Funny jokes you can tell with girls you like ~ ~ ~ For my happiness, thank you in advance.

1. A cake got lost in the forest. Who encouraged him to go out of the forest?

Answer: pig. Because of chocolate cake.

2. Qian Feng: Why is the penguin's belly white?

Everyone is at a loss.

Qian Feng: Because penguins have short hands, they can only touch the front when taking a shower (while talking, demonstrating and laughing).

There are five people walking side by side in the street. Suddenly a typhoon came and knocked down a billboard, but only three people were killed. Why? Because that's McDonald's ("M")

Qian Feng: Do you know the name of the tiger?

Ou Di: Tiger.

Qian Feng: Wrong! !

Everybody: What?

Qian Feng: Dandan!

Everyone:

Qian Feng: Because the tiger is Dandan.

5. The joke is that astronauts use adult diapers. Qian Feng responded quickly and said, "Adult diapers, play personal names." Wang Han said coldly that they were not interested in knowing the answer, so they ignored him. However, Ou Di couldn't help it later and said, "Sorry, brother, I want to know Qian Feng's answer."

Qian Feng immediately stood up with excitement and pride-adult diapers, and package ~ ~ ~ adult! !

6. A bird was shot several times. Why are you still flying?

Answer: Because it is strong.

7. It is still a bird. It's been filmed several times. Why are you still flying?

Answer: Because the response is slow.

8. There are 800 Spartan. Why are there only 300 left in the end?

Answer: Because Wu Bai went to sing.

9. What are cloth and paper afraid of?

Answer: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

10. A pig was bored and left. What did it become when it went to England?

Answer: pig.

1 1. The number you dialed cannot be connected. Why?

Answer: Because Ningbo (you dialed) is far from Beijing.

12. A man is climbing a rock. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew out the candle. What did he say?

Answer: Happy birthday!

13. Nash is very fast. Why?

Answer: Because it's too late, then (Nash) will be soon.

14. 1 ~ 10, which two are the brightest?

Answer: 1 3. Because of the twinkling stars.

15. If there is a car with a prince and a princess, whose car is it?

The answer is "if".

16.26, which is the coolest letter?

Answer: C. Because Lucy (C) wears pants.

17.26 lETters, et has gone, how many letters are left?

Answer: 2 1, because ET took a UFO.

18. Qian Feng said: There is a little rabbit, which walks for a while, jumps for a while, and has its left foot and right foot for a while. Why?

Answer: Because she likes it.

19. There is an eggplant. It walked in the street and sneezed three times. Then he said, "Where did you take pictures of graduation photo?" .

20. One day, a man fished and caught a squid. The squid said, "Please leave me alone." The man said, "I'll test you a few questions and I'll let you go if you answer them." The squid said, "OK, OK, you can take the exam." As a result, the man baked it.

2 1. A match is walking on the road. It felt itchy, scratched its hair and caught fire.

23. How much does a star weigh?

8 grams, because the star is 8 grams (Starbucks)

24. There is a steamed stuffed bun. He was hungry and ate himself.

25. A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice and began to pluck his own hair when he was really bored. One ... two ... three ... Finally, there are none left. Suddenly, he cried ... It's so cold! ! ………………

26. One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?" (It's cold enough,,,)

27. There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. Penguins pull out his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!" "

Hearing this, the polar bear tore off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!" " "

(It's very cold ...)

A long time ago, a bird passed a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield.

All the corn turned into popcorn. When the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold. ...

29. Once upon a time, Tomato A and Tomato B went shopping together.

Suddenly a truck rushed out.

Squeeze the tomato nails through.

Tomato b laughs at tomato a.

[hahaha ketchup ~]

3 1. Ou Di's joke:

One day, Xiao Qiang came home crying and said, "Mom, mom, everyone at school says my head is a kite."

Then my mother said, "How come? Won't it? Come and run with me. " (Laughter)

3 1. From Koji: There is a bird that flew from the sun to the earth in one day; It took two days to fly from the earth to the sun.

Why?

Because flying towards the sun, one wing blocks the sun, and only one wing can fly, which takes two days.

32. A person who looks like a sweet potato fell down while walking. ..

There is a man who looks like an airplane. He walks and flies.

There is a man who looks like chocolate and is eaten when he walks.

There is a person who looks like a light bulb and lights up when he walks.

There was a man named Xiaohua who was picked while walking.

There was a man named Coke who was drunk when he walked.

There was a man named Cai Xiao who was dumped and spoiled overnight ~ ~

There is a man who looks like an onion, crying as he walks.

33. Xiaohong asked: Do you use your right hand or your left hand to make coffee?

Xiaomei said: right hand

Xiaohong said: Oh, you are awesome. You are not afraid of scalding, just like I use a spoon.

34. In the first phase of the college entrance examination star class, two girls were admitted to the mathematics department of Fudan University, but they all said that their dream was to make a movie. Wang Han: Sorry, teacher of Fudan University. Our children in Hunan are like this. They were admitted to the Department of Mathematics, but their dream was to make movies.

Qian Feng: Now it's a digital movie (cold. . . )

35. Once a group of young scientists came, a Beijinger said that his family had five poisons, and spiders were weaving webs by the bed. Then Qian Feng said, "One good thing is that there are no mosquitoes ..."

A cold wind blew, and Wang Han and Ou Di immediately dodged and said, Come, I'll interview you alone.

Qian Feng walked up to the little scientist and asked coldly, Are there any mosquitoes in your house?

36. The little snake asked Brother Snake in a panic .. "Brother, are we poisonous?" The snake said, "Why do you ask?"

The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now."

37. A patient came to see a psychiatrist.

Patient: I always thought I was a bird.

Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start?

Patient: Because I am a bird.

38. A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient: What would you do if I cut off one of your ears?

The patient replied, then I can't hear you.

The doctor listened: mm-hmm. It is normal.

The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again?

The patient replied, then I won't watch it.

The doctor is getting nervous. How could he not see it?

The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off.

39. There are two mental patients. They escaped from the hospital.

They run and run. They climbed a tree.

One of them jumped from the tree. Go away, go away.

Then he looked up and said to the man above, hey-why don't you come down?

The man above answered him: no-good-ah-

I'm not familiar with it.

40. There is an old lady in a mental hospital.

Wear black clothes and hold a black umbrella every day.

Squatting in front of a mental hospital.

The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her.

So the doctor was dressed in black, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

The two spent a month in silence.

The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:

Excuse me-

Are you a mushroom, too

4 1. A psycho got a pistol from somewhere. He walked in a black alley. Suddenly, I met a young man. Without saying a word, the psycho pressed him to the ground and pointed a gun at his head. Q, what is one plus one? The young man was frightened and pondered for a long time. Answer, equal to two. The psychopath killed him without hesitation. Then I pulled the gun in my arms and said coldly, you know too much …

43. A child came to a toy store with a fake paper money and wanted to buy a toy plane. The buddy said, "Son, your money is not real." The child replied, "Is your plane real?"

44. An American, a Japanese and an China are exploring the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "Americans are the first to get the board. He said, "Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass. "Mat, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After the 70-board back cushion was smashed and there was blood on the board ... America always left. When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing happened; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama. China people get down slowly and say slowly, "Come, give me a Japanese mat. "

45. Son: "Dad, are you free on Friday afternoon?"

Dad: "What is it?"

Son: "The school will open a micro-parent forum!" "

Dad: "What is a micro-parent forum?"

Son: "Just the head teacher, you and me!" " "

46. A man was walking on the road when his feet suddenly felt pain.

Looking down, a lemon rotted at his feet.

It's not funny. I deleted it ...