Let me tell you a joke: There once was a eunuch, but there is no more...

A man in Beijing was stuck in traffic on the Second Ring Road when he took his pet turtle home from work. After watching the car for a long time and unable to walk a few steps, the turtle couldn't bear his temper and crawled home alone. I don’t know how long it took, but the owner suddenly heard a knock on the door outside the car. He saw Wugui sweating and said angrily: "You forgot to give me the door key..."

Three years after graduating from college In 2016, several classmates were chatting in the class group, and they were all talking about technology, Java, XML and the like. Another classmate opened a factory at home and became a manager early. He couldn't say anything and felt very unhappy. After a long time, he added: Due to business expansion, our company is recruiting a driver. The requirement is: 4 years of Java development experience! Suddenly the group became quiet...

Wife: "How does the fish-flavored shredded pork taste?" Husband: "It's average." Wife: "How about the roasted eggplant?" Husband: "It's okay." Wife: " What about Mapo Tofu? "Husband: "Okay." Wife: "Will you die if you say something nice?" Husband: "The rice is so hard!" One night, my daughter said to her mother. : "Mom, dad hasn't come back yet. Is he having an affair outside?" Mom said: "Silly boy, don't think the worst about everything! Maybe there was a car accident." ...

Both ends The cows were eating grass together. The green cow asked the black cow: "Hey! What does your grass taste like?" The black cow said: "Strawberry flavor!" The green cow came over and took a bite, and shouted angrily, "You lied to me!" Hei Niu looked at him contemptuously and replied: "Idiot, I said grass is tasteless."

A man was about to jump off a building, and his wife who had just come back shouted: "Don't be impulsive, dear, our There's still a long way to go!" After hearing this, the man jumped down without hesitation. The negotiator standing nearby said, "Madam, you really shouldn't threaten him like this..."

A wonderful way to hide private money: One day, I was gossiping with a group of stock traders, and somehow I mentioned private money. , when everyone was lamenting that no matter what, they would be discovered by the other party, an uncle said silently: I save everything in the bank. Everyone asked: "Where are the bankbooks or cards?"

The uncle smiled honestly: burn it, and get the ID card to replace it when you need to use it...

The Iranian delegation's The team leader asked a sports reporter from a weekly newspaper in Shanghai: "Guangzhou is called the 'Five Sheep City'. Which five sheep are they?" The reporter calmly replied: "Pleasant Sheep, Beautiful Sheep, Lazy Sheep, Boiling Sheep, Slow Sheep" "He said it in English and translated happysheep, lazysheep and slowsheep so meticulously that the team leader really believed it.

One year, the Clintons went to a gas station, and the gas station boy was Hillary’s first love. Clinton boasted to his wife: If you didn’t marry me, your husband might still be a gas station worker. Hillary replied, if I marry him, he may be the president, and where will it be your turn?

Han Han: The situation in China is that many parents do not allow students to fall in love. Even when they are in college, many parents are against falling in love. But as soon as they graduate from college, all parents hope that a girl of various kinds will fall from the sky immediately. They are excellent in all aspects and it is best for those who own a house to fall in love with their children and want to get married. What a beautiful thought.

Xiao Ming was not good at math and was transferred to a missionary school by his parents. After half a year, I got straight A’s in math. Mom asked: "Is it because the nuns teach well? Is it because the teaching materials are good? Is it because of prayer?..." "None of them," Xiao Ming said, "On the first day I entered school, I saw a person nailed to the plus sign, and I knew …They’re playing it real.

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Ten famous bachelors: 1. Plato 2. Leonardo da Vinci 3. Elizabeth I died a virgin. 4. Newton had almost no record of being close to women 5. Voltaire and married women The woman lived alone for 20 years. 6. Beethoven's love life was not smooth. 7. Jane Austen never married because of a broken love. 8. She failed to compete with a mathematician for the Nobel Prize. 9. Jin Yuelin never married because of his love. 10. Van Gogh’s humiliating life

If you offend your boss, all you lose is a job; if you offend a customer, all you lose is an order; if you offend your wife, you may lose When you lose a family, yes, there is only one person in the world you can offend: you look down on her, complain to her, contradict her loudly, or even throw a bowl in front of her, she will not bear grudges against you. The reason is simple. , because she is your mother...

If you enter "story" on Google, you can get 113,000,000 results, but if you enter "ending", you can only get 44,900,000 results. It can be seen that not every result is available. Stories have endings.