!"

Teacher: "What's your name?"

Student: "Mulinsen!"

Teacher: "Then how did you write your name like this?"

Student: "I used multiplication and division!

When I teach my students English, I often ask them to write the text silently on the blackboard. So as soon as I have class, they sit down.

Yesterday afternoon, I went to give an English class to the freshmen of Chinese Department. The class lasted for ten minutes before the most naughty path in their class arrived. All the seats in the back were taken, and I kept staring at the path to see where he was sitting. The path turned around in the classroom but I couldn't find a seat. Finally, I had to sit in the first row and face my seat at zero distance from the podium.

After chatting for a while, I saw that the students below were listless, and I lost my spirit, so I just sat down to give a lecture. Then it was too hot, so I took off my shoes. I think, anyway, there is a lecture table in front, and students can't see it.

Everyone was listless, but they were full of energy at night, and they kept talking with the classmates next to me under my nose. Too arrogant. So I took out my magic weapon-let the path come up and write down the words silently to warn him.

The path heard that it was going to come up to write words in dictation, and it was really pale. It took a long time to "hum" before limping onto the podium. I see, it's not right. Why are you limping on the road? It wasn't like this when I entered the classroom just now. I just wanted to ask him what was going on. When I stepped onto the platform, I suddenly found the path wearing my big leather shoes. I quickly looked under the lecture table, and there was only one leather shoe left. I don't know when a big hole was kicked in front of the lecture table.

When I was in a law class in my sophomore year, our law teacher had a hobby. She likes to ask questions, and she must repeat them loudly before asking them. Once when he was teaching the general principles of civil law, suddenly the teacher raised his voice and began to ask questions. All the students stared at the teacher in fear for fear of being shouted. Because the teacher asked questions instead of roll call, he looked at the roll call and asked questions, so no one had to bow their heads.

"25th, 1 class!" The teacher ordered.

There was silence (Zhang San was in a daze) ...

"25th ... Zhang San! Are you here? " The teacher repeated, brush! The whole classroom looked at Zhang San.

"Didn't come!" Zhang San shouted. The whole class was stunned! But I soon began to admire Zhang San's courage.

"Why didn't you come?" The teacher asked again.

"He is ill!" Zhang San had no choice but to lie, and the whole class burst into laughter.

"Are you from his dormitory?" The teacher was also confused by the inexplicable laughter.

"yes." Faced with the teacher's questioning, Zhang San turned green.

"What a pity! Go back and tell him to come to my office this afternoon! " The class laughed again.

"ah? ! All right. " Zhang San's scalp began to tingle. Who can I be scolded for this afternoon? It's just Li Si, alas, I have to treat that boy again.

Zhang San was glad to avoid a question when the teacher added, "Why don't you answer this question for him?"

"ah! ? "Zhang San barely stood up, and it is conceivable that someone in the classroom has hurt his stomach with laughter.

"Teacher, can you repeat the question you asked?"

"ah! ! I have repeated this question three times. How do you go to class? "

"Sorry, I didn't catch that!" Zhang San already has sweat on his forehead.

"Well, I repeat ..."

"I, report the teacher, I will not answer this question." Zhang San thought that he was going to die anyway, so why die so cowardly? So he got up with confidence.

"Well, come to my office with Zhang Sanyi at two o'clock in the afternoon!" All the students laughed until they spurted blood.

From then on, no one in the law class dared to say that XXX didn't come.

What is the power of the final exam 1 100?

Xiao Ming took the draft paper and multiplied it over and over again. When Xiaoming finally read the 83rd time, the math teacher came.

Standing behind Xiaoming, I watched him tirelessly multiply 1 by 1. Xiao Ming succeeded. He hurried to the podium and said, "Students, one question is wrong. Now correct it. 100 power fill in the blanks 1, please change it to 100.

Xiao Ming: "..."

Who doesn't mess when this happens!

When I was in the third year of high school, I had to go to self-study until late at night, and no teacher watched.

Parents always call their classmates when they study in the evening. As soon as a male classmate answers the phone, we shout, network management, network management.

As a result, I was scolded by my parents and couldn't explain it clearly.

Once a female classmate answered her parents' phone, and a male classmate shouted, put on my pants. As a result, the female classmate was confused. ...

How high is the sun?

A girl in the class is beautiful and sings well.

Yesterday in music class, she sang "Let me tell you gently". "Don't ask me how high the sun is, I'll tell you how deep I am."

Everyone laughed wildly. When she found out, her face was covered with black lines.

After class, many boys came to ask her, "How high is the sun?" ? How high is the sun? "

I screwed up the exam.

Goddess: "It's over, I failed this time."

Diaosi patted the goddess on the head and said, "Little fool, I knew you couldn't do it. I didn't write a few big questions so that we could go to the same school. "

Three months later, Diaosi went to Lan Xiang Technical School, and the goddess was sent to Europe by her parents to study!

Mark the location of Diaoyu Island.

In the geography exam, there is a question to mark the location of Diaoyu Island on the map and write down the sea area.

A student wrote "I don't know where Diaoyu Island is, I only know that it belongs to China" on the test paper.

The teacher was very moved and gave him a zero.

The new semester began, and a classmate stood on the podium and introduced himself. He seems nervous!

Stammered, "Hello, everyone, home. My name is Obama, ah no, my name is Ma Fangming. This horse is ... Obama's horse and the house is a building. No, no,no. This is the house of this building. Ming is a chess piece with a bright future. Its full name is Malou tablets. Wrong wrong ... "

The classic scene appeared: "hello, what's my name again?"